The Poop Bandit Strikes!

In recent weeks, an individual called "The Poop Bandit" has plagued HTG Hollywood with various acts of vandalism. According to Chief Carl Winslow of the HTG Police, the unknown person has used miscellaneous forms to spell out the word "poop" in different HTG Hollywood locales.

The latest is a stone spelling of the word west of the valley just off of the railroad tracks. It came to the attention of Winslow yesterday morning.

"I vow to capture this thug and halt these offensive markings of our fair city" the head officer stated. "I'm making it my top priority."

Others, however, are not so disturbed by the appearances of "poop."

"What's the big deal?" asked a citizen. "It's a harmless word. Poop. There. Nothing bad happened. Besides, why are they calling him The Poop Bandit? That implies that he is stealing something. On the contrary, he is leaving us priceless works of art. He should be rewarded, not punished."

The HTG Police ask that if anyone has information concerning this case, please contact them at the headquarters.

Movie Doesn't Meet Director's Financial Need, Settles on Extra String Cheese for Compensation

The third installment of the famed Grand Theft Dog series has left theatres. Grossing $149 million domestically, the amount is a decent number for many HTG Hollywood films. But for director Brett Ratner, it's not enough.

"That's all right" explained Ratner in a recent interview. "Sometimes that happens. I still enjoy directing all of those dogs. It's a hoot. Working with Baseball Mogul is a fun time and I look forward to doing it again."

Rumors of a new Grand Theft Dog film have surfaced. Will Ratner return to helm the show?

"We haven't decided yet" stated a representative from Miracle Pictures, the studio behind the GTD films. "It might be time to see what someone else can bring. Sure, Ratner does well getting those dogs to do what needs to be done. But who knows what would happen if, say, someone like Scorcese directed? We'll figure that out once a new production begins."

Soft Core Release Fills Gap in Schedule

With no film scheduled for January 10, would there be a second week in a row without a new release? Thanks to executives at Ship of Fooles Productions and Flip Brothers Studio, a movie, Becoming Joan, is now slated for that day.

But, according to the Society of Film Decency chapter in HTG Hollywood, the movie choice may not be a good one.

According to producer Lucian, "It's quite graphic. It's going to require a lot of editing."

Flip Brothers co-chief Ritchie Steven agrees.

"It's going to need a lot of editing, that's for sure" RS stated. "But we'll get it done."

"Why do these people think that they can cloud our theatres with smut?" asked a representative of SoFD. "First they advertise Buttholes. And now this? C'mon, where are the values that we once had? Let's get some family friendly releases out there."

Starring Stuart Townsend and Vincent Gallo, Becoming Joan is directed by Lars von Trier.

Singer-Actor Returning to HTG Big Screens?

Justin Bieber has returned to entertainment news as 2014 opens. Having been disappointed in not appearing in a late-2013 film in HTG Hollywood, Bieber reps are thrilled to announce that he is starring in a new action-romance movie tentatively titled Segway and Highway. Co-starring one-time girlfriend Selena Gomez, the duo were seen this afternoon filming a chase seen in the HTG Valley.

"It's a film with everything," explained a staff member of Bieber. "Chases, dancing, singing, you name it!"

When asked who the producer and releasing studio are, the rep remained cryptic.

"That's a closely guarded secret. You'll just have to wait and see!"

Stay tuned to Happening as this story develops.

Fantasy Film to Include Late Actor

Sirs Patrick Stewart And Ian McKellen are working together on two plays in New York City. They’ve been consistently using Twitter with their delightful photos taken around town. We've seen them being "homies" forever, meeting Elmo and celebrating Christmas. Now they're celebrating the arrival of 2014.

January will also see McKellen's appearance in the fantasy film The Red Devil. Directed by Peter Jackson, the movie stars the late Heath Ledger, thanks to some computer-generated imagery.

Also featured are Brad Pitt, Jim Carrey, Emma Stone and Ron Howard. The Ship of Fooles production opens on the 17th.

Research into the Brain and Film Advertising Begins

Researchers from Notre Dame conducted an experiment and discovered that doorways might play into how our brain stores memories. They separated people into two groups, traveling the same distance. One group passed through a doorway, the other didn't. The ones that had to walk past a doorway were three times more likely to forget their task.

The researchers think this is because doorways are "event boundaries."

Decisions made in one room are remembered and stored "in that room" and it's more likely to forget them once you're not in it.

Now researchers are looking into how this affects movie advertising. Sometimes movies get scheduled for release, but they must be reminded by HTG administration that certain things must be done for that release to occur. Also, some movies go through their buzz vote week without a single advertisement.

"It's crazy" commented a local film fan. "Why spend millions and all of that time on a movie and not advertise it at all? Heck, some of these films give no indication whatsoever what they about. It's like the movie was posted on the calendar, then the studio left the room. Crazy."

Hubba Hubba and All That

Best known in HTG Hollywood for her role in the television series Sparks, Carla Gugino has found her first film role in 3 1/2 years. Appearing in I Am Harmer, Gugino is slated as "Mystery Woman."

"We never get around to her real name" explained Marlowe during a recent interview. "Her position in the film is more important. Why is she in the abandoned city? Does she wish our hero, Chris Harmer, any ill? Besides, she looks mighty sharp in a knit top."

Also featured in the movie are Seth Rogen and Minka Kelly.

"The cast is small" Marlowe added. "There wasn't much need for more actors."

The Miracle Pictures release is directed by Steven Spielberg, himself working after a dry spell.

I Am Harmer opens on Friday the 27th.