It's Obvious That Bishop Sighed Because We Haven't Updated Happ for a Few Days. Sorry 'Bout That, Dude.

Attention movie goers: Ron Perlman is not dead.

A news story submitted to various HTG sources has claimed that the actor died Thursday morning after a short illness. But, according to people close to Perlman, he is alive and kicking. Fortunately for HTG Hollywood, none of the news sources published the death announcement, instead checking first on its veracity.

"I think claiming that someone is dead when he is clearly not is in extremely poor taste" stated a diner a Carne Diem Restaurant (serving nothing but meat every day).

Perlman's team will be aggressively investigating the source of the death rumor.

The next HTG big screen appearance for Ron Perlman will be as The Narrator in Random's The Stupidest Angel, opening December 31.

I'll Give Him a Movie He Can't Refuse

Three Superman movies have been released in HTG, but the most recent has been 2008's Superman: The Man of Tomorrow. With 2011 quickly approaching, will there be a 3-year gap between films for perhaps the world's greatest superhero?

If a recent teaser poster is accurate, we may soon see a film from the Superman world. Artwork for The Zodfather has cropped up at various locations around HTG Hollywood. Will the enterprising Flip Brothers be combining two heavy-hitting franchises, Superman and The Godfather?

"We cannot comment about such a project" stated a Flip Brothers Studio representative over the telephone this afternoon.

"I wouldn't put it past 'em" commented a local movie fan. "Those Flips will exploit every inch of a franchise that they can. Have you been to their pizza joint? There are Flip movie and TV posters everywhere. It's like they're trying to hypnotize ya. I keep hearing about this flipconspiracy thing. I wonder if it's more than an urban legend."

Franchise Provides New Opportunity for Studio

With many of the superhero franchises in possession of Flip Brothers Studio, a portion of the organization spends their sole time in creating opportunities for those properties. It came to little surprise to HTG film insiders when rumors began this weekend that the Flips have assigned a prolific producer to pen The Bark Knight, a Batman feature starring dogs.

Although the producer's name has not been announced yet, a hint came when actress Parker Posey was questioned on Sunday.

"Of course I'll be in it" Posey replied when asked if she has been approached about the movie.

Calls to the studio have not been returned as of press time. Who will voice the black-clad hero? What villain(s) will be used?

"I can hardly wait!" exclaimed a fan at a local theatre.

Batista as Bane? Uma Thurman as Pruscilla?

Another week has passed with hit Batman flick Blood Runs Cold in theatres. Previously it was reported that 10,000 Cases producer Bryan Bishop is looking at creating a Dark Knight-themed musical. Rumors have surfaced that the object of the musical will be pumped up villain Bane.

Calls to 10K and Flip Brothers Studio have not been returned as of this writing. Would a Bane musical see life on the big screen? On Broadway in NYC? Maybe even the HTG Coliseum?

Batman: Blood Runs Cold is currently in theatres.

Norris Becomes Ranger... That's a Fact!

Legendary Chuck Norris, who played a Texas Ranger in the hit 90s television series, has become one in real life. On Thursday, Texas governor Rick Perry named the Walker, Texas Ranger star an honorary member of the famed law enforcement group. Norris’ younger brother, Aaron, who was a stunt coordinator and producer for the show, also received the same honor at the ceremony.

Norris, who has not appeared on the HTG big screen since 2008's GI Joe film, and was seen recently on the HTG TV show The Tick, is anxious to use his new credential.

"Being a true Texas Ranger's got to get me some parts," Norris declared after the ceremony, where he roundhouse kicked the governor for taking so long to give him the honor. "A producer would be able to advertise that they have a true Ranger in their film. That's great advertising!"

Thanks

If I Were Enigma... Doo De Doo De Doo De Dah De Dah De Dah...

With the first week of Batman: Blood Runs Cold completed, executives with Flip Brothers Studio are looking for further projects to capitalize on the Caped Crusader's franchise.

"We're receiving multiple ideas" an insider at the studio explained recently. "TV shows. Films. Stage plays. The possibilities are endless."

The studio source further stated that a Batman musical isn't out of the question.

"Bryan Bishop (of 10,000 Cases Productions, who penned B: BRC) went so far as to come up with some lyrics for a Two Face musical. But, unfortunately, they just didn't hit the proper chord with us. The Riddler, on the other hand, is ripe for musical expression. We're looking into that angle right now. Who knows where that will take us."

Batman: Blood Runs Cold is currently in theatres.

For the Record, Carne Diem Dinners Are Low in Fat and Carbs. Unless You Like Fat and Carbs. Just Sayin'.

With teen detective franchise Veronica Mars back in the hands of CzarTim and Wonder Inc., a movie release date in early 2011 has been set. The big question is being muttered by numerous movie fans in HTG Hollywood: Will actress Kristen Bell be in shape in time to return to her most famous role?

"She's let herself go" a participant at a recent red carpet event commented. "I don't know what happened since she filmed Waterf*cking, but, well, she got fat."

Theories for Bell's weight gain include a lack of exercise between jobs, frequent visits to Flip Brothers Pizza, plus a love for chocolates since her relationship with former mayor Chris Harmer left her heartbroken.

"I'm sure she can get that juice sucked out by a doctor" a movie insider guessed. "At the very least, maybe some CGI on the part of Wonder. Who knows. At least we'll get to see that Veronica Mars movie that we've been waiting for."

Boom Goes the Dynamite. Or Something. Maybe It Was One of Those Really Big Plastic Bags, Filled With Air and Hit. I Don't Know.

Actor Nicholas Lea was reportedly beaten up in the restroom at a local HTG Hollywood nightclub on Saturday evening. Three men are said to have assaulted the Heartfelt performer as he was finishing his business. Although in moderately fine shape, he was taken to Ingmar Berman Memorial Hospital for treatment, then released.

Lea has been publicizing his newest film, The Bay Files. Speculation on the assaulting men's anger toward the film has not been ruled out, according to a source at the HTG Police station.

"The Bay Files is definitely an explosive issue in town," the police insider stated.

Another source, however, states that Lea has another explanation for the assault.

