To Boldly Buy What a Couple Other Guys Have Bought Before

After a brief frenzy of late night bidding, Miracle Pictures has become the new owner of Star Trek, once owned by Pedro of Baseball Mogul, for a respectable 420 million dollars. After paying 1.3 billion dollars for a Marvel Comics package, will MP chief Marlowe find use of the properties?

"Marlowe already has an offer for a Star Trek project" a representative from the long-time resident's studio explained. "He's open for pitches from his other franchises, studio and personal, as well. Marlowe has ideas for most of his assets, but doesn't have all of the time necessary to get them to fruition. And, to tell you the truth, Marlowe just plain enjoys owning some of the franchises. With Star Trek now in the group, the value of his holdings is quite envious."

"Indeed" was the only response given by Marlowe when questioned about the auction.

That Wizard Kid is In a Movie Without Magic (Sent In By CT. Thanks!)

Out May 20th

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Hayley Atwell, Andrew Garfield, Amber Heard, Emile Hirsch, David Denman, Lyndsy Fonseca and Richard Dreyfuss.

Directed by Ryan Fleck

Character Profile - Scott Ellis (Daniel Radcliffe)

Looming darkness overshadows the future. Doesn’t matter how long ago those storms passed, every step is a reminder of the tears. Tears lasted longer than they should. Overstayed their welcome. Long after there was nothing left to give, they took more. Leeching off the pleasantness. Cackling laughter as composure melts away.

Keep your apologies to yourself. There was a time when they seemed to be the only solution to a complexity too gruesome for gentle souls. And still the words ricochet off walls in a symphony of victory. Statues fall, flags are raised, the kiss shared with a stranger. But those echoes will fade soon enough. Realization sets in. Dust settles. The words of poets don’t turn back time. Damage was done. Your apology too late.

Whatever is going to happen next is of no concern to the shadows that follow me around. We’re getting out before someone adds insult to injury. I've seen the faces before; they contort with a shallow embarrassment that does little to comfort anyone but their own guilt. Typical. But the shadows remind me that I would do the same, maybe even less. The cards just happen to come out against me this time. Seems all too familiar. Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead.

HAVE WE SEEN THE LAST OF HIM? JohnLennono: The HTG Hollywood Enigma Returns (By JL)

Many things have been said in HTG Hollywood about JohnLennono. Allegedly a Knight of the British Realm, though the paperwork has never been uncovered, JohnLennono is a man of many other faces as well: Barrister. Financier. Adventurer. His biggest sideline was leasing planes to celebrities, who called him "Chopper John." But most recently, he attempted to make his mark in the world of entertainment; apparently he felt the best way to do so was to hit the scene like an atomic bomb.

Much accustomed to getting his way, JohnLennono quickly started a buzz around Hollywood with actions that some perceived to be arrogant and others dismissed as the pure poppycock of an inexperienced amateur. Says one unnamed source, "He was widely regarded as an [expletive deleted], trying to buck system trends to suit his agenda. He had this idea for a TV series. And you know what, it wasn't half-bad. But he makes the pitch, and then tries to fob off the writing on someone else! It's simply not done that way here! He has to prove himself as a producer."

J.L. (to his friends) himself could only say at the time that this was not his world. His world was banking and finance. He was an independent customer with a taste for the old razzle-dazzle, or so he claimed. Indeed, he sure didn't look the showbiz type, a baby-face guy with pretty little features, blond curls, and little round glasses, who wore sloppy linen blazers like a Harvard lawyer.

His next antics bore out the theory that he knew nothing of how things are run in this town, as he attempted to jump-start his career by trying to take over the assets of defunct studios and television networks around town. As another reliable source put it, "He's a banker, he's used to acquisition. It's how many beanies the other kid has over everyone else, so he thought buying up a library of proven pictures couldn't go wrong, perhaps even hoping to turn a few sentimental favorites that were commercial flops into hits via re-branding, re-editing, new advertising, re-release, etc. It's not like it's something nobody around here has thought of before."

But at the end of the day, this, too, proved futile. "Buying syndication rights to a dead TV sitcom produced by a dead network, or putting up money for rights to a defunct studio's film properties, is apparently going to hurt somebody even if they don't work in this town anymore," JohnLennono allegedly groused at the time. Others say J.L. might have been able to push this acquisition idea further if he'd thought it out better and actually had projects under his belt. A former employee of JohnLennono also claimed his intent was not necessarily in the best interests of the films, but rooted in name brand recognition. "As he outlined it," says the employee, "his idea was to take over the assets of a dead studio, preferably one with major hits that everyone still remembered, and begin running it as his own entity, to the extent of sticking the studio's name on his own product to potentially open doors that would not otherwise be opened were it not for the closed studio's good name." J.L. declined comment.

