Let's Get It On!

With yet another Poop-themed movie in theatres, has producer Marlowe decided to come up with more?

"Poop: The Western is the last one that I had written," the long-time resident of HTG Hollywood stated over a mound of BBQ brisket at Carne Diem. "But, you never know, right? Let's see if other producers step up and get content into the theatres."

Rumors have been crossing the city that Marlowe indeed does have a new Poop film in mind... an event parody. Comedian Ralphie May, who had a supporting role in Poop: Worst of the Litter, is said to have been approached to play a professional grappler.

"Me?" exclaimed the comic, who recently lost a considerable amount of weight. "I don't think so. Maybe Louie Anderson. Ask him. He was in that Litter movie with me and we all had a good time. But I'm moving on the other roles. I hear there's an award out there that would benefit a producer and studio greatly if they hired me. Juicy. I'm holding on for that."

Reports that representatives from Miracle Pictures scouting arena locations have not been verified.

Poop: The Western and Poop: Worst of the Litter are currently in theatres.

More Artwork, This Time for October Release

Choppin' Broccoli...

Justin Bieber usually does not appear in the press unless he's done something wrong. "It's the price of fame," according to one of his spokespeople. But info concerning the Biebs has arrived to this news source that is not unpleasant.

In preparation for the upcoming Miracle Pictures film Poop: The Western, the singer/actor/bad driver cooked dinner for many of the cast and crew.

"It was platypus and broccoli" explained studio chief/producer Marlowe, who attended the gathering. "Not bad. I was more than happy to give it a try, because I hear that those beasts are smug bastards."

"Just call me Chef Bieber" proclaimed Justin as he served the meal.

Bieber is a supporting character in the film, a mock western. He plays The Kid, a young gunslinger who assists a sheriff portrayed by Bruce Campbell (who was unable to attend the party due to commitments at the Malibu Sausage Appreciation Meeting held once a month at Chris Harmer's house).

"I've had the thing finished for months" Marlowe explained. "When Pedro postponed a film of his, it left the weekend open. I hate when that happens too often. So I slid this in."

"I hear Hulk Hogan rips his shirt off in this" shouted a dinner guest, apparently inebriated on Diet Shasta and tequila.

Poop: The Western opens on Friday the 19th.

Wrestler Viction of Death Hoax, Blames Netflix and Diet Fresca

TCW World Heavyweight Champion Tommy Cornell is the Internet's latest victim of a death hoax.

On Wednesday morning, #RIPTommyCornell began trending nationwide on Twitter, alarming wrestling fans. The hoax came with a fake post on another news site, claiming that he died in a “fiery car crash".

It is 100 percent NOT TRUE.

Cornell is very much still alive. The wrestler and TCW majority stockholder has yet to issue a comment concerning the distasteful news.

TCW 85, opening on September 26, will feature a Beat the Clock challenge with three matches. Whoever wins in the shortest amount of time becomes the new number one contender to Tommy Cornell's World Heavyweight Championship and will face the confident Cornell in an Inferno match at TCW Hotter than Hell (part II).

"These rumors have got to stop" declared a wrestling fan at a local gym. "Some people are just sick."

Keep an eye out for further development in this incident.

Journalistic Dry Spell Ends With Poster Tease

Canine Actress Has Ruff Week

Little One, featured in the recent Amyland Studios outing Dog Party, was involved in another car accident earlier this week. On Wednesday, her brand new F-150 reportedly sustained thousands of dollars in damage when another driver swerved into Little One's lane and struck her vehicle. The young star has had more than her share of trouble on the road.

Earlier this year, Little One got into a three-car accident when she crashed her Volkswagon bug into the back of another auto. In April, she was pulled over for speeding. And in July, Little One was accused of throwing half-eated Milk Bone dog biscuits out of her window, striking another car and causing it to crash into a tree.

"I think she's too young too drive" commented famed dog entertainer Amy.

"What do you expect?" asked Little One. "I'm just a tiny dog and I have no thumbs!"

Little One and Amy will return to the big screen in Baseball Mogul's The Color of Amy, coming soon.

Shirt and Shoes? Not Required. Teeth? Don't Be Puttin' on Airs!

Newcomers Chester and Lester Bestertester may be new to HTG Hollywood, but they have already parlayed their experiences into a motion picture.

"We're mighty fortunate" explained the brother with the suspenders.

"That's true" added the brother with the do-it-yourself dental work. "We walked into lots of offices and they'd just yell at us."

"He's right" continued the first man. "They'd say 'Hey, we're a copy shop!' and 'Get lost, we sell coffee, not movies!'"

According to the two immigrants from the country's center, it took a few weeks before they managed to sell their idea.

"It's about life back home and all that. You know, workin' on the farm. Fetchin' water down at the crick. Taking your cousin to the dance. Typical growin' up stuff."