"He kept talking about little green men. Was he talking about aliens? Or Little Green Men, one of numerous Baseball Mogul flicks that he has appeared in? Beats me."

The Bay Files is currently in buzz vote.

Actor to Pick Up Roadside Trash Over Delivery Bill

On Friday afternoon at the HTG Courthouse, actor Wesley Snipes was ordered to surrender to authorities for community service. He has been taken into custody by officers of the HTG Police Department, under the supervision of Chief Carl Winslow.

The judge rejected a motion to review his sentence and a request for a new trial.

Back in July, the Gunz: Lost Salvation star was convicted of ordering fifty Flip Brothers pizzas to be delivered to his residence. The buys were taken, but Snipes refused to pay for them "because there wasn't enough green peppers on the supremes." His appeal has been denied.

"It's just another example of theflipconspiracy" Snipes declared as he was taken away in handcuffs.

TV Network Nabs Raptor Film (From Quantum)

TNT and Raptor Inc have struck a deal that will see Raptor Inc's smash hit 2009 thriller "A Hitchhiker's Labyrinth" making its way onto the small screen. The deal is reportedly worth 30 million dollars. Both sides are extremely happy with the proceedings and are pleased to see the film finally making its way onto TV.

"It's a real honor to be working with such a great talent," commented one TNT executive. "Raptor Inc has proven that they are a leader of providing cutting edge entertainment and we're glad to be business partners with them."

When asked to comment on the matter, Quantum, Raptor Inc CEO, gave a brief statement saying only that he was "happy to be working with a network that knows drama."

A Hitchhiker's Labyrinth was released January 9th 2009. It was directed by Kathryn Bigelow in her HTG debut. It starred Tyrese Gibson, Val Kilmer, Olga Kurylenko, and Brad William Henke. The film centered on three captive individuals trying to make there way through a hellish obstacle course in the middle of the desert. A Hitchhiker's Labryinth managed to gross $269,412,195 during its run.

Expect A Hitchhiker's Labyrinth to hit the airwaves sometime in 2011.

I Will Break You

What does a Dolph Lundgren photo have to do with current news? Not much. But it's late. I want to update Happening, but I don't have the energy to do anything serious. (As if the basis of this news source is seriousness.) Anyway...

Dolph last appeared in HTG Hollywood in 2006's The Last Vampire. 21st Century Cat's The Last Sunrise, a (sigh) vampire flick, is now in buzz. Coincidence?

Find out in an upcoming post.

Couple Part as Friends, Divvy Up ATHF DVD Collection for Coaster Use

Cupid's arrow has been plucked again, this time from the hearts of director Darren Aronofsky and actress Rachel Weisz. After nine years, the unmarried couple, who have a 4-year-old son, have separated.

Aronofsky has directed a film in HTG Hollywood since 2008's The Eighth Day of the Week. Weisz last appeared in 2009's Richard III (the all-female Shakespeare film from Baseball Mogul). Could the lack of steady work have ground the couple's interest in each other? Or was there an outside influence?

According to an insider in HTG Hollywood, Chris Harmer had nothing to do with the breakup.

"He's the first guy you figure," a source close to the former mayor commented. "But he's clean this time. He's too busy keeping away from closet-hiding hookers to mess around with anyone. At least for the moment. You never know when a lady will tickle Chris' fancy. He's like that, you know."

Will film roles crop up for Aronofsky and Weisz in the future? Only time and a busy release schedule will tell.

Producer, Actor AND Handsome? Gosh!

Notes and trivia not included on the Hardwick film site:

Ritchie Steven created the Marlowe image for the recent episode of The Hollywood Pit Presents from photos involving the producer's face and one of George Clooney. The side white hair belongs to the actor, who is a friendly talent to Marlowe. The heavy facial line on the picture's right is a duelling scar from Marlowe's days in MI6. He refuses to wear a bow tie with a tuxedo, claiming "That's what bolo ties are for." Marlowe had just made it home from the hospital when the above pic was taken (gall bladder surgery/pacreatitis).

Bryan Bishop wore a wig during his portrayal of detective Jack Hardwick to cover his short mohawk.

Director Christopher Nolan wore a "Nixon Now More Than Ever" button during filming.

Previous Miracle Pictures Studio movies that used Bishop as an actor: Americatown, White Possum Scream.

Quantum's contract required that his trailer have a vase of fresh flowers and a new bowl of tapioca pudding every morning.

Hardwick was originally composed as a bare-bones short script for real life production, without casting. It was added to slightly for HTG release.

Clive Owen was at first cast as Lt. Mattingly. He was dismissed after an episode at a Dairy Queen with a cashier and a mistake in giving back change. For a brief period, a pdf mentioning Owen was on the site (but quickly remedied).

Mattingly's first name, Larry, is in homage to Larry "The White Knight" Harper, an early MMA star from the producer's home town. Harper was killed in a car accident involving his Toyota and a Budweiser delivery truck that he was tailing too closely.

Hardwick is in HTG theatres now.

If That Picture Says Anything, I Think It Says "Blorg." Something Like That. Hey, I Didn't Know This Was a Test!

10,000 Cases producer Bryan Bishop was recently released after questioning concerning an episode at an HTG Hollywood art studio, according to a source at police headquarters.

According to initial reports, Bishop was accused of a drunken Jello sculpture episode with an underaged ice cream salesperson. When the young woman found herself locked in a linen closet, she notified the police. When they arrived, they found the terrified caller, but not her alleged assailant.

The woman identified the man not from mug shots at the station, but from a set of pictures promoting the new Miracle Pictures crime film, Hardwick.

But, thanks to a log provided by HTG Chat, Bishop was in the chatroom at the time of the possible assault.

"He was talking about Hardwick, of course," stated another HTG citizen in the chat, "but also about how cold it was outside. Something like that. He kept talking about freezing and how cool it was. I'm not sure. I'm just too psyched to see ol' Bish in another film. Can't wait to see it."

Although Bishop was told not to leave the city, the producer's lawyers felt that his private island was still a part of the city and had him choppered to his mansion immediately after leaving the police. The true identity of the alleged man involved in the incident at the art studio has yet to be determined.