Finally, a production deal was arranged with Lucian Carter's Ship of Fooles. J.L. reportedly found Lucian to be a kindred spirit on many levels. When asked for comment, Lucian had this to say: "The film business was apparently just a sideline for this guy. He would tell these stories about flying to Libya with a load of automatic weapons. Or landing in a field in Spain with no one around and just emptying the plane -- dropping the goods in the middle of a field in some old prop plane and taking off. They were entertaining adventure stories, and I hadn't a clue if they were true, but they sure were enough to pique my interest. He was clearly a very shrewd guy." As another source at SoF put it, "You could tell he was a smart guy, but once he came on board strange things started to happen."

A slate of two J.L.-run projects was announced: Jesus Christ Superstar, based on the world-famous Andrew Lloyd Webber musical extravaganza, and Vampire Killers, a cinematic adaptation of the hit German rock opera Tanz der Vampire. That was last year. In the meantime, both projects were acquired, announced, canceled, rescheduled, repurposed as a live event in one case, and dropped from the slate again. As his former secretary put it, "The moment Chopper John entered the picture, everything seemingly went to hell. And it all happened overnight."

Says Lucian, "With John in the picture, everything was done on a grand scale. Big plans made on glass coffee tables. He was giddy. He was just like a high school kid – you have all the answers, and whatever you say is funny, and whatever you do is cool. John tried to get as much money in advances as he could. For live events, films. That live event, a concert of Superstar, he proposed the idea and got me to put up a million and a half to make it. It never got produced. Much of that money is off the radar. He got advances for the vampire film, and some of that money disappeared." The secretary adds, "He acquired a townhouse for use as a personal office under an assumed name, I presume that's where some of Lucian's money went. If John ever used his own money, he'd have been spreading himself a bit too thin. He was continually thinking up these wild projects."

The big fancy townhouse, by all reports, was furnished in the most lavish style imaginable, described as "palatial" and "incredibly furnished," with Louis XIV desks, antique mirrors, a huge gold lobby with a soda fountain and a jukebox like a drugstore from the Thirties, everything paneled, a pink room called "the Party Room" with everything in it a very pale pink (including a pink grand piano), a "Serene Room," and a hired chef who prepared elaborate meals. When asked for comment at the time, friends say that he simply said now that he was a movie producer, he had to have an office worthy of his new status, and to think of the townhouse as a big production office. JohnLennono also reportedly picked up a new look to match his reported success, a slicker Italian schmooze sort of thing. If this ever existed, it's all off the books; no real estate developer in HTG Hollywood has ever recalled selling to J.L. or anyone fitting the description, and not even the best short order cooks in town will admit to working for him. J.L. claims he never changed his style, but would not answer questions about the alleged townhouse.

Carter's observation of events at J.L.'s Khazer Media International office on his lot proved more disturbing. "I don't know if it was incontinence or what, but it looked to me like John could never sit at his desk longer than ten minutes without going to the bathroom. He would get up in the middle of meetings and disappear for days. I could never figure it out." Another source alluded to having seen in J.L.'s office "a shoe box wrapped in tinfoil that looked like a present on which the wrapping had been ripped open" which, when opened, revealed "it was full of hundred-dollar bills. Wrapped like in the movies, with a little seal around them. It was in ten-thousand-dollar bundles and the shoe box was stacked full." This source also added that J.L. had made vague statements about using an offshore company to "beat the taxman" and that from time to time he would send guys "down there" with cash. "With all the stories he told, I scarcely knew what to make of this one."

JohnLennono gradually disappeared from sight while asking important but not necessarily urgent technical questions about the projects. Nobody in town knew where he was or had heard from him in some time. That was where the story ended until the middle of last month. The man who had come to be regarded as a rebellious young aristocrat (if his Knighthood story could be believed) playing a game he didn't understand suddenly appeared on Lucian Carter's doorstep in mid-March, begging to be let in immediately. While Lucian would not elaborate as to his explanation of his whereabouts, a new production deal was worked out on a new piece: Hair, an adaptation of the Sixties musical of the same name. A release is promised on that project within the week, say SoF staff.