Although a release date has not been set for Hills: Ozarks, they're hoping that the releases of the Mountains films helps their cause.

"You hear a lot of them fellas sayin' Ozark Mountains. But we just say hills. That's why we called our movie what we did. That and we didn't want to hog in on any rights with them there Mountains fellas. The last thing we need is another feud."

Readers are asked to keep an eye on HTG Hollywood news for further details on this new film.

Was That a Mushroom That He Bumped Into?

Calls flooded the HTG Police Department after something... actually, two things... were spotted in traffic near downtown HTG Hollywood earlier this week.

Was it an advertising scheme for a new film? A couple guys just having fun? Or is this how two brothers actually travel to work?

"We're not sure" answered a puzzled Carl Winslow, the Chief of Police. "We've been unable to locate these two, despite all of the technology available to us. Driving go carts on a busy street is obviously dangerous. Hopefully that was a one time thing and we won't be seeing them again."

Rumors have been crossing the city over the last couple months that Chief Winslow might be retiring from his post. With the success of Another Time to Die Hard and more Die Hard films on the way, will he be picking up more acting roles?

"I have no reason to retire from my duties with the city" Winslow remarked. "And these silly rumors that I'll be replaced by Deputy Barney Fife are absurd. He's passed away, folks. Not going to happen. Let's nip this in the bud while we can."

City officials are asking that any knowledge or sitings of the go cart drivers be forwarded to the HTG Police Department.

Film Draws Parallel With Studio Plans

It's rare to find animals who can act. But when filmmakers find some, they steal the show. When they're the majority of the show? The movie's priceless.

After a successful opening of Dog Party, Baseball Mogul Productions is working on The Color of Amy... a film with mostly dogs. Based on the Paul Newman/Tom Cruise movie The Color of Money, there are basic similarities.

"In The Color of Money, an aging pool hustler played by Newman discovers a way to stay in the game... by mentoring a young hustler portrayed by Cruise," stated a representative of BM. "In The Color of Amy, the older Amy will be tutoring the younger Little One. There will be some twists to the tale, though, so watch out."

It has not been offered if Amyland Pictures Parker Posey will return as Amy or if Elle Fanning will voice Little One, as they did in Dog Party.

"There's a parallel to the film and our future with Amy" the rep commented. "Amy is looking at hanging up her collar and hanging out in some sandbox in HTG Malibu. So it's time that a new entertainer comes along to take over. We're thinking that Little One will do nicely."

The Color of Money is slated for September. Woof.

Barbed Wire Removed from Restaurant After Accident Involving Barbequed Bologna

Parker Posey rocked a Mos Eisley Cantina T-shirt as she arrived at the HTG Airport in HTG Malibu from her annual trek to the Lego and Eggo Conference in Bumfrack, Arkansas. The actress managed to answer some questions about her recent voice role in Baseball Mogul's Dog Party.

“It’s personal, emotional" Posey stated. "I was apprehensive jumping on board for another turn as Amy the Dog, but in retrospect, it was the best decision of my life. That and not ordering the fish on the flight. These roles as Amy have afforded me a lot of creative opportunities outside of the dog franchise and it’s given me a lot of opportunities to learn and grow as a performer. And as a person, it’s endless, really.”

Dog Party, released by Amyland Studios, is currently in theatres. Next for Amyland is The Dependables, concerning a groups of older canines in adult diapers who must combat drug runners who have taken over their kennel. Posey is rumored to return as the voice of Amy.

Actress/Model Annoyed at Rumors

Kate Upton may seem to lead a charmed, happy life, but she faces daily turmoil because of false rumors about her. This especially holds true concerning her love life.

"One week they have me in Vegas partying with Harmer," explains Upton. "The next week I'm in Tahiti swimming nude with Amy the Dog. Then the next, they have me eating tacos in Cabo with the ghost of Don Knotts. What will it be next week? Who knows. But you can figure that it's likely not true."

Kate will appear on the HTG Hollywood big screen in the upcoming Poop: The Worst of the Litter. Although a small part, the role has already brought considerable buzz to the flick.

"I'm in just one scene" she mentions. "And it's in bed, so the wardrobe is, you know, non-existent. But some creep got ahold of some dailies and published a couple pics of me looking like I'm not wearing anything. The nerve! Why do people do things like that? I don't post naked pictures of them on Instragram. Of my dog Smoochie, maybe. But some perv? No way!"

The Miracle Pictures film Poop: The Worst of the Litter is the fourth in the Poop series.

"Marlowe has more serious offerings that he's working on," says a rep from the studio. "But he's not finished with them. He didn't want to miss out on some of that sweet Guardians of the Galaxy money. So he threw up this film that he's had done since spring. He tweaked it a little, to keep it contemporary. Hopefully he'll have his other films ready soon."