Hardwick, starring Bryan Bishop and directed by Christopher Nolan, opens November 5.

Cool Stuff

The Internet's longest running Hollywood simulation/community has a new front page! (Don't worry... The old front page can be reached by clicking on "The Link.")

After hours and hours of work, Flip Brothers PJ and Ritchie have come up with a new design that not only incorporates the start of a game tour, but a new Hollywood Times as well. (Don't worry part two... Links to other news sites are to the right. Why the capitalization from The Times? Theflipconspiracy continues.)

What do you think? Like it? Love it? Check out Ritchie's post on the message board for how you can add to the site.

Left Foot Red. Ooh, the Horror!

With his creature feature titled, not ironically, Creature still fresh in theatres, new HTG resident Dartcher is already hard at work on his next film.

"I'm developing a film called Twister" the producer recently stated in HTG Chat. "Basically, it's the most disturbing things that I've ever produced from my mind while entangled in the limbs of my friends."

The franchise for the mat game has yet to be priced or purchased. Still in pre-production, insiders feel that there's a 50-50 chance that the Twister movie will be finished in time for Christmas.

Until then, Wes Craven Presents Creature can be seen in theatres now.

UPDATE: It looks like another horror flick is in the works. According to a recent comment by Dartcher: "I'm going to buy [Twister] and make it a gore film. Twister gone terribly wrong!"

Animated Robot to Appear on HTG Television News Show

The audience for the hit HTG TV series Hollywood Pit Presents should get ready to "defend the universe" as the 80s cartoon icon Voltron will be making a live action appearance on the series. Recently acquired by producer Ritchie Steven and with all of the critic talk about how the show should feature more Flip Brothers properties, they've decided to feature their newest acquisition in a big way. Expect a contest tie-in with merchandise and the network assures us this isn't a little cameo, but that Voltron will be a big part of the upcoming episode.

It's Not About the Fast-Paced Ade Industry? Hmmm

Checkmate Pictures Studio assistant and chief operator Pedro has made an interesting offer for anyone who will review their latest release, Lemon Tree.

"I'll buy Peeps for anyone who reviews it" the long-time HTG Hollywood resident declared on Thursday in HTG Chat.

"It's unprecedented" explained a local movie fan. "None of the studios have offered marshmallow treats for critiquing movies before. And outside of the Easter holiday? I hope Checkmate knows where to get its hands on a lot of 'em, because the reviews will be pouring in!"

Lemon Tree is the Terrance Malick directed Vietnam War film starring John Cusack and Cory Monteith. It is in theatres now.

That's the Worst Moose Impression That I've Ever Seen. Howdy Nonetheless

The Carson Daily is a news site that was originally founded to report normal goings on concerning HTG Hollywood. But, over time, it reformatted to concentrate on one aspect: Soundtracks.

Two times Happening reported that TCD operator Carson was missing. With no reports for months, it was assumed that he had either slipped and fallen into his pool after a drunken party, or that he had simply moved from town. But, after a whopping 11 months of no activity, The Carson Daily has popped up once more.

A soundtrack for the upcoming Bishop-etched Batman film has been listed, along with a for sale notice. Producers are invited to send in their own soundtracks for HTG projects.

"I honestly thought that he was dead" the Happening EIC stated when he heard that Carson had returned. "Good for him. I hope he sticks around, even if it's only part time."

Casting Continues for Crime Film

Miracle Pictures is fleshing out the cast for its upcoming detective flick Hardwick. Joining Bryan Bishop (in the title role) is Patrick Warburton and producer/LHF chief Quantum.

"Warburton and Q will play father and son" an MP studio rep stated this afternoon. "Warburton's doing very well playing The Tick on HTG TV. And Q's had enough HTG roles that he knows his way in front of the camera."

What was not announced is the identity of the mystery cast member.

"We're saving that information for later advertising. The actor portraying Lt. Mattingly will take people by surprise, we're sure."

Hardwick is slated for a November 5 release, the same day as the producer's birthday. A director has not been officially hired yet.

Mystery Man to Support Detective Film

Miracle Pictures has just announced its newest film. Titled Hardwick, the studio is giving mega producer/star Bryan Bishop the title role as a Los Angeles private detective.

"It's a story that I've had done for some time," explained MP head Marlowe. "I wasn't exactly sure how to present it to HTG Hollywood, but I figured now is as good of a time as any to just get it out there."

A supporting cast has not been mentioned yet. But, according to an inside source at Miracle Pictures, a surprise talent will be featured as Lt. Mattingly, the police foil to Hardwick.

"I can't mention who that will be yet," Marlowe continued. "But I think people will be surprised."

Hardwick has yet not received a release date.

Film to See TV Viewing (By Quantum)

DRTV and Raptor Inc are teaming up to bring the Ship of Fooles released The Raven to television screens this week in a special, one-time only showing of the film. The Raven was the immensely popular, experimental adaptation of the poem of the same name by Edgar Allan Poe. The film incorporated original lines of dialogue with that of the poem itself in a fusion that had critics in awe. The Raven starred Adrien Brody (TMNT: Origins), Tobin Bell (The Massacre) and Naomie Harris (The Wood: Remember Those Times) and was directed by David Fincher (Heavy Rain). During its theatrical run, The Raven managed to gross $280,356,840 dollars, becoming one of Raptor Inc's highest grossing films.

The DRTV airing of The Raven is expected to happen during week two of HTG TV.

NOTE: Article written in conjunction with the ONE TIME ONLY award, which is being used on this film.

More Talent Score Changes Glimpsed At

Back with more this and that concerning recent changes to Talent Scores.

Beyond the Horizon exited as quietly as it played. Roughly $150 million in domestic gross, everyone associated with the film, including director Terry Gilliam, was pleased with the result... but not greatly.

On the other hand, CzarTim's unlucky (small "u" intentional), winner of the recent Best Picture Yoda, performed well in theatres. Gaining $261,004,643, director McG and star Elizabeth Banks (pictured above, hubba hubba) fared well with their TS raises. But it's co-star Bruce Willis who should be happiest... his TS went from 12.749 to 14.084. Just one or two more hit films and it may be Bruno's mug we see in the top 3 actors display.

