July is Heating Up the HTG Theaters! (By Brianc2008)

Disclosure: I did the website for The Damned Are United.

With a whopping 13 movies coming to theaters this month, HTG producers are keeping their fingers crossed that they have the next huge hit on their hands. Let's check out each of these film:

July 6

Toy Story: World Tour is the latest animation film from AmyLand Studios and unbb24. It is about the adventures of the toys as they travel, well, across the world sometime between films 2 and 3 in the Toy Story series. The film stars Wallace Shawn, Tony Shalhoub, Tom Hanks, and Joan Cusack. Brad Bird is the director.

Nothing Left to Lose comes out from 21st Century Cat Pictures and is being produced by the prolific Kaitlynn. It has to do with the dramatic trials that an all girl band goes through when its secrets come out in the open. This drama stars Rutina Wesley, Felicia Day, Yaya Decosta, and Sarah Polley. It is directed by Ryan Murphy.

July 13

The Method is produced by Dark Horse. This is the follow up to his interesting debut as Lake Hope Films and Ship of Fooles Film Studio co-release it. Apparently recovered from the archives is an Elia Kazan film starring Montgomery Clift, Marlon Brando, and James Dean as three actors who meet at a party and have revelations about their careers and future.

Scream 6 is Pedro's last film in the Scream series. In this horror film, they revisit the community of Ocean View and find someone has taken the persona of Ghostface and is killing its residents. It stars Kristen Connolly, Elle Fanning, Jennifer Carpenter, and James Franco. It is released by AmyLand Studios and directed by Patrick Lussier.

Dance of the Vampires is JohnLennono's debut film which is being released by Wonder Inc. The rock musical is based on Roman Polanski's Fearless Vampire Killers and is scored by Jim Steinman, the guy behind Total Eclipse of the Heart and I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That). It stars Daniel Radcliffe, Billy Crystal, Carol Kane, and Emmy Rossum. Roman Polanski is directing this one.

July 20

The Damned are United has been described by Toran as an R-rated Star Wars. The Lake Hope Films release is about a band of humans who travel through a futuristic wasteland to assassinate a selfish king. If they don't succeed, aliens will destroy mankind. It stars Chris Hemsworth, Christoph Waltz, Bruce Campbell and Vin Diesel and is directed by Guillermo Del Toro.

Serial Killing for Dummies 4 is Pedro's latest in the horror series. It stars Michael Rady as serial killer Kevin Harkan. He's assisted by Sarah Jessica Parker, Spencer Locke, and AmyLand favorite Parker Posey.

Angry Birds: Revenge of the King is Dartcher's sequel to the popular animated film about the addictive video game. 21st Century Cat is releasing this film which is promising that the pigs are out for revenge on the birds. Presumably this will star Shia LaBeouf, Christian Bale, and Jane Lynch, among others.

One Week is an Independent Release by Bennyman. The drama concerns couple Aubrey Plaza and Jesse Eisenberg who go home to his parent's home for the weekend where past mistakes and present secrets could lead to a stormy future. It co-stars Cirian Hinds and Kathy Bates with Noah Baumbach directing.

July 27

Duke Nukem is an action film based on the video game series. Toran is releasing this under his I'm An Astronaut Films studio. Presumably, Duke will save the world, down some brews, and get the girls like he does in the game.

Unity is an arthouse drama about Unity Milford, a British society woman who ends up in the inner circles of Adolf Hitler. Catalyst Studios is releasing this Random FX Productions film that stars Carey Mulligan, Dominic West, Liam Neeson, and Michael Fassbinder.

All Fall Down is an AmyLand Studio release of Dark Horse's film. The crime story stars Christian Bale, Rachel McAdams, Joaquin Phoenix, and Michelle Williams and is being directed by Michael Mann.

The Apartment is, I'm guessing, a stoner comedy starring Sterling Knight and Liam Hemsworth as two guys who find a great apartment, only to discover that there's a catch. I do know that Lucian is behind this one and that it is being released by Ship of Fooles Films.

