If Joan Jett Loves Rock 'N Roll, Why Did She Eat My Funyuns?

Justin Bieber gets hit with eggs in the first promo for an as-yet untitled Miracle Pictures film featuring the singer. Along with the video of a shirtless Bieber repeatedly getting pelted with eggs in slow-motion, Will Ferrell is revealed to be the person throwing the objects.

The reference, of course, is to the incident in which Bieber in January 2014 egged his then-neighbor’s home in Calabasas, California. The egging was caught on camera by the neighbor. Bieber eventually struck a plea deal for misdemeanor vandalism, and had to pay his former neighbor $80,000 in damages and do community service.

Bieber and Ferrell last appeared together in Poop: The Western, although they did not share scenes.

"This one won't be a Poop film" explained a representative of Miracle Pictures. "Ferrell has a larger part than the Biebs, but they enjoy the time they do spend together."

The date of the movie has yet to be determined, although Spring is rumored.

Picture Problem Temporarily Fixed, Editor Claims Gremlins Live in His Computer

Nicholas Brendon was arrested for felony grand theft and criminal mischief after refusing to pay for his expenses at HTG Hollywood's Rosevelt Hotel on Monday. The Scream 3 (Baseball Mogul) star, in town to possibly have ear surgery done, allegedly got drunk, trashed his room, fell asleep in a hotel employee’s office and refused to take care of his bill.

It has confirmed with officials with HTG Police that Brendon was arrested and charged (see his mug shot above) after damaging his room to the tune of $4 million (gosh, HTG is expensive) and racking up a $34 million food and beverage bill that he refused to pay.

Brendon was arrested last October at Flip Brothers Pizza. The actor was busted for “malicious injury to property” and resisting and obstructing officers of the law after causing a disturbance at the eatery.

"I said no green peppers!" the actor declared.

Brendon has not appeared on HTG big screens for three and a half years.

"I'll work for pizza!" he recently declared at a casting office. "Just no green peppers!"

Let's Get It On!

With yet another Poop-themed movie in theatres, has producer Marlowe decided to come up with more?

"Poop: The Western is the last one that I had written," the long-time resident of HTG Hollywood stated over a mound of BBQ brisket at Carne Diem. "But, you never know, right? Let's see if other producers step up and get content into the theatres."

Rumors have been crossing the city that Marlowe indeed does have a new Poop film in mind... an event parody. Comedian Ralphie May, who had a supporting role in Poop: Worst of the Litter, is said to have been approached to play a professional grappler.

"Me?" exclaimed the comic, who recently lost a considerable amount of weight. "I don't think so. Maybe Louie Anderson. Ask him. He was in that Litter movie with me and we all had a good time. But I'm moving on the other roles. I hear there's an award out there that would benefit a producer and studio greatly if they hired me. Juicy. I'm holding on for that."

Reports that representatives from Miracle Pictures scouting arena locations have not been verified.

Poop: The Western and Poop: Worst of the Litter are currently in theatres.

More Artwork, This Time for October Release

Choppin' Broccoli...

Justin Bieber usually does not appear in the press unless he's done something wrong. "It's the price of fame," according to one of his spokespeople. But info concerning the Biebs has arrived to this news source that is not unpleasant.

In preparation for the upcoming Miracle Pictures film Poop: The Western, the singer/actor/bad driver cooked dinner for many of the cast and crew.

"It was platypus and broccoli" explained studio chief/producer Marlowe, who attended the gathering. "Not bad. I was more than happy to give it a try, because I hear that those beasts are smug bastards."

"Just call me Chef Bieber" proclaimed Justin as he served the meal.

Bieber is a supporting character in the film, a mock western. He plays The Kid, a young gunslinger who assists a sheriff portrayed by Bruce Campbell (who was unable to attend the party due to commitments at the Malibu Sausage Appreciation Meeting held once a month at Chris Harmer's house).

"I've had the thing finished for months" Marlowe explained. "When Pedro postponed a film of his, it left the weekend open. I hate when that happens too often. So I slid this in."

"I hear Hulk Hogan rips his shirt off in this" shouted a dinner guest, apparently inebriated on Diet Shasta and tequila.

Poop: The Western opens on Friday the 19th.

Wrestler Viction of Death Hoax, Blames Netflix and Diet Fresca

TCW World Heavyweight Champion Tommy Cornell is the Internet's latest victim of a death hoax.

On Wednesday morning, #RIPTommyCornell began trending nationwide on Twitter, alarming wrestling fans. The hoax came with a fake post on another news site, claiming that he died in a “fiery car crash".

It is 100 percent NOT TRUE.

Cornell is very much still alive. The wrestler and TCW majority stockholder has yet to issue a comment concerning the distasteful news.

TCW 85, opening on September 26, will feature a Beat the Clock challenge with three matches. Whoever wins in the shortest amount of time becomes the new number one contender to Tommy Cornell's World Heavyweight Championship and will face the confident Cornell in an Inferno match at TCW Hotter than Hell (part II).

"These rumors have got to stop" declared a wrestling fan at a local gym. "Some people are just sick."

Keep an eye out for further development in this incident.

Journalistic Dry Spell Ends With Poster Tease