Editorial: Just Like The Rest of This Thing, Huh

There are several factors which determine the success of a film in HTG Hollywood. These include the cast and director, the amount of advertising, plus the theatre vote to gauge reaction to the release. Another item is the buzz vote for the film. This is a value between 1 and 10 that a potential viewer assigns to the movie to label his anticipation of said movie.

Some producers are well enough known that their films automatically get a good buzz vote. Some of us have been together for a decade and a half. Our knowledge of each other's writing is fairly concrete. But what if you don't know who is writing a film? What if you don't know who the director is or even what the movie is about? Would it be fair to give that upcoming film a good buzz vote?

Granted, the number of people who take a few seconds to buzz vote is practically nil. But is that an excuse to be so elusive about the content of a movie to not mention it somewhere... in an ad, on the HTGmdb, etc.?

I'm hoping that we can increase the amount of information about movies as this year progresses. It also wouldn't hurt to buzz vote more.

And why the picture of Henry Winkler above? For all I know, an upcoming movie, now in its sixth day of buzz voting, is about Fonzie going nuts and killing the Cunninghams in some weird Happy Days slasher.

Hmmm.

Actor Passes, Leaves Chirizo Taco Recipe to Cab Driver in Will

Abe Vigoda has passed away. He was 94, just a month shy of his 95th birthday.

The veteran actor passed away in his sleep at the home of his daughter, believed to be from natural causes. Vigoda was best known for the television series Barney Miller and The Godfather films. In 2010 he shared the screen with Betty White in a Super Bowl commercial for Snickers and was a frequent guest at the Friars Roasts. In HTG he appeared on three HTG TV shows and in seven movies, most of them releases by Miracle Pictures.

"In my spare time," stated Marlowe of Miracle Pictures, "I was writing A Sci-Fi Protest, which Mr. Vigoda would have a small role in. I guess I'll have to rewrite his part. Maybe I can come up with some way to have him appear in it. I don't know. He'll be missed, that's for sure."

Vigoda initially worked in theater, with his career dating back to the 1940s. After several productions on Broadway, he landed the role of Salvatore Tessio in 1972’s The Godfather, and had a brief appearance in the classic movie’s sequel in 1974. It was in 1975 that he began playing Detective Sgt. Phil Fish on Barney Miller and then later on his own series with the character.

Marlowe concluded "It sure will take some thinking to come up with a substitute for him."

Esteemed Director/Actor Approached, Not Sure If He Has Five or Six Doughnuts in Bag

Clint Eastwood briefly commented on the Harmer whale controversy on Saturday, seemingly suggesting it’s much ado about nothing.

As was previously reported on Happening, the work resolve of Harmer, Jade Falcon Productions and Harmer Films has been questioned, due to the luminary's love of sketching whales in various scenes. Eastwood, an artist in his own right, was asked about the situation when seen outside of a doughnut shop on Saturday morning.

"I don't know anything about it," he replied. "All I know is, if he's doing something harmless to make him happy, so be it. If people cry over it, that's tough cheese."

Eastwood last appeared on the HTG screen's in 2014's Poop: The Western.

Chris Harmer Linked to Whale Obsession?

Mega-producer/actor/studio chief Chris Harmer does not spend his free time drawing sketches of whales, despite a false new report seen elsewhere in HTG Hollywood. According to a spokesperson at Jade Falcon Productions (recently opening superhero hit Arsenal of Freedom), the claim is completely made up.

According to the inaccurate claim, Harmer is obsessed with drawing different styles of whales, some serious and some cute, and has developed a reputation for it. A so-called insider to the native Canadian tells falsely said that Harmer will draw the large aquatic mammals on anything, except the most essential documents, though he’ll occasionally doodle a whale instead on signing his initials on important papers. There are further claims that Harmer “never gets tired of it” and “cracks up every time he does it.”

The previously mentioned JF source told the Happ offices that the whale's tale is “made up.”

"As long as this silliness doesn't delay some more Harmer goodness," a local movie viewer commented, "I don't care. I can't wait to see what Harmony releases or gets produced by Jade Falcon. Or what Harmer's next big screen roll is. If he's connected to a project, I'm there."

Maybe There Was Sausage Up His Nostrils

Generally, we do not hear about Christian Bale in the news unless it's about the intense level that he takes in his acting. However, with the conclusion of Amyland Studio's monkey comedy S***ball 2, word has reached the Happening offices that an event on set nearly cost Bale a serious injury. According to a film crew member, a dog that appeared in the movie nearly ate Bale's nose when the actor picked him up.

"We told him to leave Roscoe alone" the film employed informed us, under condition of anonymity. "That dog sure was temperamental. But, no, Bale picked him up and gave Roscoe the stare-down. The dog took a nip at Bale's face, nearly getting a chunk of nose. That taught an important lesson. I think Bale's more careful now with animals that he doesn't really know."

The John Waters-directed S***ball 2, the sequel to S***ball, recently left HTG theatres. It raked in an impressive 327 million dollars at the box office.

"I'm telling ya," remarked a local movie goer, "them monkey movies are gold. I can't wait to see another."

Franchise Purchase Means Taco Tuesdays Will Remain at Studio Cafeteria

After a recent set of negotiations, Possum Lodge Studios has just become owners of Misfits of Science, an NBC television show from the mid Eighties. The short-lived series, which featured a young Courtney Cox, centered around a set of superpowered individuals and their crazy adventures.

PL chief Lucian has not stated yet where he is going with the franchise. But some investigation from Happening has uncovered some plot points.

The new version of the show will feature a team lead by Donald Trump, who had lost the GOP nomination for President. Unknown to most of the world, the mogul has the power to run electricity through his body, often to his disadvantage.

Team members will include an unnamed Kardasian, who has the power to convince people that she is famous, but has to skill to justify it. Chef Gordon Ramsey will play a man who can only get people's attention if he yells at them. And Jonah Hill is rumored to portray a habitual overeater who can only lose weight if an Academy Award nomination is in his future.

Stay tuned for more information about new possible characters, a plotline and Lucian's recipe for baked potato and bacon appetizers.

Almost Three Months Later and I'm Still Writing About Harmer. Go Figure.

There's a new studio in town and HTG movie fans are excited. Taking over the now defunct Four Tops Studios, ace producer/entertainer Chris Harmer will be releasing movies under the name Harmony Films.

"A new go-get-'em chief is sure to inject some juice into the theatres," commented an anonymous HTG hotshot. "Chris has plans already for a couple productions, plus rumor has it that he'll also be dipping his toe into the critic pool."

Although rumors are bouncing around like Tigger after ten bottles of Mountain Dew, it's said that the first Harmony release will be a sci-fi action blockbuster. A so-far untitled pussy cats vs. Godzilla epic may be seen in theatres this Spring.

"Oh, man, I sure would watch that" declared a local movie goer. "Add some of that Arsenel of Freedom action and we'll have a hit for sure."

Representatives from Harmony Films have not replied as of this writing concerning the rumors.

This HTG news source would like to wish Mr. Harmer the best of luck in his studio efforts.