HTG Producer to Replace Pope?

The world is buzzing with the news that Pope Benedict, religious leader for millions and millions of devoted Catholics, will be stepping down from his position this year. With that void affecting so many people, it's important that a new pontif is found.

And HTG Hollywood is home to one of the candidates.

"I hear that the Church is considering Chris Harmer to take over as Pope" stated Assistant Mayor Jay during a recent interview at City Hall. "Makes sense. He's Canadian, so he's not objectionable to anyone. But I hear he's married. Can you be married and still be the Pope? Beats me. But, way to go, snookums, if this is true. Can you imagine a My Little Pony series written by the Pope? Too bad I quit the herb. Or maybe I didn't. This is just wild, wild news, so you never know."

A message left for Mr. Harmer has yet to be replied to. Stay tuned for further information.

Cable Hack Slams Producer Over Lawsuit

Cable TV show host and verbal hack Bill Maher fired back at HTG producer Pedro on Friday, thrashing the Dead Island author over his Chihuahua paternity lawsuit. Pedro is suing Maher after the comedian jokingly promised the huge sum of money to a charity of Pedro’s choosing if he could prove that he wasn’t the offspring of a dog named Amy.

Pedro furnished a birth certificate and sued Maher for “babo of contract,” even though most observers understood the offer to be parody. In a recent interview, Maher blasted Pedro for failing to “suck it up” and take a joke. After joking that Pedro was so angry he was “flinging his feces,” Maher slammed him for treating the legal system like “a toy for rich idiots to play with.”

"I am owed the money," claimed Pedro. "If I don't get it, I'll have to write another Screech Monkeys film. Don't make me do that."

Pedro's latest film, Return to Dead Island, is currently in theatres.

February Movie Releases

By Goliathus

So fast and we are on February of year 2013. The movie industry still, isn't on full speed yet and here's hoping there are more releases in the upcoming months. For now, let's enjoy the time that we don't need to choose too much between what to watch.

February 1, 1st week of February

February begins with Bargain. The name is exactly the same as a song from British supergroup The Who? You are right, it's an adaptation. Inspired by awards, Lucian hopes to develop this into a commercial sale so reviews are always welcome. What about the details? There's already another article for that...or you can just watch the movie.

February 8, 2nd week of February

Return to Dead Island continues the story of the last film, picking up from the end of it with the remaining survivors venturing to a diffedrent part of the island. There will be new survivors played by CObie Smulders, TJ Miller, Aaron Staton and Lake Bell and let's just say not all of them are good men. There will be more zombies and also internal conflict between the group. When you do zombie films in 2010s, you really need to have more than zombies as the bar is higher now.

February 15, 3rd week of February

Valentine Week is definitely the hugest week of February. With three releases, it's a shark fight over the box office. The first entry is one that I think even actual shark will fear, The Butcher Cuts Loose continues the story of The Butcher and is supposed to be the third entry to the trilogy so expect some epic battles as The Butcher is set to fight against his former sidekick, Menace Man and also Dr.TV, who has some really evil plans in work. There are some scene re-shots but don't expect this to be less violent than the last two, it's not.

Another entry is The Measure of A Man, an arthouse war film of a newcomer that I don't think I have heard of his product company yet. Maybe he is still working underground or something but when this is up, I think he will be entering the Hollywood business for real with company name and so forth. Known as more of a "test the water" product, it is ultimately a small-scale film staring Henry Cavill and Ryan Gosling. Not the best week to test the water in my opinion but we will see how this do.

The third one marks the return of Kaven Productions, the company is pretty active in the 2009 but goes on hiatus shortly after that. It is back and its desire to deliver visual excellence to the audience is very clear. The Homecoming really suits "the return" very well, I meant the name, not sure about the content. Well, it's a drama that tells the story of a criminal that received the long-desired freedom and his attempt to adjust himself from the world that abandoned him a decade ago. He has a family and the world has evolved so much, it's pretty fair to say that he is like an "alien" in the current environment.

February 22, 4th week of February

Big Brother 2 continues the first one as the remaining contestants are trying to beat the others to become the last survivor and of course, the winner. When there's less people involved, the fights are definitely more heated and more concentrated, lots of backstabbing and politic sort of things for anyone interested in them.