The one question on everyone's lips in HTG Hollywood: Have we seen the last of JohnLennono? Or, as others grouse, "Will we ever?"

Crazy or Not? Cage Arrest Cause for Casting Alarm or Not?

With Nicolas Cage's recent arrest in New Orleans for domestic abuse (the pulling of his wife's arm?) and public disturbance (drunken tirade), a question has returned... Is the troubled actor a worthy candidate for HTG films?

Cage has not appeared in an HTG movie since 2008's Green Lantern: Legacy. He has a solid Talent Score and can fit a few character types with ease. But have his recent troubles caused HTG producers to look the other way?

"I think he's still got some juice left for HTG Hollywood" stated Miracle Pictures chief Marlowe during a conversation after the arrest. "In fact, I've got permission from Bennyman to write a sequel to his thriller Zest. I have definite thoughts concerning that project. It's just a matter of getting to time to get it to paper. I think it would work. And Cage would be great for the role."

What about other producers in town? Any thoughts on casting Nicolas Cage? Sound off in the comments, yay or nay. Who knows, the latest news on the actor may get him his first job in three years!

Trouble On the Trail of Laughs (by Teufel)

The Oregon Trail franchise was given a surprise resurrection with a new network, new producer, and an abbreviated title " Oregon Trail ." Its first episode debuted second place in a strong return to HTG TV by producer Teufel. However, despite high ratings and decent critical success, there have been some unpleasant mutterings about the game show.

"I don't like it... it's like watching gladiatorial combat or Christians being fed to lions," complained all-star critic Lucian in his review of episode one. With onscreen death and cannibalism some are questioning just how real the game show is. Since the episode aired, nothing has been heard from contestants Chocolate Dog, Mark Chua or Toran. The second episode's celebrity guest star Alex Winter hasn't been seen since the episode aired last Monday, a disturbing period of quiet for such a well-known workaholic. If " Oregon Trail " is just a game show, where have these men gone? That's the question some have been asking along with their criticisms of the show.

Devil Ray Television network head CzarTim was out in full force to try his hand at damage control. "Look, this is just a game show!" he pleaded. "I talked to Mr. Winter the other day. We laughed about it. This is silly." When pressed to explain what he would do to calm public concerns, he had a very hands-on approach. "Episode three is coming up soon. To prove this is just a lighthearted game show, I will be on it as a contestant. If it wasn't safe would I put myself in harm's way?"

It's a bold plan to assuage concerns about the series. Czar Tim will be joined by BlueOthello and Bennyman along with a secret celebrity guest. " Oregon Trail " airs at 11 PM only on DRTV.

The Hard Man Returns. I Hope He Brought Enough Gum for Everyone

A date has been set for Miracle Pictures' new crime film, Hardwick 2: Double Trouble. Featuring characters from the award-winning Hardwick, April 8 is the release date.

Bryan Bishop is returning as Jack Hardwick, a transplant to California who has become a private detective to pay the bills. Marlowe will be back as Lieutenant Mattingly, the LAPD officer who is developing a professional relationship with Hardwick.

"The story's done" producer Marlowe commented earlier. "It's actually been completed for some time. I've just got to adjust a thing here and there. HTG-ify it, if you will. I hope that it will be enjoyed as much as the first."

Further casting has yet to be announced.

Producer Opts for Celebrities Instead of New Coffee Machine, Employees Up in Arms

Since the lifting of limits on Friendly Talents for producers, Baseball Mogul operator Pedro has been snatching up directors, actors and actresses for his group of discounted talents. Paul Leyden, Nicholas Lea, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Douglas and John Waters are now friendly to Pedro's films. He may now hire these talents at a reduced rate for films that he produces. (Other producers may still hire them, but at the normal rate.)

"I'm (bleep) pleased to be (bleep) associated with (bleep) Baseball Mogul Productions" declared Samuel L. Jackson when he heard the news. Jackson, who now appears in Miracle Pictures' A Poop Protest, has had roles in the three Generations films and Are You There, God? from Baseball Mogul.

When asked if future talents are in line for FT status with Pedro, an assistant at the Production Office stated "He's got several folks in mind, but we're keeping quiet on their identities. Pedro is planning on adding to his list of favorites soon."

Pedro's next film, Scooby Doo 2, is being released by Ship of Fooles studio this Friday.