TMNT: Origins may have had an interesting ad campaign, but with just over $177 million, it didn't shake up the Talent Scores of its participants much... though raises were seen by all.

However, Wonder Inc's Witness saw more receipts with a little more than $198 million. This was good news for all except for star Will Smith. With a TS of 13.483, he would only be able to get jiggy if the movie made just over $202 million. His Talent Score dropped to 13.441. However, Al Pacino was happy enough to see his TS pass 10 for the first time with a new score of 10.922. Hoo hah!

More to come....

City Aiding Mental Health Sufferers Thanks to Donation

I knew I needed help when I began to kiss my wife and she had Mac's face.

For the last month, offices of psychiatrists in HTG Hollywood have seen an increase in a specialized mental ailment known as Lapitorizophilia... episodes of seeing someone's face on the faces of other people. In these recent cases, all but one of the patients have expressed that it is longtime HTG resident Mac the Movieguy whose face has been seen.

According to reports filed by mental health experts, the onslaught of the poster for the Ship of Fooles film Now is greatly responsible for these sightings. The poster, with Mac's face boldly presented, has been seen by many in the city.

"He just stares at you" explained one victim of the condition, who wished to remain anonymous. "And whenever you turn around, there's that poster. Mac staring at you. Hour after hour. Day after day. The city should do something about it!"

A closed door meeting with Mayor Bob Blutarsky and Assistant Mayor Jay resulted in something indeed being done about the mental ailment. The city, thanks to a generous donation from htgstore, is picking up the tab for anyone requiring treatment of Lapitorizophilia. Forms are available at any of HTG Hollywood's numerous mental health locations.

"We're going to get this tragic disease cured" an official from city hall declared. "Anyone suffering from this condition should get into treatment right away."

For the record, the one case of Lapitorizophilia that did not involve Mac's face concerned a man who complained about seeing the countenance of fellow HTG producer Pedro.

"Everywhere the patient looked, he saw Pedro's face" a local psychiatrist said. "I guess it's because every week there seems to be a new Pedro movie. The gentleman is receiving weekly treatments of shock therapy. It isn't working so far, but we'll keep at it."

A Look at Recent Talent Score Changes, Part 1

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints and Fighting may be the lion's share of Dito Montiel's real life resume, but it was enough to have Lake Hope Features allow him to direct Safron's Rookie Mistake. Thanks to the film's domestic $124,353,548 gross, Montiel's Talent Score more than doubled, from 1.000 to 2.094. None of the stars saw significant increases... but the good news is that none lowered.

The Bishop horror flick Woodwork hauled in a more significant $345,487,928. Talent from director to slot 4 were pleased with the result. The highlight was producer/actor Bryan Bishop's number 2 role in the film. His TS rose from an already healthy 13.881 to 15.948. Not only is this very high for someone added to the talent database because of the Be a Star! option, but it's high enough to place Bishop higher than number 3 overall actor Harrison Ford. Will Bishop soon be passing Tom Cruise, then Tom Hanks?

More to come....

TV at its Best, DRTV Leads Lineup With an Old Favorite

The new session of HTG Television is upon us and no one is happier than It's Always Me star Jason Segel.

"It's, like, the happiest time in my life" proclaimed the actor, who portrays husband Michael Razcynski in the series. "Working with Rashida, Neil and the gang has been a truly fun and fulfilling experience. I'm thrilled that the new season is upon us. I hope the show goes on forever!"

It's Always Me may indeed go on, if hints by producer Marlowe are true.

"I've got an overall storyline for the show that can take years to play out" the Miracle Pictures chief stated at a recent IAM press conference. "And from each arc of the storyline I can branch out into other stories. Inside I realize that the show won't last forever, but I sometimes imagine that it would."

It's Always Me, now entering its fifth season, focuses on the marriage of Michael Razcynski (Segel) and his Autospouse bride, Monica (Rashida Jones). After overcoming malfunctions, deliveries to wrong homes, a murder and an abduction scheme, what will the new season have in store for the blissful couple?

"I don't wish to reveal too much before it starts" continued Marlowe. "But I always try to keep an overhanging air of conspiracy with the show. Despite the happy times that Michael and Monica share, there's going to be something else going on. The series does have a lighter tone, so the scheme isn't so dark that they can't fix things. I hope viewers continue to enjoy what's going on."

It's Always Me will lead off the Devil Ray Television lineup this week.

RS Interviews Dartcher

In Hollywood we have a lot of producers that come and go. As time passes, fresh faces arrive and try to make their mark in the world of film and television. One such fresh face is that of Dartcher. He has only been in town for two weeks, but has already inked a deal for his debut film release and a TV series. He has an apartment and a condo, and is even establishing himself as a go to critic. I visited his new condo and was invited in to sit down and talk to him about his upcoming projects. Here is a transcript of our discussion:

RS: First off, welcome to HTG. How does it feel to be getting close to your first release?
Dartcher: Thanks! It's still over a month before Creature is released, but right now I'm pretty happy about it.

RS: Tell us about Creature? Who are you working with on it?
Dartcher: Basically I pitched the idea to Lucian. He liked it, we made a deal, I wrote he script, sent it to him, we figured out the cast and the director, advertising, etc.

RS: So it was a quick process?
Dartcher: Yeah, very smooth.

RS: Okay, the important stuff. Who is directing? Who is starring?
Dartcher: There are a lot of great stars in the film. Wes Craven will be taking the director's chair. Creature stars mainly Chris Pine, James Caan and William H. Macy. All of them are perfect for their roles (which I won't spoil).

RS: Not even a little?
Dartcher: My lips are sealed.

RS: Okay, okay. Well, what else do you have on the horizon?
Dartcher: After Creature is released, I'll be asking Lucian if he wants to team up again to remake A Nightmare on Elm Street. I do have a few ideas in the back of my mind, but that's it.

