A Short Round of Truth Department

It was widely reported that beloved actor Harrison Ford recently crashed a vintage World War II airplane after the engine lost power. Although he managed to steer to a rough landing on a golf course, possibly saving lives, Ford received injuries that required surgery and a hospital stay.

Or did he?

Word has been received at this news source that the airplane crash story was fabricated to save embarrassment of a group of HTG Hollywood elite.

"I was at the previous hole on the course" stated an anonymous golfer, afraid to give his name. "I saw the tractor trailer deliver the plane wreckage. That Han Solo guy and a friend of his pulled up in a limo. There was no crash. It was all some sort of scam. And not only that, but I had to wait forty minutes to play through! The hotshots in this town don't care about us little minor millionaires."

Investigation has led this news source to believe that Harrison Ford was injured on the upcoming science fiction film They Came From Planet Earth. Penned by PJ Flip and starring Sigourney Weaver, William Shatner, Michael Bolton along with Ford, the latter's character is a retired fighter pilot whose mission is to rescue the U.S. President.

According to a private source close to the production, Ford, who has been accident prone in recent years during filming, lost control of a special effects spaceship and earned the injuries credited to the golf course crash. In order to save face for him and the film studio, the false tale was concocted.

"I don't see why they went to all the effort," an employee of Happening stated. "He's Indiana Jones. We'd forgive him for a little boo boo."

They Came From Planet Earth, a Flip Brothers Studio release, is scheduled for May.

Disappointment Affects Entertainer

With the opening days of Horizon Pictures' drama Wonder Boy behind us, the amount of surprise concerning the film should be diminishing. However, patrons of the movie on Sunday were amazed when actor/singer Justin Bieber caused a scene in the theatre lobby. Apparently, Bieber was under the impression that the movie was about him.

"It's called Wonder Boy!" exclaimed Bieber. "That's my middle name! Justin Wonder Boy Bieber! How could this thing not be about me?!"

The film concerns the dishonest exploits of Barry Minkow, portrayed by Josh Hutcherson.

"C'mon, girl, I like Joshie. But when you have a movie with that title, there's only one person it can be referring to. I sing. I act. I dance. I make the little girls... I mean... I make the women go crazy. I'm the Wonder Boy. I demand that a producer make a movie about me right now!"

Bieber is rumored to be starring alongside HTG megastar Chris Harmer in an upcoming twin-based flick. Parties for neither entertainer would comment when questioned about that.

Wonder Boy, produced by Bluegrass Productions, is in theatres now.

Picture Problem Might Be Fixed, EIC Still Blames Oliver Hardy

The (now) once-a-year spectacle HTG Awards is upon us, with voting open to all HTG Hollywood residents here. A nice variety of films and related nominations are available.

However, one esteemed HTG citizen is not pleased with the selection. Acting super-diva Amy is disappointed that she did not receive a nod for any of her work in 2014.

"What do those want?" exclaimed the canine known for not only action films, but comedies. "I've given my all for my work. Where's the recognition? Maybe I should just leave the acting game and stay behind the camera. That aspect of HTG Hollywood has been rewarding. Little One can take over and I'll direct or producer or whatever."

Amy's next scheduled film is this Summer, "Hump All Night." The violent, foul-language actioneer is expected to receive the most mature rating available.

"That's how I roll" Amy concluded.

EIC Blames Conspiracy on Blog Difficulties

Operating a news source isn't always easy. That is especially true when the medium for the news isn't functioning at 100 percent.

"Stupid Blogger isn't working all the time" complained Happening's chief Marlowe at a recent meeting. "It often doesn't accept pictures any more, including those boffo title shots that I post with the news. And sometimes I go to the effort of writing something... sometimes elegant, sometimes horse hockey... and the blasted thing won't load. It's a conspiracy!"

By coincidence (or is it?), this weekend sees the opening of Horizon Pictures' Wonder Boy, directed by conspiracy believer Oliver Stone.

"I wouldn't put it past Stone to work this news problem up for publicity," continued Marlowe. "Remember JFK? Full of hackneyed fiction. This bending bullet BS won't fly with me. I don't know how, but the news will go on!"

Wonder Boy covers the illicit dealings of Barry Minkow, portrayed by Josh Hutcherson, as he swindles investors in this movie based on a true story. It opens on Friday, March 27.

"I'd ask for my own money back from Blogger.com," Marlowe commented, "but it's free. Before you know it, I'll be logging onto the site and get a dozen popup ads for blue pills. I tell ya, it's a conspiracy!"