The Poop movie mostly follows a pair of friends and a day in Arkansas.

"It's obviously not to be taken seriously" the rep continues. "There are some familiar gags in there. Some not-so. You'll see."

Kate Upton and Poop: The Worst of the Litter can be seen starting August 1.

Sir Mix-a-Lot is Doing the Theme, Too. Can't Go Wrong There

The future movie hits are arriving at a quick pace, thanks to prolific producer Pedro of Baseball Mogul Productions. He is planning a new film, Kimphin: A Love Story, for late in the summer.

"It's definitely a romance film" stated a representative of the producer. "Real date night stuff. A woman, played by Kim Kardashian, is rescued from drowning by a dolphin while swimming one night at near her beach home. The two hit it off. Sparks fly. You know, the whole dolphin-meets-girl thing. We're hoping to end the summer season with it, and with a bang."

The rep giggled "Sorry, pun not intended."

Kardashian has not been in an HTG film for 5 years. She appeared in Pedro's HTG: The Movie in a minor role. The dolphin is played by HTG newcomer Binky, who was discovered being frisky with Pedro's boat at the HTG Yacht Club.

Keep an eye on the release calendar for a definite date.

UPDATE: This HTG news source has just learned that the alleged film Kimphin: A Love Story may not be happening. Another source within Baseball Mogul Productions called us after the above was published.

"There seems to be some confusion," explained the new source. "Pedro did watch a video of Kim Kardashian swimming with a dolphin while he ate a bag of Cheetos and guzzled a 2-liter bottle of Mellow Yellow, but that is the extent of it. There is no planned movie as reported. Pedro is working hard on wrapping up what he already has scheduled, including Buttholes and Yes, That's a Banana in My Pocket. Sorry."

Tom Hanks Appears in Just His Shorts While Shopping?

Actor Tom Hanks recently made a dash through a store in just his underwear, according to another HTG Hollywood news source. A so-called source at the shop made the false statement.

"Mr. Hanks took some clothing into a changing room. Halfway through, he ran out, just in his briefs. Store employees tried to cover him up, but he was too elusive. He was giggling like crazy as other customers looked on."

So, Tom Hanks, one of the world's most acclaimed actors, went dashing through a store in nothing but his underwear? No one took pictures? No cell phone video? No collaborating reports?

"The story is obviously not true" stated a representative of Hanks. "Some of these news reports are criminal. Why would Mr. Hanks run through a store in just his underwear? It's ridiculous."

Tom Hanks next appears in It’s A Wild World: A Crime Saga Part One, a Flip Brothers release of Eric's Frontline production company. It opens on Friday.

"Hopefully there are no scenes in the movie with him in his underwear" commented a local movie fan.

Hut or No Hut, That is the Question

After being on the market for two days, the hut from The Princess Bride that served as a home for Miracle Max has been pulled from sale. No official reason for the sale removal has been given.

But, according to a source in the HTG Hollywood real estate business, it's because the hut has been purchased by Miracle Max himself, Billy Crystal.

"Billy has fond memories of the hut" stated the confidential source. "When they reused it in the filming of Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig, he just knew that he couldn't let it get out of his grasp. So he plopped down a large sum, even by HTG Hollywood standards. It's not his primary residence, but a place where he can go and relax. He's as happy as a pig in cold mud, pun intended."

Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig enters theatres on July 4. It features the wise man giving advice to two villagers fighting over a... that's right... pig.

Actor Talks About Terrifying Real Sex and Not-So-Bad Pretend Sex in Front of the Camera

Does art imitate life? Recently, the Succubus actor Colin Farrell opened up about the terrors of sober sex and his infamous homemade porn video. Ten years ago, Farrell starred in a sex tape with Playboy model Nicole Narain, an experience that he doesn't want to repeat.

"It was a terrible experience," he stated, or which he was offered $5 million. "It's not pretending, like Eva [Green] and I did for Succubus. It was all too real. Horrifyingly real."

Eight years ago, Farrell gave up drinking. He said that changed everything. Asked about talking to women without the aid of alcohol, he was candid.

"I worried that I wouldn't be able to talk. I hadn't uttered a sober word for fifteen years."

As for sex?

"I made love to a woman about two and a half years after I got clean. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. She was gentle, but I was just used to drunkenness and dark rooms and clubs and toilets and wherever."

In the film Succubus, Farrell portrays a supernatural detective who has sex with a succubus... and soon learns that his life has changed.

"Yeah, pretend sex isn't so bad" Farrell concluded. "Lots of people around, though. That's kinda scary."

Succubus, a movie by Tesla's Mad Scientist Films, opens Friday.

Four Ball in the Corner Pocket for Two Milk Bones

And the canine related releases keep coming!