RS: I love the original Nightmare. We’ve had a few close calls with HTG remakes, but none have come together. I hear you also have a TV show in the works? What's the lowdown on it?Dartcher: The Lunch Monster, only on Rogue Net, is an animated comedy that focuses on the life of a green circle with arms, legs, and a face and his son (who looks exactly like him except smaller and with hair), who has a "big secret."

RS: How many episodes are you planning?
Dartcher: Well, I just handed in the script for the pilot to Mac yesterday. I said I want to do at least two seasons, and Mac said that we'll keep them coming as long as they don't completely suck. There are also my plans for a film adaption, but I won't get into any details.

RS: If you could work with one talent, who would it be and why?
Dartcher: Hmm, tough question. I don't really know. I like them all!

After that a call came in for the young producer. It was Lucian, the Ship of Fooles studio head. He had to go (you don’t keep your studio chief waiting), but I’m confident that I’ll be talking to Dartcher again in the future. Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to work with him also. His Creature will be released onto the public on October 15th, 2010.

You'd Think That Appearing in Award-Nominated In 3-D Would Straighten the Kid Out, Huh

Singer/actor/nearing-puberty-teen-sensation Justin Bieber was arrested this weekend outside of an HTG Hollywood eatery, according to reports at the HTG Police Station. Witnesses claim that Bieber was stopped by officers after leaving Flip Brothers Pizza for allegedly not paying for his pie.

"He kept yelling that he was a celebrity and didn't need to pay" an onlooker stated. "The guys at the pizza place disagreed. They called the cops."

Making matters worse for young Bieber, a firearm was said to have been found in his possession when confronted by the police. While not confirmed at this time, a hidden weapons charge can be a serious offense according to HTG Hollywood law.

Bieber or his representatives have not made comments concerning this incident at press time.

Justin Bieber will be appearing in Checkmate Pictures' The Cabins in the Middle of Nowhere on October 8 as T-Bo. The Baseball Mogul horror film is advertised as "After Dirk has switched his face - he continues to wreak havoc on people who come up to camp out at the cabin. However, the group discovers another cabin where Dirk had grown up and decide to throw a rager there as well- DUN DUN DUN."

Never Forget

Awards Ceremony Coming, Odds Favor Movies with Guys Who Did Those Things and Stuff Happened

The winners of the newest Golden Yodas will be announced on Sunday the 11th. An online ceremony hosted by Mac the Movieguy, accompanied by message board announcements, will be held in HTG Chat.

Of the numerous nominees, who will take home the coveted trophies? All are invited.

Good luck to all nominees.

Sh!t Gets Pulled from September (From RS)

"Sh!t My Dad Says" came close to coming out on September 24th, but has been pulled less than 3 weeks before the release date. Quantum offered us a comment on the move, "It's being pushed back, I've just been incredibly busy... I gotta work on Sport of Kings first." "Sport" is of course his new HTG:TV series, which is currently in pre-screening.

We've known for a while that the title Dad in "Sh!t My Dad Says" would be portrayed by Kurtwood Smith, who was last seen in 2009's "No Way to Treat a First Lady". The role of his son will be filled by Kieran Culkin, who hasn't been seen in HTG theaters since 2005 when he was in both "Tina's Song" and "Salvation". Rounding out the cast will be Jon Hamm, Sean Hayes, and Samaire Armstrong. The comedy is being directed by Harold Ramis, whose 2006 comedy "Cruisified" is the highest grossing comedy in HTG History. Ramis has had two films earlier this year, "A Summary Protest" and "Zombie Madness".

The movie is based on the Twitter account of the same name, which has also spawned a book. For a while it was rumored that the Internet franchise would be turned into a television series, but somewhere down the line plans changed. The estimated release date for the adaptation is now January 28th, 2011. We'll see if it hits theaters.

Nothing will be replacing "Sh!t" from Lake Hope Features on September 24th, which leaves a face off between Wonder Inc's "The Renegade" and Checkmate Picture's "Waterf***ing". Yeah, on September 24th we still have a film release with a censored title.

Apparently No Batboy Stories. Pity. Batboy Sells Papers. And No Frozen Yogurt? Sheesh!

A new HTG news source has opened. WordPunch! is the project operated by Toran and Blueothello. According to Blue, "We get shit done and it's always the truth."

Is this true? Check out WordPunch! through our links. Good luck to the two residents on their new endeavor.

Actor Nabs Role as NYC Mayor, Celebrates with Rain Dance at HTG Coliseum (TCW Event #2 There Now!)

The HTG Police Force will be losing one of their officers, James Brolin, who works under the name "Lt. Kincaid." He will be leaving the team to star as the Mayor of New York in the upcoming Lake Hope Features/Safron Productions crime saga "Close."

Close is about a group of New York City detectives who investigate the murder of Sarah Janeson, the secretary and assistant to the Mayor of New York. The body is found in the mayor's office, and all fingers are pointed at the Mayor. The detectives soon find out who the real murderer is.

Close is set for a Friday, August 27th release. Brolin co-stars with Don Cheadle, Jeremy Piven, Topher Grace and Ryan Phillipe. This film marks James Brolin's first HTG performance since Eat Shit and Die.

Syndi Buzz Begins

A new set of syndicated HTG television shows are on their way. Buzz voting has begun for a variety of series. Instructions on how to vote can be found here, along with the eligible shows. Make sure to get your vote in before September 1st.

Batman Casting Begun?

With the operators of Flip Brothers Studio occupied with personal business in the coming weeks, will Batman scribe Bryan Bishop field a Caped Crusader movie to his own liking, without their input?

Recent rumors have it that Bishop is looking for an actor to portray Bats villain Mr. Freeze. Will he choose the route of previously used Arnold Schwarzenegger? Word from the studio or Bishop has not been given, but we expect more in coming weeks.

I Bet That Bow Tie is a Clip On

With the new network television session scheduled for a September start, net chiefs and producers are scrambling to get products ready for broadcast. This is true for Miracle Pictures Productions, responsible for the writing and creative behind Devil Ray Television's returning hit It's Always Me.

