Will Actress Return for Film?

With the sixth installment of Baseball Mogul's Serial Killing for Dummies coming in May, fans of the series have an important question... Will Parker Posey return?

"Why else watch the thing?" stated an excited movie goer after a visit to a local theatre.

Miss Posey was recently questioned about the upcoming movie while exiting Mega Mart. The actress avoided answering, however, and quickly hopped into a nearby vehicle.

Unfortunately, Miss Posey entered the wrong vehicle. Apparently the SUV that she was looking for was a short distance away. Fortunately, the driver of the vehicle was thrilled to have the actress aboard.

"She was scared at first, I think," stated the owner of the late model Toyota Hybrid. "But I assured her that everything was all right. We ate some Red Vines and listened to some tunes until the offending reporter went away. She quickly jumped out and went to her own SUV. But she left her shopping bags on the floor. Sweet score for me! Of course, if she wants the Adam West action figure back, she can contact me."

Questions concerning the casting toward Amyland Studios were replied with a "cha" and "coco chacoco."

Serial Killing for Dummies 6 opens on May 17.

TCW Total Mayhem 2 Releases Soundtrack

By Lucian Carter

TCW is at it again with a brand new soundtrack for the action-packed TCW Total Mayhem 2.

Seven songs are featured on the CD:

Limp Bizkit- Head for the Barricade – Theme to Total Mayhem 2

Pacific Islander Song - The Samoan Wildboyz

Pirates of the Caribbean Theme – Hugh de Aske

Cool – Carlito Colon

Rattlesnake – Promise – Dan Paysan

Big Bossman – The Bossholes

Hollywood – The Rock

Also included is a secret bonus track for the mystery entrant for the Total Mayhem 2. Total Mayhem 2 is in theatres now!

Actress Visits Toy Store With Sons

Angelina Jolie took her sons Pax and Knox to the Mega Mart's toy store this weekend. The boys were entranced by the many offerings, but ended up leaving the location without any purchases.

"No Amy action figures?!" declared Jolie. "The boys were severely disappointed. Sure, there was a Parker Posey figure here, a Mark Addy play set there, but no Amy. Why open a toy store if you're not going to sell something covering the industry's number one violent lesbian dog? It's absurd."

Toy store management promised to look into obtaining some Amy toys in the near future.

The release date for Amy's next feature is not yet known.

A Break From What?

Carrot Top is set to step back from his busy schedule as a leading man in HTG films. In a new interview with this news source, the red-headed comic actor reveals that he plans to take a break.

“I’ve been doing it too much,” Carrot Top said of acting. “I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing. I think it’s good for me to take a break and reassess why I’m doing it and how I’m doing it. And I think this is probably a good way to learn about that.”

He adds, “I need a break from myself as much as I imagine the audience does. There’s a lot of pressure to be the lead of a film."

Although, upon examining the HTGmdb, the actor has not appeared in anything with HTG since 2011's Poop Protest, Carrot Top is trying to keep a good perspective. And while the star may indeed take a brief hiatus from acting, his motivation seems to be a desire to make smart choices as his career escalates.

“The more opportunities I’m given, the more I learn about how easy it is to (expletive) it up,” he tells Happening. “You fight for freedom and then you get it, and then you have enough rope to hang yourself. It’s like trying to exercise some restraint because I do have so much freedom.”

In the mean time, those who miss Carrot Top can visit him at his second job, manager of the Sweet Forever Suites.

"It's better than staring at congested traffic" he concluded.

Chat Server Crashes, Terrorists Suspected

It's an event straight from a film, or almost.

On Sunday afternoon, HTG Chat saw a flurry of quotes from the action blockbuster Die Hard. Including well-known phrases such as "Now I have a machine gun, too, ho-ho-ho" and "The quarterback is toast," the exchange of quotes also included lesser-known ones such as "I prefer strawberry jam, thank you" and "Is that a machine gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?".

The quotefest was cut short, however, when a chat member with the name hgindahouse24 declared "Enough is enough!" Chat screens across HTG Hollywood went offline. Fortunately, chat was restored shortly after. When returning chatters asked what happened, someone with the handle johnnysavesthedayagain said "ur welcome" and signed off.

What was the cause of the chat termination. Is the abundance of Die Hard quotes leading to something more?

"I think the flipconspiracy may be back!" announced a chatter who wished to remain anonymous.

All residents are invited to come to HTG Chat today to participate in the newest HTG Awards. Who will take home the Golden Yodas?

HTG Producer to Replace Pope?

The world is buzzing with the news that Pope Benedict, religious leader for millions and millions of devoted Catholics, will be stepping down from his position this year. With that void affecting so many people, it's important that a new pontif is found.

And HTG Hollywood is home to one of the candidates.

"I hear that the Church is considering Chris Harmer to take over as Pope" stated Assistant Mayor Jay during a recent interview at City Hall. "Makes sense. He's Canadian, so he's not objectionable to anyone. But I hear he's married. Can you be married and still be the Pope? Beats me. But, way to go, snookums, if this is true. Can you imagine a My Little Pony series written by the Pope? Too bad I quit the herb. Or maybe I didn't. This is just wild, wild news, so you never know."

A message left for Mr. Harmer has yet to be replied to. Stay tuned for further information.

Cable Hack Slams Producer Over Lawsuit

Cable TV show host and verbal hack Bill Maher fired back at HTG producer Pedro on Friday, thrashing the Dead Island author over his Chihuahua paternity lawsuit. Pedro is suing Maher after the comedian jokingly promised the huge sum of money to a charity of Pedro’s choosing if he could prove that he wasn’t the offspring of a dog named Amy.

Pedro furnished a birth certificate and sued Maher for “babo of contract,” even though most observers understood the offer to be parody. In a recent interview, Maher blasted Pedro for failing to “suck it up” and take a joke. After joking that Pedro was so angry he was “flinging his feces,” Maher slammed him for treating the legal system like “a toy for rich idiots to play with.”

"I am owed the money," claimed Pedro. "If I don't get it, I'll have to write another Screech Monkeys film. Don't make me do that."

Pedro's latest film, Return to Dead Island, is currently in theatres.