News. Bond News. I Stirred It Just to Teach Him a Lesson.

Rumors have been circulating about the set of the new James Bond film where it was reported that Ewan McGregor was forcibly removed from the studio lot and subsequently fired late Tuesday night. The cast and crew had been filming one of the first scenes of the movie when production had to be shut down. Filming has been suspended until next week as the studio scrambles to replace McGregor.

"I've heard of method acting, but he took it a bit far," stated one crew member, who wished to remain anonymous. "He was constantly drunk, he fought everyone who looked remotely foreign, and he hit on every woman he saw." His behavior came to a head when he began to flirt with director's wife. "It was awkward for everyone on set, she was clearly into it."

Ewan was already a controversial choice for the British secret agent Fans of the series have been complaining on various message boards ever since he was announced. "Was Rowan Atkinson unavailable?" proclaimed one such virgin. Though it should be noted that appeasing fan boys has been scientifically proven to be impossible.

21st Century Cat owner, KrisGreet, made a public statement to address the situation yesterday. "I was unhappy with what I was seeing from the dailies, so we decided to change directions. I cannot comment on anything that may or may not have taken place while on set."

CzarTim, the writer of the film and owner of But Alas Pictures, has been on vacation while the controversy has taken place. When reached for comment, he began to scream into the phone, "THEY CASTED WHO? Damnit! I knew this free vacation was too good to be true!" He then proceeded to slam the receiver against the wall until connection was lost.

Rumored to be replacing McGregor is Clive Owen. Owen and the studio have been in talks since yesterday morning in an effort to resume filming at the start of next week.

The studio has confirmed that the film's release date will not change. Shatterhand will be out on July 2nd.