"I've known for some time what we're going to do this season" Marlowe remarked during a recent lunch at Carne Diem. "I'm scrambling to get some actual writing started, though. I'd like to get a couple episodes done before we start. I tend to write as the season progresses, gauging the responses of viewers that I speak with. After everything that happened in season four, we've got to pour it on for season five. I think everyone will be happy."

A rumor has surfaced that Marlowe has employed Pee Wee Herman himself, Paul Reubens, to guest in an episode or two. When asked if this was true, and if the man-child would portray an Autospouse client or worker, Marlowe did not say.

"I'm not a big fan of spilling too many beans" he managed to answer with a grin.

It's Always Me will begin its fifth season this September on DRTV.

Sellevision Actor Wants to Work With Producer and Pauly

Jeff Goldblum is leaving Law & Order: Criminal Intent after two seasons, according to entertainment sources. His option with the show had expired. The original explanation from Goldblum’s rep was that the actor is departing due to the uncertainty around the long-running drama’s future. But a new reason has come to the surface.

"I really want to work with Pedro and Baseball Mogul Productions again" the actor stated this evening. "Working on Sellevision was great. And I hear that Pedro is doing some more Roads Masterson movies. I want in! The bad news is that I won't be able to work with my good friend Pauly Shore, who's going to be absent from the films. The good news is that there's going to be another movie, The Jizzmopper Chronicles, with Pauly returning as the Jizzmopper. Oh! I'd really really like to be a part of that."

Sellevision is currently in theatres. The next Roads Masterson film, (name removed by EIC), and The Jizzmopper Chronicles are in pre-production.

She May Not Know Wrestling, But She Sure Understands Hair Extensions

With the new surge of activity at the HTG Coliseum, one talent is more pleased than others.

"It's like Christmas already, y'all!" exclaimed Britney Spears after a recent visit to her favorite coffee shop. "You know them TCW shows? I'm the ring announcer! So for every one of them TCW shows, I get to work and get money!"

Ship of Fooles' Lucian Carter has enthusiastically marked dates at the city's largest venue for a series of TCW wrestling performances. Merchandise such as posters and HTG-rays help with the costs of the productions.

"I hope he keeps doin' them shows!" concluded an excited Spears. "These iced coffees aren't cheap, you know!"

The HTG Coliseum is currently featuring the Miss Globe 2010 Beauty Pageant, overseen by Romeitaliano and sponsored by CzarTim's Happy Funtime.

Studio Expands Lot, Gives Opportunity for Joke About Bishop

Some argue that Lake Hope Features is the most active studio in HTG Hollywood. Grabbing film projects faster than Bishop grabs chicken at a KFC buffet, LHF has acquired a respectable film library.

This weekend LHF set plans in motion to increase the number of movies in its vault with the purchase of a new stage for its lot. Studio chief Quantum made quick plans for the new stage.

"We're going to produce Close on it" the eager executive stated in HTG Chat. "We're really excited about it.'

Close is the new project by Safron. Directed by Oliver Stone and starring Don Cheadle, the plot follows New York City detectives as the investigate the murder of the Mayor's assistant... with initial evidence pointing at the city leader.

Close is scheduled for release on August 20.

Explosive News About Film Franchise

Excitement ravaged the streets of HTG Hollywood on Saturday evening when Mac the Movieguy announced that there will indeed be another Sparks movie. Tentatively titled Sparks 4, Mac plans to use a new set of talents for the original franchise. Michael Clarke Duncan and Sarah Chalke have been penned to star so far, with possibly Roman Coppola directing.

Will Sparks 4 see the same success as the smash hit Sparks: Post Mortem?

"It's a coin flip so far" guessed a local movie goer. "After all, LL Cool J carried the Sparks franchise all this time. And Mila Kunis was in that last movie. Man, is she smokin'! With new people, will it still feel like Sparks? I sure hope so!"

Sparks is in pre-production and not yet scheduled for a release date.

A Miss Globe Twofer (By Romeitaliano)

Jerry Springer and Marion Cotilard to set the stage at Miss Globe 2010

Superstar TV host Jerry Springer and the recent hit Inception actress Marion Cotilard have been selected to host Miss Globe 2010. Springer had been an acclaimed pageant host already for the Miss Universe and Miss World pageants.

At the official event, Miss Globe 2010 HTG-rays along with some posters will be sold as merchandises. A sneak peak today at the delegates reveals that they have been doing rehearsals the whole morning. Contestants are preparing for the best show possible. Romeitaliano, Miss Globe Chairman, says he wants this pageant to be one of the best quality pageants on Earth. Miss Globe 2010 delegates will tour the HTG Town this evening and again have rehearsals.

Title - A Place To Dine - Miss Globe 2010

From the start of their arrivals, the delegates of Miss Globe 2010 have enjoyed the delicious wonderful Russian cuisine at CzarTim's Happy Fun Time Restaurant. The wonderful bread, which is both delicious and cheap enough to afford, makes the delegates fall in love with the restaurant.

Men rushed to the restaurant to catch a glimpse of their favorite beauty contestants. Happy Fun Time has attracted every man in HTG Town, because women at the restaurant often entertain for them. The restaurant also sells some merchandise.

Miss Russia, who bought a map of her country, said "This map is not the same as other maps. It's unique and this may because I am in love with this restaurant."

A poster of the stunning girls at the restaurant can also be bought. Miss Italy said "If the restaurant is CzarTim's Happy Fun Time, once is not enough. It is worthy of visiting again and again."

Miss Germany said "When the pageant is over, I will come back to HTG Town just for this restaurant. Its too good. Danke, CzarTim".

The restaurant is at 80 Grant Lane in HTG Hollywood.

Say It Isn't So, Justin!

It appears that singer/actor Justin Bieber's image has taken a hit (pun intended) if a recent photo of him is to be believed. The In 3-D cast member is apparently smoking from a drug pipe. Weed? Something harder? It's not known. What is known, however, is that the clean persona of Bieber has been tarnished.

"It's a shame" stated a representative of Miracle Pictures (Productions). "We had just begun a family film with Justin, sharing an idea sprouted from talks with Lucian from Ship of Fooles. But how can we justify a family film with him after this? We're going to have to do some thinking, that's for sure."