Fresh off of Amyland: The Movie, featuring the human-voiced work of several dogs, Amyland Studios has announced their newest dog-starring production. They have declared a summer release of The Color of Amy, a remake of the 1996 drama The Color of Money starring Paul Newman and Tom Cruise. And, to keep the feel of the original, Amyland has stated that Martin Scorsese will return to direct.

Featuring dogs in most of the roles (plus one cat, if rumor is to believed), the film will cover the resurfacing of a once great pool hustling dog who takes a young pup under his guidance in the competitive world of billiards. The voice cast is yet to be announced, but Amyland regulars are expected to be included.

"Dogs playing pool?" exclaimed an excited movie viewer at a local theatre. "What will they do next, remake Gravity with dogs? Argo, with dogs trying to flee the pound? Man, the possibilities are endless! I'll so be there!"

An exact release date has also not been announced yet.

Engagement Brings Plea For Work

Dave Coulier is engaged!

The Full House star, who played comic Uncle Joey in the series, is set to wed Melissa Bring, his longtime girlfriend. They plan to get married next month in Montana, according to a source.

"Despite his success with Full House, he still hasn't found work in HTG Hollywood" stated the source. "Stamos has found plenty of work. Why not Dave? He's not even on the database! This isn't right. Not right at all."

There are so many actors, actresses and directors in the business, with new ones coming at a fast pace, that there's bound to be plenty of people not listed on the HTGmdb. That doesn't mean they're not available for HTG work.

"Give my pal Dave a chance!" concluded the source.

Actor Tapped for Bride Role

Although Hugh Laurie has been cast in the short film Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig, drawn from The Princess Bride, he will have nothing to do with a veiled role. He will portray one of a pair of men who cannot decide the ownership of a pig that has been ravishing the men's gardens.

Enter Miracle Max, to be played once more by Billy Crystal. Will his wisdom decide the proper fate of the animal?

Produced by Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Productions, the light fantasy tale will be seen in July.

"I love The Princess Bride" declared releasing Miracle Pictures head Marlowe. "I'm really looking forward to this."

It's Not Always Me?

Submitted by Brianc2008

Fans of the popular HTG TV show It's Always Me were in shock when photos of Neil Patrick Harris, who plays Dodge Casall, emerged with the actor in drag. But Harris had a very logical explanation for the photos.

"There were set photos that mysteriously vanished from location last week", explained Harris with a laugh. "The thing was that we were going to the press with those photos sometime this week before the film opened."

Harris is stretching his talents by appearing as Frank Furter in Adam Horror, a modern reboot of The Rocky Horror Show. He will be acting, singing and dancing in the musical.

"I don't know", one fan of the series exclaimed. "It's going to take a little getting used to see him in this role." But another series fan was more enthusiastic. "I got the date circled on my calendar. Having Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Laurie in the same film is going to be a real treat."

Laurie, who plays Morton Kettlebaum on It's Always Me, also appears in Adam Horror as the Professor, the narrator of the story. Adam Horror hits HTG Theaters on June 13.

Ooh! Scary!

He's in a large amount of films and does not seem to want to slow down. Yet, for some reason, actor Nicolas Cage has seen only average action in HTG Hollywood.

Last seen in 2013's DC Showcase film, the Flips have once again decided to hire Cage for the big screen.

"We're thrilled to announce that Nic will be a part of our upcoming Horror Hour flick" stated a representative from Flip Brothers Studio, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of waking up with a horse's head in bed next to him.

According to the source, Cage will portray a playful spirit that haunts a woman after buying a new home.

"It's funny and creepy at the same time" explained the rep. "It's like when the girls gym teacher hits on you in high school. Interesting, but chilling."

A fall release is planned for the new Horror Horror anthology movie. Other included stories have not been announced yet.

"I hope there are vengeful midgets in there somewhere" concluded the studio source.

It's Charrific!

After suffering a devastating computer problem earlier this year, producer and studio chief Pedro has returned with a set of films promising to delight audiences across HTG Hollywood.

This weekend presents Amyland: The Movie, featuring events at the studio featuring the city's favorite talking dog, Amy.

And, on July 11, Amyland will be releasing Dog Party. According to the logline presented on the calendar: When the owners are away, the dogs will throw a party - and take care of a human baby.....oh, and fight Ralph Macchio.

"Are you kidding me?" exclaimed a fan at a local theatre. "This thing will be wild. Totally wild. I can't imagine what kind of problems those dogs will cause. It'll be a mad party, that's for sure."

Featuring the voices of many Pedro favorites, Parker Posey returns as the voice of Amy.

"Parker in another Pedro movie?" continued the fan with a giggle. "Surprise, surprise. I think she has the Amy thing figured out by now."

Keep an eye on the release calendar and the message board to see what other Amyland films will be coming to HTG theatres soon!

At Least He Didn't Get Pied!

