Money Well Spent. Now Go Buy Me a Pizza. Cha!

Utilizing a large bankroll and the opening of slots for friendly talent at his office, HTG megaproducer Pedro of Baseball Mogul has signed six celebrities as "friendly talents." As friendly talents, they can work for one-fourth of the normal asking price for that producer's films. (They remain available to any HTG producer as normal.)

After sending in a chunk of change to the Talent HQ, Pedro has received friendly status for Julianne Moore, Emily Blunt, Stephen Frears, Jason Reitman, Amy Adams and (surprise!) Parker Posey. The talents owe much of their HTG success to Pedro's films.

"I'm truly excited to be closely associated with Pedro and Baseball Mogul" declared Moore after learing of the purchase. "I just have to convince ol' Pedro now that those late dinners are just professional, if you know what I mean."

Pedro's current films include Faggots, now in theatres. Generations 3 is currently in buzz vote.

Actor Arrives at Audition with Arm Intact, Gets Job and Year's Supply of Moustache Wax

After years of auditioning for jobs in HTG Hollywood, actor Carl Weathers has finally been hired. He will have a small role in the upcoming A Poop Protest, the third in the line of films by Miracle Pictures.

"I'm Apollo Creed" grumbled Weathers, who made his transition to acting after a short professional football career. "Creed was Brando worthy. I don't see why it took so long for someone to hire me. But now I'm on my way, baby. Look for me in more roles soon. I can feel it. 2011 will be the year for Apo... I mean, Carl Weathers."

As he did in the TV series Arrested Development, Weathers will be playing a version of himself.

"He seemed right for the part" explained Miracle Pictures producer Marlowe. "I was surprised that in more than six years, no one had thought to include him in anything. I wish him the best in his future HTG career."

A Poop Protest is set to open on February 25.

Actress Finally Nabs HTG Job, Mega Mart Reports Record Sales of Drool Pads

With Session 10 coming up faster then people can sing John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith, networks are currently finalizing casts for new and returning shows. One of these shows is the new Western sci-fi comedy Sheriff Pro Tempore. The show comes from Laughing Dead (With Zinc!) Productions (New York, The Suicide Hand Guide) and was recently picked up by Rogue Net for a four episode order. The show has recently announced that James Roday and Mark Hamill will lead a cast that has a lot of new and returning talents, including Bella Thorne (Nightmare on Elm Street) and the great Fred Williamson (Dead Heat). But the question on everyone's minds is -- who would play the mysterious Loyla, an android and potential love interest to James Roday's character Gryff Pol? Well, ladies and gentleman, the question has been answered.

Sarah Shahi has officially been named as the actress who will be playing Loyla. She narrowly beat out the likes of Jordana Brewster and Jennifer Carpenter for the part. For the part, Sarah Shahi, who has been working at the Police Station under the guise as an Officer Dani Reese, will be leaving the assignment. She is the first officer in the department's history to leave the department to be a part of the regular cast for a TV show, as well as the first female officer to leave the department. Her part as Loyla also marks her first HTG role. Although she had been rumored for parts in past productions, she never was able to land an HTG role.

Sheriff Pro Tempore stars James Roday, Mark Hamill, Fred Williamson and Sarah Shahi. It is set to debut on Rogue Net this coming up session. The exact time the show will air is yet to be determined.