The proposed family film, in pre-production, would star Bieber as a private detective drawn into the world of political corruption and ecological conflict.

"It's an interesting plot" the MP rep continued. "I just hope that we can get this photo situation cleaned up so that we may continue."

In 3-D, a Ship of Fooles picture, is in theatres now.

Pageant Operator Talks to HTG Luminary

An evening with Mr. Lucian talking about the prestigious Miss Globe 2010 Pageant to news reporter Romeitaliano.

RI: As an official of HTG, how do you feel about the Miss Globe 2010 Pageant taking place in HTG?

Lucian Carter: Beauty pageants have been fading in popularity for some time in North America. They seem to be a relic of a past age when women were judged solely on their appearance. Sure, there were other categories in the contests, but I've never seen an overweight competitor. I've never seen a competitor with a facial deformity. But that's real life.

In HTG a pageant is an odd duck. We don't actually see the competitors. We're left to judge them without that. So maybe it's less superficial than a real contest. But, I have to admit, it still seems odd.

RI : Miss Globe will see competitors from 50 countries. As an international pageant, do you think it could do better than just a normal beauty pageant?

Lucian Carter: I think it will draw less protests. Since it's a coliseum show, a large part of its success will hinge on how interesting the merchandise for sale is. If there's an HTG-ray made, I know I'll buy it, since I aim to have a complete collection.

RI : Miss Globe delegates have arrived and have started touring around HTG Town, so can HTG town gain more popularity than they have had, because news is stirring up about the delegates' tours?

Lucian Carter: If the pageant organizers were on the ball, they would look for a sponsor for the event. Someone to help cover the initial costs in exchange for publicity. Maybe one of the restaurants in town. I could see CzarTim's Happy Fun Time getting behind a pageant.

RI: people have their own nationalistic feelings. Are you going to support the delegate of your country?

Lucian Carter: Yeah, I'll support the Canadian delegate until she's knocked out of the running. I've only watched the real Miss Universe a few times. But, once, I saw Miss Canada win.

RI : In real life, Miss Universe pageants do very well with the TV ratings around the world, but not in the USA. However, USA ratings do well at the Miss USA Pageant. What do you think is the cause?

Lucian Carter: If you've ever watched American Olympic coverage, you know that Americans only seem interested in watching Americans compete. I've heard the athletes themselves often prefer to watch Canadian coverage to get to see a broader spectrum of competitors.

It's the same in beauty contests. In the Miss USA contest, an American is going to win. In Miss Universe they have a good chance of losing.

RI : The delegates are expressing their feelings about HTG Town and most of them love it and its movie magic. How do you feel?

Lucian Carter: I love HTG Town. I can't wait to see it from orbit.

RI: Thank you , Mr. Lucian.

Lucian Carter: Any time.

This concludes our talk.

Miss Globe 2010 News (By Romeitaliano)

Delegates of Miss Globe 2010 arrived in posh cars at the HTG Theater to experience HTG's movie magic. Most of the delegates are very happy to watch the latest blockbusters. Among the 52 delegates, 22 chose to watch Raptor Inc's The River Rocks. Another 13 delegates watched the latest film from Mac Studios, The Slayer. Monday in Mexico was watched by 10 of the young women and others watched Third Day and Treasure State. Delegates raved the films as perfect movie experiences. Every film looked best in its way.

Miss Canada said "Whether the film is good or not, we are just very excited to watch films as delegates." Miss France added "When we came to HTG, we were just normal people, but since we arrived here, everyone looks up like we're celebrities and we're so amazed and happy."

Good was followed by bad. Unfortunately, during the visit to HTG Theatre, Miss South Africa slipped and fell on the red carpet. Other delegates rushed to help her and it appeared that nothing hurt Miss South Africa. The startled contestant exclaimed "I am just too excited!"

Beam Me Up! (Thanks, Quantum)

The Hollywood Stars will be losing their star third baseman, Corbin Bernsen, who plays under the name "Roger Dorn." He will be leaving the team to star as the President in the upcoming Lake Hope Features/Baseball Mogul Productions adaptation "Little Green Men."

Little Green Men is about alien abductions. The government is behind them. They have a special branch of the government that is top secret and they choose who to abduct. The aliens are really government agents in disguise. They abduct one guy (Bruce Campbell), not once, but twice - and he becomes obsessed with alien abductions. In his obsession he nearly ruins everything for the government.

Little Green Men is set to be released on August 6th. It is based upon the novel of the same name by Christopher Buckley. This will mark Corbin Bernsen's HTG debut.

Miss Globe Contestants Arrive At HTG Malibu Airport (By Romeitaliano)

Official representatives from 52 countries arrived at HTG Malibu Airport yesterday. The delegates arrived to tour the town and to prepare for the final show on the 15th of August. The press waited at the airport for the arrival of the contestants eagerly.

A staff member at the airport said "The airport was not business as usual. It was very crowded with the press and fans."

Among the delegates, Miss Spain was the first to arrive. Miss Spain stated to the press "I am very happy to have such a big party waiting for us. HTG Town is amazing. There are many places to visit. It's like a dream come true. I hope that I get a chance to meet some big stars."

The delegates will be competing for the coveted title of Miss Globe 2010. The Miss Globe Chairman, Romeitaliano, said that this will be the most exciting pageant in HTG Town.

Platinum Universe Awards Nominations Announced (By Romeitaliano)

Platinum Universe Awards, the new film and television awards of HTG, announced its first ever nominations with Woodwork and Unlucky not missing any categories of the film awards.Unlucky,a critically successful film exceeds its expectations. As for now, the two main competitors of the awards are Woodwork and Unlucky. Woodwork, which was release by Ship of Fooles studios, is a big budget film while Unlucky was just a low budget film. If the awards favors large scale movies, then Woodwork will have a lot of good chances of winning the awards.The recent Oscar winner, Jeff Bridges was nominated for his role in The Arcadist while The proposal star, Ryan Reynolds also capture a nod himself.

