I Wonder if a Tub of Popcorn on His Head Will Be Enough of a Subtle Clue

Visitors to a recent showing of Kaven's Wolfgang Alono exprerienced the most unnerving display that a movie viewer can be a part of... someone talking throughout the film on his cell phone. What makes matters worse is that the rude chatter was a studio chief/producer who should know better... Lake Hope/Raptor head Quantum!

"He was fine during the previews" a moviegoer in the same show commented. "But once the feature's opening credits came up, that cell came out and it was talk talk talk. He wouldn't shut up! Several of us told the manager, but when he saw that it was this Quantum fellow, he was afraid to approach him. What a pansy."

When phoned this morning about the complaint, Quantum shrugged it off.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault. Ritchie Steven kept phoning me, asking me when I was going to post my information on Jack of All Trades. I kept telling him that I'd take care of it after the show. But RS kept calling me back. I would have muted the guy, but that feature on my phone is broken. And I really wanted to see Kaven's film. It was definitely a frustrating night, but I'm not to blame."

Ritchie Steven could not be reached as of press time concerning Q's response.

Jack of All Trades, starring Quantum fav James Roday, opens Friday.

Check It Out, Kids! A New Poster!

HTG Hollywood is buzzing with the news that a brand spankin' new western film will be hitting the big screen in the near future. Titled "I, Michael", the Shane O'Macaroni Alexander-produced project will feature an all star cast. Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Jude Law and Robert Redford are among the stars, with Ang Lee to direct.

"The cost to cast these folks is up there," an industry analyst stated when he heard the news. "But they've got the goods, so they're worth it."

The staff at Happening is always in favor of Rachel McAdams, so her presence on the initial poster gets the film a thumbs up.

"The lack of a comma in the poster's title is a bit offputting" commented Happ columnist Bob. "But, what the heck. It's still got Rachel."

An opening date has not been announced yet from Flip Brothers Studio.

Shopping Frenzy Hits Local Store

It took little time for Mega Mart to sell out of the season's most fashionable new item, the pickle hat. In a mere three hours, all 5,000 hats where snapped up be eager HTG Hollywood residents.

"We had to limit the sales to just 3 per customer" proclaimed a Mega Mart staffer who worked during the frantic period. "There were lots of complaints about that, but we had to make sure that as many people got a hat as possible."

According to Mega Mart management, there are hopes that more pickle hats will be received for the peak holiday shopping season.

"These things are goldmines" the manager stated. "We're anxious as you-know-what to get some more in. If we do, expect another run on 'em. And we'll have to raise the price, too. It's a supply and demand business, you know."

Yes Indeedie Do!

The EIC doesn't anticipate anything major breaking tonight, so here's a pic of the most exciting addition to anyone's wardrobe that I can imagine. I realize that this fella is a little young, but I wager that he can have any babe he wants as long as he wears that hat and knows how to play Stars and Stripes Forever on his armpits. Nothin's more American than that, dawgs.

It's Not Just Great, It's Kevin Jamestastic!

It took Marlowe of Miracle Pictures little time to decide where to concentrate his creative juices after his return, if an insider at MP is to be believed. According to the inside source, Marlowe is planning on releasing a series of films based on the title character from Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

"Marlowe feels that Kevin James is the next comic superstar" the insider explained. "Marlowe acquired the Paul Blart property on the movie's opening weekend. From just the previews he realized that it was the 'next big thing'."

The insider went on to say that with each new film at 3-month intervals, Paul Blart would take up a new profession.

"He has trouble keeping jobs, I guess. Marlowe has some terribly original ideas that I think will take HTG Hollywood by storm. First we can expect Paul Blart: Pet Detective. Then a few months later we'll see Paul Blart: Male Gigalow. We're really thrilled to be a part of these projects and can hardly wait for Marlowe to make the official announcement."

Calls to Marlowe at his various residences, offices and such were left without reply. Stay tuned for further information concerning this exciting development.

Oh, Megan, We Hardly New Thee

2009 is coming to a close soon. Last year citizens saw fit to elect actress Megan Fox as their city's leader. While the fair Fox spent much time in and out of celebrity news, what can be said about her leadership of HTG Hollywood? Have the improvements made to the city been enough to see her in a second year as HTG Mayor?

Discussion has yet to formally begin concerning a new election. Have problems and life's work belonging to HTG admins foreshadowed the need for a new vote? Primaries and general elections would be needed. Should the voting be postponed.

Stay tuned to Happening and the HTG message board for further news. Supporters and opponents of Mayor Fox's term are invited to express their opinions.

Happ EIC Chief Gets Laptop Fixed, Now Requires Deep Tissue Massage

Problems during the late summer that removed Happening Editor in Chief Marlowe from the HTG Hollywood scene have been partially fixed, according to sources at this news source. But the longtime resident's troubling situation isn't completed rectified.

"My laptop required a rebuild from the ground up" Marlowe explained. "Whatever got ahold of the thing really did a number on it, despite anti-virus safeguards. In fact, it might have been the AV software that caused some of the difficulties. It looks like it got rid of some things that it shouldn't have.

"My desktop is still down. That's where a majority of my HTG work is. I did have some things on the laptop, but nothing that can't be duplicated eventually. I'm going to have to locate my paint software. Final Draft is up and running. It's far from a complete redo, but it's a start."

What does Marlowe plan on doing with a partial return of his connection to the HTG world?

"I'm not exactly sure. Regaining contact with other citizens seems a good place to start. I've been to chat a few times, but nothing's going on. I've started a couple scripts, but people who know me realize that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I guess I'll see what pops up when it arrives."

All HTG citizens are invited to contact the Happ EIC if they have need.

"I'll probably be forever behind, but at least my foot's back in the door, huh."