Former Mayor Expecting

It's official. Former mayor of HTG Hollywood, Megan Fox, is pregnant.  A source close to the actress and her husband, Brian Austi Green, confirmed the news to Happening this afternnon. Speculation that Fox is expecting has swirled for several weeks. We’ve bee told she’s due at the end of the summer.

Green already has a 10-year-old son with ex-wife and hottie Vanessa Marcil. He and Fox wed in Hawaii in 2010.

The question remains, however... Didn't Fox resign as city head because of a pregnancy last year? The actress was sporting a rather large belly bump. What became of that child? Was it sold to Nike to appear in a number of tennis shoe ads? Does it have a part-time job at Flip Brothers Pizza?

Only Fox can tell us for sure, and she ain't telling.

Business Mogul Salutes Pedro and Pet

Donald Trump is a well-known fan of Baseball Mogul Productions. He's especially proud of what happened to an overly eager reporter who tried to kiss BMP head Pedro last week at a red carpet event. When the newsman got too close to HTG Hollywood's most prolific writer, Pedro's dog Amy leaped to action and bit the would-be kisser.

"I wish other producers would bring their dogs to events!" declared Trump. "Not just dogs, but bears and lions. Whatever. Pushy reporters would get theirs!'

Pedro's newest film, Drugged, opens this Friday.

Fox Scores Broadcast Rights To 7-Year-Old Film (By Teufel)

The Fox Network announced this morning that it had secured the broadcast rights to “Templars of Steel,” a fantasy film released in 2005 by the now defunct Alexander Corporation and produced by Decepticon Liberation Front. Fox chairman Steven Rylance was available for a brief comment, laying out his vision. “With 'Game of Thrones' so popular, I figured we could release literally anything and people would gobble it up. They're stupid and will just be like ooooh, fantasy, me watch!” He had a hearty chuckle before straightening his tie, apparently unaware that there were no cameras. “So, when does the interview start?” he asked me with an ignorant grin.

Some industry watchers were a bit baffled as Decepticon Liberation Front is run by Teufel, one of the network heads of HTG's very own Devil Ray Television . “Tim wasn't willing to fork over enough money,” was Teufel's explanation, referring to co-network head CzarTim. When asked if this was a sign of a rift in the leadership of DRTV, Teufel assured me rumors of him plotting Tim's death were complete works of fiction. When it was pointed out no one had mentioned anything remotely like that Teufel mumbled something about a previous engagement and then went and hid in the bathroom of his own office.

Are We Protected? (From Lucian)

Word has come out today that yet another of the on duty soldiers at the HTG Armory is leaving. Barry Pepper, whose last film was 2006’s“Eleven”, is moving on take a role in Aurora Films’ new arthouse thriller “Genesis”. As most of you know, when people leave the armory, there is no budget to replace them. Slowly, but surely, our defenses are fading. Just offshore lies the island of Bryan Bishop, secret headquarters to a legion of some of the nastiest villains in history. How can we hope to protect ourselves if our defences continue to weaken? I’m calling on all HTG citizens to donate to the armory to allow for additional forces to be recruited. And don’t assume it will never actually happen. Several city sites have undergone revamps lately.

"Genesis" is a religious thriller which also stars Ben Kingsley and John Krasinski. It is directed by Barry Levinson. Despite only being added to the calendar today, it opens February 10.

Producer Finishes New Film

(Note from the editor: Bishop wanted the following video to be included, but I am unable to post it. So here’s the link… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8Ttbzqdns )

He is the most decorated, and some say most opinionated, producer in HTG. He’s Bryan Bishop and he’s got a story to share.

Lucian: Hello Bishop. I understand you recently completed a film.

Bishop: Yep. "Speak Like a Child." Pretentious title aside, I'm excited for its release.

Lucian: Let's start with the basics, what genre is the film?

Bishop: Probably a mystery at its heart, but I also like to think of it as a character drama as well. Maybe a mix of "Lonestar" and "Blue Valentine" for the genre.

Lucian: Has casting been completed?

Bishop: It has. I'm re-uniting with Casey Affleck. Ellen Wong, Robert Duvall, Cillian Murphy, and Sean Astin are currently expected to be signed, with Bill Condon directing.