Miss Globe Organizers Set Eyes On The HTG Coliseum (By Romeitaliano)

The first ever prestigious Miss Globe Pageant is rumored to be coming soon to the HTG Coliseum. The Miss Globe Pageant is to be the first ever beauty pageant to be held in HTG Hollywood. The event will include competitors from more than 50 countries. Currently, national pageants are being held around the world to choose the representative of each country. Miss Universe Organization chairman Donald Trump said to the press that Miss Globe could become Miss Universe's biggest rival. The organization is owned by Italian millionaire Harry Durban. The hosts of the show will be announced later. As of today, Miss Universe, Miss World and Miss Earth are the biggest and most prestigious beauty pageants in the world.

He Ain't No Michael Cera or Paul Rudd, But We'll Let That Slide

Usually when Jonah Hill has to read for a role, he doesn't have to go as far as he did recently for his House on Haunted Hill job. But, indeed, the comedy actor went that extra mile when Mac Studio's chief Mac the Movieguy wanted him for his remake/retool of the classic Vincent Price horror thriller (and later made with Geoffrey Rush in the lead role).

Yes, Jonah Hill got his Haunted job via Mac's production office casting couch.

Hill has the highest Talent Score of the cast, yet he's not a starring character. That honor goes to Channing Tatum. But does he think the role is worth it?

Unfortunately, Hill is not returning queries.

"I think he's probably still in the shower washing and washing and washing" a fan of the young actor stated. "I mean, wouldn't you be doing that?"

House on Haunted Hill is scheduled for an August 30 release.

Serial Killer On The Loose (By Teufel)

HTG Chief of Police Carl O. Winslow called an emergency meeting this evening to take advantage of the media's ability to help spread awareness of a serial killer on the loose.

"He has struck the HTG Chat twice tonight and we fear this won't be the end of it," Winslow began. "Lucian of Ship of Fooles is considered armed and dangerous. He is not to be underestimated. Over the years he has shown a wide ranging mastery of guns, bombs, sword fighting, sailing, armbars, ninja combat, and secret insurance agent training." Worse than the lethal knowledge is the ways they've been put to use. Chief Winslow recounted the excessive force and total mayhem that have been released in the past. "Let's not forget about the running with scissors while making knock, knock jokes." Winslow solemnly reminded us. Not only is it the carnage he can unleash that makes him dangerous, but also the mental acumen. "He's proven knowledgeable of ancient Egyptian mythology and has a knack for solving logic problems. We advise citizens to stay clear, this is a matter for the police, the Bounty Hunters Guild of HTG, and resident superhero Chris Harmer."

While the police were unwilling to share the gory details of tonight's events there were no shortage of first-hand accounts. One eyewitness recounted the chat before the first attack. "There were rainbows and little fluffy bunnies running around. People were happy and laughing. Then... then it happened..." Lucian made his presence felt, exclaiming "Cougar Town is awesome! That is all." Indeed, that was all. The rainbows disappeared, the fluffy bunnies fled. For several minutes the chat was as silent as a graveyard. A few brave souls eventually piped up, trying to kick-start conversation. But there Lucian was again, just waiting for those signs of life. "I'm also a master of pun fu." With those words the chat buckled and gave up. There were no more miracles to be had. Another witness recalled how a teary-eyed Czar Tim leapt onto the chat and started to perform CPR, screaming at it not to give up. "He was trying so hard, I just didn't have it in me to tell the poor bastard a chat doesn't have a heart or lungs and so can't actually be resuscitated through CPR. I just couldn't!"

With mounting concern HTG's Mayor Robert "Silent Bob" Blutarsky was cornered in his office but refused to comment on the story. He just kind of stood there and shrugged in response to questions. While the mayor was holding down the fort Assistant Mayor Jay was out in the field directing police activity. He made it a priority to secure the city's hospital and its supply of medicinal marijuana. "People need it for their eyes an' sh*t, right?" the assistant mayor was recorded asking a visibly displeased Chief Winslow at Ingmar Berman Memorial Hospital.

With Lucian still on the loose the authorities are advising to not go into the chat alone and to call the listed number if there are any leads on the serial chat killer's whereabouts.

Available in Battleship Gray and Neon Pink

Writing movie scripts with ease will be possible someday, according to noted physicist Stephen Hawking.

"With the Scriptotron," says Hawking, "it's possible to see the final movie production from the future before the film is even written. I know that this sounds like crackpot time travel theory, but it is not. I used to avoid discussing looking into the future, for fear of being labeled a nut. But those days are gone.

"With the remarkable device that scientists are developing, a microscopic wormhole is expanded, allowing us to view a movie from the future. After watching the film, it's simple enough to write the script for it. It's that easy."

According to Hawking, difficulties plagued the original testing of the Scriptotron. The only movies that were retrieved featured an elderly Andy Dick. But, with that and other kinks worked out, the machine may be in producer hands at any time.

"It will be a boon to the movie industry" Hawking concluded.

Sorry, Rob. None of That Herb on Our Meat. (Pow!)

Business has been booming at the new Carne Diem restaurant, introduced to the hungry residents of HTG Hollywood here on the message board. The management of the eatery proudly announced that they are the official caterers for Ship of Foole's TCW Launch Party on Thursday.

"It seems a natural match" a Carne Diem spokesman commented. "We've got these big hunks of meat battling in the squared circle. And we've got big hunks of meat here at the restaurant. Ha. I hope to see everyone at the party!"

My High School Uniform Was Like That. But I Was On the Chess Team. Go Figure. (Thanks, Quantum)

The Hollywood Stars will be losing a pitcher, Tim Robbins, who plays under the name "Nuke LaLoosh." He will be leaving the team to direct the new indie arthouse film "The River Rocks" from Raptor Inc (The Zen of Travel, In Savage Hell).

The River Rocks follows a young gangster (James Wolk) who must win a card game against his long time employer (Bryan Cranston) in order to leave the mafia underworld. Vincent Pastore, Koby Rouviere and Quantum co-star.

The River Rocks is set to be released on July 23rd and is Raptor Inc's first arthouse indie since 2009's The Zen of Travel, which is currently the highest grossing arthouse film of all time.

(Music added by EIC because he felt like it. Cha.)