A man was arrested at last night's special showing of TCW 83 after allegedly jumping a barricade, running up to producer Lucian Carter, and touching the producer's face. There are conflicting reports as to whether Lucian was punched... and if he struck back. Security for the affair immediately intervened and handing the man over to HTG Police. He's expected to be charged with misdemeanor battery and wearing socks with sandals.

Lucian is said to be uninjured after the bizarre incident, but the assailant was reported to have developed a green rash on his hand.

"It's kinda like a fungus" reported an onlooker at the city jail. "Not fuzzy, but dull green nonetheless. Kinda gross."

Wrestling event TCW 83, a Horizons Picture release, opens on Friday.

Nice Hair, Dude.

HTG megaproducer-actor-ladies man Chris Harmer is denying reports that he was paid $5 million to take a picture with embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford earlier this month.

On May 5, the Another Time to Die Hard writer tweeted a photo with Ford, writing "Hanging with the may-iz. Hope he works through his problems." This week, other news sources began reporting a rumor that Harmer, a fellow Canadian to Ford, had taken a huge sum to appear with the politician. Last Friday, Harmer slammed the reports.

"Story about Robbie paying me a lot of money for a pic is not true!" declared Harmer. "Just ran into him at a Predator convention. No biggie."

Another Time to Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman, opens this Friday.

Singer Grabs Comedy Part

On the heels of hiring the female lead for the Tesla film Succubus, Miracle Pictures has joyfully announced that a supporting female character role has been filled.

"We've signed Katy Perry to play Julia," explained a staffer at MP Studios. "Julia needed to be a 'healthy' beauty. We tested Katy and she became a perfect fit."

Although a definite date has not been set, June looks promising for a release.

"The film's complete" concluded the studio worker. "We just have to get some media together and some buzz going. We're excited to see what will be coming."

Following Jade Falcon Productions' Another Time to Die Hard, Succubus is just one of a series of films promised by Miracle Pictures this Summer.

It's Been Almost a Month! Gosh!

Eva Green, best known for her role in 300: Release the Kraken, has signed on for the female lead in Succubus, Mad Scientist Film's newest production.

"Her skills and look are a boon to the movie," stated a representative of releasing Miracle Pictures Studio. "She brings what's needed to a great role."

This will be Tesla's third film with MP, following The Magician and Blood in the Suburbs. The award-winning producer is rumored to have a multiple picture deal with the deep-pocketed organization.

Succubus stars Colin Farrell as a man whose life takes a downward turn after sleeping with a life-sucking Succubus.

"It's a dark comedy, to say the least" the MP rep explained. "Colin's character is immoral and might deserve some harm, but this? You have to shake your head at him and root for him at the same time."

Succubus is slated for a June release.

Yippee If Ya Like Previews

With weeks remaining for the release of hopeful summer blockbuster Another Time to Die Hard, Miracle Pictures Studio is already involved in the website for the film. Included will be a page of teaser posters for upcoming MP movies.

"We're looking forward to a good summer," proclaimed a representative from the studio. "It should be a good year as well. We're expecting big things from the first Die Hard release. And other upcoming flicks should do well also. We're really looking forward to seeing how things turn out."

Unfortunately, MP is not releasing the names of the movies being teased.

"You'll have to wait for the movie site" the rep grinned.

Another Time to Die Hard, a Jade Falcon production of a film starring Bruce Willis as John McClane, opens on May 23.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?!!

Sometimes things work out as they should. But sometimes they don't. Such is the case with the latest nominations for HTG Awards Best Actor.

Producer/actor extraordinaire Chris Harmer is currently on the big screen in the sci-fi hit I Am Harmer. Combining action and humor in a post apocalyptic setting, the film has grossed more than 300 million dollars in 11 weeks and is on its way to bringing in more before its run ends.

So why isn't the talented star of the show nominated for a Best Actor award?

"It's clearly jealousy" commented a fan at a local theatre. "Harmer has it all... talent, looks, intelligence. Other producers are green with envy. We all know that he deserves the nom."

Perhaps the opportunity to fix this error will occur thanks to Harmer's next role, a supporting one in his upcoming Die Hard movie, Another Time to Die Hard. In this part, Harmer plays a computer expert vital to the operation key to the movie.

"It's going to be a good one," stated a Miracle Pictures rep from the studio releasing the movie. "It's new Die Hard meets classic. Some old characters are included. Some new. We're excited about the prospects."

Another Time to Die Hard, starring Bruce Willis again as Detective John McClane, opens May 23.

Movie Star AND Film Writer? No Wonder All the Ladies Love Some C&H!

After months of anticipation, Miracle Pictures Studio is thrilled to announce that the first draft of a new Die Hard film has been delivered to its offices. Penned by Heavy Metal's Chris Harmer, the movie once again features Bruce Willis as John McClane. The setting has ties to the very first film.