Lucian: When you first cast Casey Affleck as Batman did you ever expect him to become the megastar he has?

Bishop: When we first cast him I pretty much hid under my desk, since that's one of those really uncastable parts. I'm glad to see his success. He's always impressed the hell out of me. He's great, especially considering he's Ed Burn's younger brother.

Lucian: Does "Speak Like a Child" tie in to any of your past works?

Bishop: It does. Pemberton-Brantt is a running joke in a lot of my old works; it was going to be the company that bought out Ingen in my Jurassic Park pitch in 2004, and I think it was in Splinter-Cell 3. It's my go-to name for a faceless corporation. But beyond that, Myra from Wild Horses comes back. She's a lot different in this movie. The events of Wild Horses affected her hard, and if she hasn't hit Rock Bottom yet, she's at least gearing up for the punch. Another character may or may not be connected to another Wild Horses character. But Wild Horses is not required reading to enjoy "Speak," and Myra's part is small.

Lucian: You've always been proud of your work; but you seem particularly proud here. Why?

Bishop: It's a more mature work, and I think more meaningful. For once all the shooting and pop culture references give way to real people with real problems. Plus any time you put together a mystery that's actually mysterious... it's the second-hardest thing to write behind PG comedy.

Lucian: Predict the future: Will you win Best Producer at the next Yodas?

Bishop: Like this coming Yodas, going up against Sandman and the like? Oh hell no. But I'd like a nomination. I think Romcom and Wild Horses deserve that. Plus, I wrote a movie called Fart Dogs and Kevin James died in it.

Lucian: Why not? You put out 4 well received films this season.

Bishop: Thanks. If I win it, it'll be a huge honor. But the competition is great this year.

Lucian: You also just picked up a lot of Sully nominations. Based on your work with DC Comics you could win Best Producer there too. What can you tell us about the future of Batman: Nightside?

Bishop: Nightside is done, unless the Flips want to keep that title. The new series should just be "Batman: The Animated Series." It'll consist of six one-shot episodes next season, where I get to spend some time with more obscure characters. I already am planning the season finale, which I think will be one of my better yarns.

Lucian: Recently some voices have called for you to return to and finish your old series, The Policeman. Is there any chance of that actually happening?

Bishop: If the call gets loud enough. I know a player mentioned he was going to try to read the whole series and review each episode. That kind of commitment to The Policeman, I'll match by finishing it.

Lucian: Rapid fire - Boxers or briefs?

Bishop: Boxer-briefs. All the containment of briefs without looking like a diaper.

Lucian: Raisin Bran or Rice Krispies?

Bishop: Pass.

Lucian: Ron Paul or Rick Santorum?

Bishop: That's like asking Abbot or Costello. Pass.

Lucian: It kind of defeats the purpose if you pass. But I'll try one more. A Pedro dog movie or The View?

Bishop: A Pedro dog movie, but only if it's a feature-length version of Fart Dogs.

Lucian: Lastly, how do you respond to rumors that you are actually Joseph Conrad's lovechild?

Bishop: The same way I responded to those rumors I was schtupping Tara Reid. A knowing smile.

Lucian: Thank you for your time.

Bishop: Like a dime.

“Speak Like a Child” has not been added to the release calendar.

(Another editor's note, from the guy who happens to also be the studio chief behind SLaC... It will appear in the second half of February, some time after the exciting new The X-Files: The Willmore File.)

That's a Lot of Toys!

"Twilight action figures? Not while I work here!" declared an employee of the Mega Mart's toy store during a recent visit to the Happ office.

On the other hand, there are a lot of different toys to be had at the location. According to the staffer, Aurora's Dartcher recently spent more than 200 million smackers on an action figure collection, not counting the storage space.

"I stopped counting at 40 figures. I think he's covered for now. Maybe he'll have people visit him at his mansion over in Malibu to show 'em off. I don't have a house there, so don't expect me to drop by soon."

Action figures add advertising budget for films released in HTG Hollywood. Initial advertising is very important for a movie's domestic gross. Residents are invited to drop by Mega Mart to browse their toy selection.