Movie Star AND Film Writer? No Wonder All the Ladies Love Some C&H!

After months of anticipation, Miracle Pictures Studio is thrilled to announce that the first draft of a new Die Hard film has been delivered to its offices. Penned by Heavy Metal's Chris Harmer, the movie once again features Bruce Willis as John McClane. The setting has ties to the very first film.

"We're really stoked to get through this read" a representative of the studio announced. "It's supposed to have a lot of action and that patented Willis wit."

Still early in the production phase, no release date, nor a movie title, has been set yet.

"That would explain why Marlowe was yelling 'Yippie Kai-Yay!" at the top of his lungs last night" a neighbor of the studio chief complained.

And Why Did They Ask For Extra Black Olives? Isn't Just a Little Enough?

SNL alumni Bill Hader and Andy Samberg have remained busy since they left the late-night comedy show, sometimes even appearing in the same project. So why would it be unusual to see them hanging out together near an HTG eatery?

Word has it, according to a server at the restaurant, that the two were discussing an upcoming project.

"They were, like, talking about shooting dates and scripts and stuff like that" commented a young woman who wished to remain anonymous. "I couldn't hear what they were exactly talking about, but it sounded like it was going to be something this year."

Could a movie version of a Saturday Night Live skit be in the works? Or an HTG version of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs?

The investigators at Happening will do their best to keep on top of these rumors.

Cha Cha Cha

Long-time HTG TV show It's Always Me finishes its 12th season this week. According to Miracle Pictures producer Marlowe, there will definitely be a 13th.

"Lucky number, huh. But there's still so much more story to tell. A lot of loose ends. It seems as if one is tied up and two or three are made."

The show, which features a light-hearted look at the lives of men with automated wives (Autospouses), has appeared on the same network in its entire run. But that network has had multiple names.

"I'm happy to be working with Kaitlynn and APB" commented Marlowe. "We also started a Twilight Zone series this session with her. Expect that back next time also. The season finale will be next week."

Rumors say that Marlowe may even be working on a third series to show next session.

"I can't confirm that" he answered with a grin. "I might deny it, but I can't confirm it."

It's Always Me airs on All-Points Bulletin Television on HTG TV.

Maybe If It was Raisin Bran. Everyone Loves Raisin Bran, Right?

Ryan Gosling has once again unwittingly become the Internet story of the day, this time appearing in a number of new memes titled “Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal.” Created by Vine user Ryan McHenry with clips from the actor’s films and interviews, the videos depict Gosling snubbing the breakfast spoonful over and over again.

"I made some of these last year," explained McHenry. "But I figure, with Blood in the Suburbs out in theatres now, it would be a good time to do some more."

Gosling portrays a member of the Conway family in the film, who is being threatened by a newly released convict played by Gary Oldman.

"We're really pleased with the product" commented a staff member at releasing Miracle Pictures Studio.

A Mad Scientist Films movie from Tesla, Blood in the Suburbs is now showing.

Famed Dog Seeking Publicity?

Bachelor star Juan Pablo opened up on Monday’s Good Morning America about going late night skinny dipping with Amy the dog on last week’s episode of the show. Asked whether he and Amy did anything “inappropriate” during their swim (as in, had sex), the reality star replied “No.”

Juan Pablo revealed, “At four in the morning I was watching [baseball]… and she knocked on the door, caught me off guard, and she was so excited about the whole day, you know, that… I was like, ‘Sure.’”

He explained, “And then in the morning I was like, ‘I should have said no because it wasn’t fair for the other 10 girls that were in the room.’”

A number of viewers had wondered whether Juan Pablo and Amy hooked up in the ocean, especially after he called the evening a “mistake” and she described the night as “pure bliss,” saying, “We just went for it.”

Perhaps Amy is merely looking or publicity? Her acting roles in HTG Hollywood have been thin lately. Is she preparing for a return to the big screen in a major way?

"I sure hope so" stated a movie goer at a local theatre. "More Amy means more fun, that's for sure."

I'm Getting Mighty Tired of People Putting the Empty Milk Jug Back Into the Fridge!!!

Samuel L. Jackson ripped a KTLA news anchor on Monday for confusing him with Laurence Fishburne. In the midst of a live interview, entertainment newscaster Sam Rubin asked the star about “his” Super Bowl commercial.

The problem?

Jackson didn’t star in any Super Bowl ads this year. Fishburne did, for auto maker Kia.

“We don’t all look alike!” Jackson yelled out. “There’s more than one black guy doing a commercial!”

It was extremely uncomfortable, and Rubin’s awkward laughter only made it worse.

Jackson has been featured in a number of HTG projects, including 2011's A Poop Protest as Ned Screamer. The character was a parody of the actor's frequent use of yelling in his roles.

What a coincidence.

It has not been announced if Jackson will be in any of the future Poop movies. Poop: The Third Strike, opens on March 14.

Actor in Films on Two Consecutive Weeks, Enjoys Diet Snapple and Ritz

On Friday the 14th, actor Tom Hardy will be seen in Tesla's new film, Blood in the Suburbs. A foul-mouthed womanizer, Hardy's role is less than noble.

The following week, however, sees one of the most heroic of roles taken by the actor. Hardy will play Robin Hood in Teufel's The Nefarious Sheriff of Nottingham. Directed by Kenneth Branagh, the action film is described as:

"Prince John rules England like a tyrant while his brother King Richard the Lionheart wages a righteous fight for God in the Holy Land. Discontent sweeps across the land under John's corrupt rule and brutal taxes, personified in the rise of the noble bandit Robin Hood. Prince John appoints the cruel Howard Clifton as his Sheriff to crush those that would stand against his rule and ensure the taxes continue flowing into his coffers."

Mark Strong is slated to be the title character.

"Not a Western? Cool!" exclaimed an excited movie fan.

The 21st Century Cat release will open on February 21.