"We're really stoked to get through this read" a representative of the studio announced. "It's supposed to have a lot of action and that patented Willis wit."

Still early in the production phase, no release date, nor a movie title, has been set yet.

"That would explain why Marlowe was yelling 'Yippie Kai-Yay!" at the top of his lungs last night" a neighbor of the studio chief complained.

And Why Did They Ask For Extra Black Olives? Isn't Just a Little Enough?

SNL alumni Bill Hader and Andy Samberg have remained busy since they left the late-night comedy show, sometimes even appearing in the same project. So why would it be unusual to see them hanging out together near an HTG eatery?

Word has it, according to a server at the restaurant, that the two were discussing an upcoming project.

"They were, like, talking about shooting dates and scripts and stuff like that" commented a young woman who wished to remain anonymous. "I couldn't hear what they were exactly talking about, but it sounded like it was going to be something this year."

Could a movie version of a Saturday Night Live skit be in the works? Or an HTG version of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs?

The investigators at Happening will do their best to keep on top of these rumors.

Cha Cha Cha

Long-time HTG TV show It's Always Me finishes its 12th season this week. According to Miracle Pictures producer Marlowe, there will definitely be a 13th.

"Lucky number, huh. But there's still so much more story to tell. A lot of loose ends. It seems as if one is tied up and two or three are made."

The show, which features a light-hearted look at the lives of men with automated wives (Autospouses), has appeared on the same network in its entire run. But that network has had multiple names.

"I'm happy to be working with Kaitlynn and APB" commented Marlowe. "We also started a Twilight Zone series this session with her. Expect that back next time also. The season finale will be next week."

Rumors say that Marlowe may even be working on a third series to show next session.

"I can't confirm that" he answered with a grin. "I might deny it, but I can't confirm it."

It's Always Me airs on All-Points Bulletin Television on HTG TV.

Maybe If It was Raisin Bran. Everyone Loves Raisin Bran, Right?

Ryan Gosling has once again unwittingly become the Internet story of the day, this time appearing in a number of new memes titled “Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal.” Created by Vine user Ryan McHenry with clips from the actor’s films and interviews, the videos depict Gosling snubbing the breakfast spoonful over and over again.

"I made some of these last year," explained McHenry. "But I figure, with Blood in the Suburbs out in theatres now, it would be a good time to do some more."

Gosling portrays a member of the Conway family in the film, who is being threatened by a newly released convict played by Gary Oldman.

"We're really pleased with the product" commented a staff member at releasing Miracle Pictures Studio.

A Mad Scientist Films movie from Tesla, Blood in the Suburbs is now showing.

Famed Dog Seeking Publicity?

Bachelor star Juan Pablo opened up on Monday’s Good Morning America about going late night skinny dipping with Amy the dog on last week’s episode of the show. Asked whether he and Amy did anything “inappropriate” during their swim (as in, had sex), the reality star replied “No.”

Juan Pablo revealed, “At four in the morning I was watching [baseball]… and she knocked on the door, caught me off guard, and she was so excited about the whole day, you know, that… I was like, ‘Sure.’”

He explained, “And then in the morning I was like, ‘I should have said no because it wasn’t fair for the other 10 girls that were in the room.’”

A number of viewers had wondered whether Juan Pablo and Amy hooked up in the ocean, especially after he called the evening a “mistake” and she described the night as “pure bliss,” saying, “We just went for it.”

Perhaps Amy is merely looking or publicity? Her acting roles in HTG Hollywood have been thin lately. Is she preparing for a return to the big screen in a major way?

"I sure hope so" stated a movie goer at a local theatre. "More Amy means more fun, that's for sure."

I'm Getting Mighty Tired of People Putting the Empty Milk Jug Back Into the Fridge!!!

Samuel L. Jackson ripped a KTLA news anchor on Monday for confusing him with Laurence Fishburne. In the midst of a live interview, entertainment newscaster Sam Rubin asked the star about “his” Super Bowl commercial.

The problem?

Jackson didn’t star in any Super Bowl ads this year. Fishburne did, for auto maker Kia.

“We don’t all look alike!” Jackson yelled out. “There’s more than one black guy doing a commercial!”

It was extremely uncomfortable, and Rubin’s awkward laughter only made it worse.

Jackson has been featured in a number of HTG projects, including 2011's A Poop Protest as Ned Screamer. The character was a parody of the actor's frequent use of yelling in his roles.

What a coincidence.

It has not been announced if Jackson will be in any of the future Poop movies. Poop: The Third Strike, opens on March 14.

Actor in Films on Two Consecutive Weeks, Enjoys Diet Snapple and Ritz

On Friday the 14th, actor Tom Hardy will be seen in Tesla's new film, Blood in the Suburbs. A foul-mouthed womanizer, Hardy's role is less than noble.

