Trouble On the Trail of Laughs (by Teufel)

The Oregon Trail franchise was given a surprise resurrection with a new network, new producer, and an abbreviated title " Oregon Trail ." Its first episode debuted second place in a strong return to HTG TV by producer Teufel. However, despite high ratings and decent critical success, there have been some unpleasant mutterings about the game show.

"I don't like it... it's like watching gladiatorial combat or Christians being fed to lions," complained all-star critic Lucian in his review of episode one. With onscreen death and cannibalism some are questioning just how real the game show is. Since the episode aired, nothing has been heard from contestants Chocolate Dog, Mark Chua or Toran. The second episode's celebrity guest star Alex Winter hasn't been seen since the episode aired last Monday, a disturbing period of quiet for such a well-known workaholic. If " Oregon Trail " is just a game show, where have these men gone? That's the question some have been asking along with their criticisms of the show.

Devil Ray Television network head CzarTim was out in full force to try his hand at damage control. "Look, this is just a game show!" he pleaded. "I talked to Mr. Winter the other day. We laughed about it. This is silly." When pressed to explain what he would do to calm public concerns, he had a very hands-on approach. "Episode three is coming up soon. To prove this is just a lighthearted game show, I will be on it as a contestant. If it wasn't safe would I put myself in harm's way?"

It's a bold plan to assuage concerns about the series. Czar Tim will be joined by BlueOthello and Bennyman along with a secret celebrity guest. " Oregon Trail " airs at 11 PM only on DRTV.

The Hard Man Returns. I Hope He Brought Enough Gum for Everyone

A date has been set for Miracle Pictures' new crime film, Hardwick 2: Double Trouble. Featuring characters from the award-winning Hardwick, April 8 is the release date.

Bryan Bishop is returning as Jack Hardwick, a transplant to California who has become a private detective to pay the bills. Marlowe will be back as Lieutenant Mattingly, the LAPD officer who is developing a professional relationship with Hardwick.

"The story's done" producer Marlowe commented earlier. "It's actually been completed for some time. I've just got to adjust a thing here and there. HTG-ify it, if you will. I hope that it will be enjoyed as much as the first."

Further casting has yet to be announced.

Producer Opts for Celebrities Instead of New Coffee Machine, Employees Up in Arms

Since the lifting of limits on Friendly Talents for producers, Baseball Mogul operator Pedro has been snatching up directors, actors and actresses for his group of discounted talents. Paul Leyden, Nicholas Lea, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Douglas and John Waters are now friendly to Pedro's films. He may now hire these talents at a reduced rate for films that he produces. (Other producers may still hire them, but at the normal rate.)

"I'm (bleep) pleased to be (bleep) associated with (bleep) Baseball Mogul Productions" declared Samuel L. Jackson when he heard the news. Jackson, who now appears in Miracle Pictures' A Poop Protest, has had roles in the three Generations films and Are You There, God? from Baseball Mogul.

When asked if future talents are in line for FT status with Pedro, an assistant at the Production Office stated "He's got several folks in mind, but we're keeping quiet on their identities. Pedro is planning on adding to his list of favorites soon."

Pedro's next film, Scooby Doo 2, is being released by Ship of Fooles studio this Friday.

Spaceship Orbits Uranus, Gives Science Fiction Movie Fans Cheap Giggle

(click image for larger version)

There sure have been a lot of leaks in HTG Hollywood as of late. Perhaps an eager producer can open a plumbing business. (boom?)

The above image found its way to the Happ office early this morning. The anonymous provider stated that the Flip Brothers Studio sci-fi wizards are hard at work on the new project, but couldn't offer any more information.

Is this a continuation of the recent Star Trek film? Or could something new be in the works? We here at Happening are eager to see more.

"I hope they have a Vulcan in a skin-tight unitard" declared staffer Buzz. "A woman, that is, like that Topol chick. Not Leonard Nimoy. Ick."