Sir Mix-a-Lot is Doing the Theme, Too. Can't Go Wrong There

The future movie hits are arriving at a quick pace, thanks to prolific producer Pedro of Baseball Mogul Productions. He is planning a new film, Kimphin: A Love Story, for late in the summer.

"It's definitely a romance film" stated a representative of the producer. "Real date night stuff. A woman, played by Kim Kardashian, is rescued from drowning by a dolphin while swimming one night at near her beach home. The two hit it off. Sparks fly. You know, the whole dolphin-meets-girl thing. We're hoping to end the summer season with it, and with a bang."

The rep giggled "Sorry, pun not intended."

Kardashian has not been in an HTG film for 5 years. She appeared in Pedro's HTG: The Movie in a minor role. The dolphin is played by HTG newcomer Binky, who was discovered being frisky with Pedro's boat at the HTG Yacht Club.

Keep an eye on the release calendar for a definite date.

UPDATE: This HTG news source has just learned that the alleged film Kimphin: A Love Story may not be happening. Another source within Baseball Mogul Productions called us after the above was published.

"There seems to be some confusion," explained the new source. "Pedro did watch a video of Kim Kardashian swimming with a dolphin while he ate a bag of Cheetos and guzzled a 2-liter bottle of Mellow Yellow, but that is the extent of it. There is no planned movie as reported. Pedro is working hard on wrapping up what he already has scheduled, including Buttholes and Yes, That's a Banana in My Pocket. Sorry."

Tom Hanks Appears in Just His Shorts While Shopping?

Actor Tom Hanks recently made a dash through a store in just his underwear, according to another HTG Hollywood news source. A so-called source at the shop made the false statement.

"Mr. Hanks took some clothing into a changing room. Halfway through, he ran out, just in his briefs. Store employees tried to cover him up, but he was too elusive. He was giggling like crazy as other customers looked on."

So, Tom Hanks, one of the world's most acclaimed actors, went dashing through a store in nothing but his underwear? No one took pictures? No cell phone video? No collaborating reports?

"The story is obviously not true" stated a representative of Hanks. "Some of these news reports are criminal. Why would Mr. Hanks run through a store in just his underwear? It's ridiculous."

Tom Hanks next appears in It’s A Wild World: A Crime Saga Part One, a Flip Brothers release of Eric's Frontline production company. It opens on Friday.

"Hopefully there are no scenes in the movie with him in his underwear" commented a local movie fan.

Hut or No Hut, That is the Question

After being on the market for two days, the hut from The Princess Bride that served as a home for Miracle Max has been pulled from sale. No official reason for the sale removal has been given.

But, according to a source in the HTG Hollywood real estate business, it's because the hut has been purchased by Miracle Max himself, Billy Crystal.

"Billy has fond memories of the hut" stated the confidential source. "When they reused it in the filming of Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig, he just knew that he couldn't let it get out of his grasp. So he plopped down a large sum, even by HTG Hollywood standards. It's not his primary residence, but a place where he can go and relax. He's as happy as a pig in cold mud, pun intended."

Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig enters theatres on July 4. It features the wise man giving advice to two villagers fighting over a... that's right... pig.

Actor Talks About Terrifying Real Sex and Not-So-Bad Pretend Sex in Front of the Camera

Does art imitate life? Recently, the Succubus actor Colin Farrell opened up about the terrors of sober sex and his infamous homemade porn video. Ten years ago, Farrell starred in a sex tape with Playboy model Nicole Narain, an experience that he doesn't want to repeat.

"It was a terrible experience," he stated, or which he was offered $5 million. "It's not pretending, like Eva [Green] and I did for Succubus. It was all too real. Horrifyingly real."

Eight years ago, Farrell gave up drinking. He said that changed everything. Asked about talking to women without the aid of alcohol, he was candid.

"I worried that I wouldn't be able to talk. I hadn't uttered a sober word for fifteen years."

As for sex?

"I made love to a woman about two and a half years after I got clean. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. She was gentle, but I was just used to drunkenness and dark rooms and clubs and toilets and wherever."

In the film Succubus, Farrell portrays a supernatural detective who has sex with a succubus... and soon learns that his life has changed.

"Yeah, pretend sex isn't so bad" Farrell concluded. "Lots of people around, though. That's kinda scary."

Succubus, a movie by Tesla's Mad Scientist Films, opens Friday.

Four Ball in the Corner Pocket for Two Milk Bones

And the canine related releases keep coming!

Fresh off of Amyland: The Movie, featuring the human-voiced work of several dogs, Amyland Studios has announced their newest dog-starring production. They have declared a summer release of The Color of Amy, a remake of the 1996 drama The Color of Money starring Paul Newman and Tom Cruise. And, to keep the feel of the original, Amyland has stated that Martin Scorsese will return to direct.

Featuring dogs in most of the roles (plus one cat, if rumor is to believed), the film will cover the resurfacing of a once great pool hustling dog who takes a young pup under his guidance in the competitive world of billiards. The voice cast is yet to be announced, but Amyland regulars are expected to be included.

"Dogs playing pool?" exclaimed an excited movie viewer at a local theatre. "What will they do next, remake Gravity with dogs? Argo, with dogs trying to flee the pound? Man, the possibilities are endless! I'll so be there!"

An exact release date has also not been announced yet.

Engagement Brings Plea For Work

Dave Coulier is engaged!

The Full House star, who played comic Uncle Joey in the series, is set to wed Melissa Bring, his longtime girlfriend. They plan to get married next month in Montana, according to a source.

"Despite his success with Full House, he still hasn't found work in HTG Hollywood" stated the source. "Stamos has found plenty of work. Why not Dave? He's not even on the database! This isn't right. Not right at all."

There are so many actors, actresses and directors in the business, with new ones coming at a fast pace, that there's bound to be plenty of people not listed on the HTGmdb. That doesn't mean they're not available for HTG work.

"Give my pal Dave a chance!" concluded the source.

Actor Tapped for Bride Role

Although Hugh Laurie has been cast in the short film Miracle Max and the Coveted Pig, drawn from The Princess Bride, he will have nothing to do with a veiled role. He will portray one of a pair of men who cannot decide the ownership of a pig that has been ravishing the men's gardens.

Enter Miracle Max, to be played once more by Billy Crystal. Will his wisdom decide the proper fate of the animal?

Produced by Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Productions, the light fantasy tale will be seen in July.

"I love The Princess Bride" declared releasing Miracle Pictures head Marlowe. "I'm really looking forward to this."