The following week, however, sees one of the most heroic of roles taken by the actor. Hardy will play Robin Hood in Teufel's The Nefarious Sheriff of Nottingham. Directed by Kenneth Branagh, the action film is described as:

"Prince John rules England like a tyrant while his brother King Richard the Lionheart wages a righteous fight for God in the Holy Land. Discontent sweeps across the land under John's corrupt rule and brutal taxes, personified in the rise of the noble bandit Robin Hood. Prince John appoints the cruel Howard Clifton as his Sheriff to crush those that would stand against his rule and ensure the taxes continue flowing into his coffers."

Mark Strong is slated to be the title character.

"Not a Western? Cool!" exclaimed an excited movie fan.

The 21st Century Cat release will open on February 21.

Go Ahead, Save My Life

He may be the "ultimate badass," but Clint Eastwood saved a guy’s life this week.

The movie legend was at a party for the annual AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am golf tournament on Wednesday when he noticed the event’s director Steve John choking on cheese. Eastwood rushed to administer the Heimlich maneuver... and it’s a good thing he did.

“I was drinking water and eating these little appetizers, threw down a piece of cheese and it just didn’t work,” John told reporters on Friday. “I was looking at him and couldn’t breathe. He recognized it immediately and saved my life.”

Eastwood told the press of the drama, “I looked in [John's] eyes and saw that look of panic people have when they see their life passing before their eyes. It looked bad.”

“Clint came up behind me, and he knew exactly what to do,” said John. “He did the Heimlich maneuver and he lifted me right off the ground.”

The actor says he gave John “three good jolts, and that got it out.”

“Clint saved my life,” John commented. Clint Eastwood is set to star in the upcoming Poop: The Western from Miracle Pictures. No release date has yet to be set.

Film Gets Date, Actor Loses Clothing?

With Miracle Pictures Studio finally deciding which "Poop" movie to release next, it took little time for controversy to ensue. Actor Abe Vigoda, famed for his appearance in two Godfather films and three Miracle Pictures projects, has some embarrassing photos online.

"There's a site out there, won't give the name," explained a staffer at MP, "that has obviously doctored pictures of Mr. Vigoda... in the buff. C'mon! He's a fine actor, sure, but beefcake? What's the point? It's as if someone was out to get him."

Although the photos are indeed risqué, the studio continued the production with Vigoda.

"The photographs may even help the box office. Who knows. People are curious sorts."

And what of the previously reported Poop: The Western?

"It's in the can, too. We just decided to do the crime film first. Expect the other one some day" the representative concluded with a giggle.

Poop: The Third Strike will open on March 14.

Maybe Not. That Marlowe Guy CAN Be Fickle.

Is He Really Going Through With It?

Ride 'Im!

When Jim Carrey offered to relive a role from The Red Devil with Matt Lauer on the Today Show, it was assumed that he would reprise a part of the title character, which Carrey voices.

Nope.

The actor allowed the host to ride him like a horse, much to the surprise of those on the set.

The Red Devil, produced by Lucian and released by Horizon Pictures, centers on a not-so-good prince in his quest for glory.

"It's pretty good prose" a movie fan commented. "At 10 pages, it's an easy, yet entertaining read."

The Red Devil is currently in theatres.

Another Actress for Drama Film is Hired

Another member of the Blood in the Suburbs cast has been located. Therapist Anita, who counsels one of the other characters and is in a relationship with yet another, will be portrayed by Allyn Bard (Rathus). Although not a big name in the business, Allyn has been cast before in HTG Hollywood, including the classic HTG TV series Dead Heat.

"She's got a Masters in Education" a representative of Miracle Pictures Studio commented. "She seemed to be a good fit for the therapist role. Plus, she's quite attractive."

Allyn first came to the attention of HTG producer Marlowe after he saw her in short films produced by real world Utopian Productions (operated by the Flip Brothers). Was that also a help in the casting?

"Hiring someone that RS has worked with couldn't hurt, could it?" added the MP rep.

Blood in the Suburbs, a Mad Scientist film from Tesla, opens on February 14.

More Dog Movies! More Dog Movies!

It is the most successful dog-oriented franchise in all of HTG Hollywood. And soon there will be a fourth in the series.

Miracle Pictures announced today that they will be bringing Grand Theft Dog Online to the big screen in the coming months. Penned by Baseball Mogul Productions, the films parody the Grand Theft Auto video games. Full of foul language and violence, the first three movies have made hundreds of millions of dollars.

"I guess they strike the proper chord with people" explained Miracle Pictures chief Marlowe. "Don't forget the sex. Lots of that going on, too."

Will the fourth movie feature the same levels of adult features as the first three?

