So He Says 'About' Oddly. Big Deal. He's Canadian, Give Him a Break, Dawg.

Perhaps aggravated by the delay of the HTG Hollywood mayor election, former city leader/actor/producer Chris Harmer allegedly assaulted current leader Megan Fox on Sunday with six feet of 1 1/2" garden hose. Details on the possible crime are still hazy, but the possible assault is only the most recent in a line of other incidents.

In March Mr. Harmer allegedly shot Miss Fox in the foot with a spear gun while snorkeling off the coast of our city -- though it was claimed to have been an accident. In July there was an alleged attack with a cream pie at one of the city's local restaurants. Although Harmer was initially charged with battery using foodstuff, Mayor Fox did not press the charges further and Harmer was released from jail.

In September, Harmer was seen filling the mayor's limo with green and blue jelly beans. Assistant Mayor R. Wilson stated that the incident was a publicity stunt "gone ridiculously wrong" and that no charges would be filed.

Telephone calls to Heavy Metal Productions today were not answered. But, according to an insider at Miracle Pictures:

"Chris is terribly frustrated that the mayor election has been postponed. He's bound to be a front runner, you know, against the incumbent Miss Fox. We're sure that any alleged 'assault' is far from that. We at Miracle Pictures hope that this does not keep people from watching A Short Protest, now in theatres and starring Mr. Harmer."

Further details on Sunday's possible incident will be reported once they are known.