"Probably" Marlowe stated with a sly grin. "But I haven't seen a draft yet. We'll just have to see."

Producer Inks New Deal, Endless Little Smokies in Contract

He may be one of HTG Hollywood's longest residing producers, but it's acting that has propelled Chris Harmer to the forefront of the city's minds. After starring in the successful sci-fi flick I Am Harmer, Chris has agreed to star in another film for Miracle Pictures.

Unfortunately for the numerous Harmer fanatics, the studio isn't revealing much on the new project, other than it's based on a franchise.

"Harmer as John McClane? Wouldn't that be cool?" pondered a local movie patron. "Maybe one of the SNL properties... Jake Blues? Drunk Uncle? that Conehead fellow? The possibilities are endless!"

Miracle Pictures has promised more details when they become available.

"That could be a year from now!" concluded the movie fan. "Argh!"

Short Drama Finds Lead

Emma Watson has signed to lead the new drama You Are Not Alone by Kaitlynn of Halliwell Pictures. Watson will portray a young woman who reflects on her life as she heads for a fateful decision.

"It's exciting to hook back up with Kaitlynn" a rep from Miracle Pictures Studio stated. "We had great fun and success with Tom Graveyard. Although this new one is shorter, we feel it still makes a strong impact."

You Are Not Alone, directed by Lars von Trier, will open on February 28.

Studio Chief Threatens New Spoof, Rampaging Hamsters Leave Office

Actress Joins Film, Enjoys Breakfast Burritos With Manicurist

Actress Connie Britton has been added to the cast of Blood in the Suburbs, the new crime drama from Mad Scientist scribe Tesla. Britton will portray the faded trophy wife of an ex-convict character played by Gary Oldman.

"We're really pleased with how the film is coming together" a staffer at Miracle Pictures Studio remarked. "At just over 100 pages, Blood in the Suburbs looks like it will be another hit for Tesla."

A release date has not been set yet, but plans are for some time in February.

Oops!

In an update to a story recently posted, Ship of Fooles Productions is not releasing a sci-fi film titled Him.

"Our bad" explained a Happening staffer. "Turns out Lucian was just discussing an episode of the Plastic Man cartoon series. Things went awry from there. Sorry. Perhaps we can post something to... distract... from the mistake."

Actor Takes Turn as Criminal in New Production

After the success of The Magician, releasing studio Miracle Pictures has been anxious to work again with Mad Scientist Films producer Tesla. The studio received good news when Tesla sent a new script for their approval, titled Blood in the Suburbs.

"It's about a man, just released from prison, who seeks money owed to him by a wealthy family" commented a representative of Miracle Pictures. "Gary Oldman will be portraying the ex-convict. We're really excited about the project and can't wait to see it come to life on the big screen."

Still in the early stages of production, Miracle Pictures is hoping for a release next month.

"We'd release a Tesla movie every month if we could" the rep stated.

Stay tuned to Happening as more information on this film develops.

EIC Updates After 12 Days. 12 Days?! Egads. And no Bieber Reference?

Inspiration is all around us, including in the works of others. After seeing advertisements for the Joaquin Phoenix film Her, Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Productions came up with the idea for his new science fiction work, tentatively titled Him.

In a post apocalyptic world, a man forges a radio from scrap parts and gives it a believable artificial intelligence. He grows greatly attached to the radio, despite having various life-threatening events go on around him.

"Sci-fi is an expensive process" remarked an HTG film insider. "But, knowing Lucian, he'll figure out a way to make the new movie on the cheap."

Still in pre-production, Him has not been cast. A possible summer release has been mentioned.

"Personally," concluded the insider, "I'd devise some sort of ScarJo substitute. But that's me."

Puppy Pleases Couple, Looking for More Movie Work

The Superman actor has a new puppy. Man of Steel star Henry Cavill and mixed martial artist-turned-actress Gina Carano recently bought an adorable Akita.

"We are proud to announce the newest member of the family!” the couple announced.

But is there another reason for the purchase?

"Henry's upset that he's not getting a lot of roles" a friend explained. "He's only been on the HTG Hollywood big screens two times. He's Superman! He figured he'd be in something every month. But that hasn't come to be."

So why the puppy?

"Pedro's always making those dog movies, right? Henry figured he could have an in by getting his Akita in one of 'em. I don't know if that's going to work, but it's a plan."

Adult Movie Makes Release, Napkin Dispensers Empty Quickly

Despite protests from family groups concerned over mature subject matter, the Flip Brothers/Ship of Fooles film Becoming Joan has opened in theatres today. With a number of warnings concerning adult content, are the worries warranted?

HTG Hollywood citizens are invited to drop by their nearby showhouse to see. Reply below on how you feel the content was... too much? Okay?

Becoming Joan is a Lars von Trier movie starring Stuart Townsend and Vincent Gallo.