The Last Time Someone Stroked Argentina Like That, Madonna Made a Movie About It

Here's some straight skinny on the new HTG TV series for next session, brought to us by Ritchie Steven himself:

The new series is being penned by Lucian. It adapts the original comic series. The Tick was originally created by Ben Edlund.

The Tick's superpowers are nigh-invulnerability, which allows him to crash and bang about without injury (though not necessarily without pain); super strength (he can bend a steel girder with ease); and something referred to as "drama power," or basically a tendency for the Tick's powers to increase as the situation becomes more dramatic. He can also survive out in space without a suit and underwater without oxygen for a long time.

Main Two Cast Members (Regulars)
The Tick – Patrick Warburton
Arthur – John Hodgman

Supporting Cast (Regulars)
Rich Little – Various
Kari Wahlgren – Oedipus/various
Ben Edlund – Series director
Dean Cain – Clark Oppenheimer
Dan Aykroyd – District Manager

Episode List Titles

Episode 1 – The City
Episode 2 – The Caped Wonder
Episode 3 – Mr. Nedd
Episode 4 – High Rise Hijinx
Episode 5 – Night of a Million-Zillion Ninja
Episode 6 – We’re a Hedge (Season Finale)

The show is a half hour show that will likely be teamed up in an hour (super) block with either Chocolate Dog's Super or PJ Flip's Hero (or Something Like It).

Publishing Difficulties Cause Problems for Happening Editor

According to a staff memo from our Editor in Chief, a software glitch has prevented the successful updating of this newsite over the last few days.

"It's a conspiracy" Marlowe grumbled, perched on his padded office chair. "It's as if someone was out to harm us. I won't tolerate this. I'll see this problem fixed or my name isn't Marlowe!"

When Happening staff members pointed out to the EIC that his name really isn't Marlowe, the producer/studio chief shrugged it off."

All I know is that I'll get this stuff that I have saved posted or there will be Pedro to pay. Pedro to pay, do you hear me?!"

Harmer Dating Lucky Actress From Spy Flick

Perhaps HTG Hollywood's most eligible bachelor, former city leader Chris Harmer has proven time and time again that no actress of desire is beyond his reach. Over the weekend our ex-mayor was seen on the town with the lovely Emmanuelle Chriqui. Best known for her roles in Entourage and the unfortunate Adam Sandler comedy You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Emmanuelle has not participated in an HTG project since 2006's Godsend Conspirator.

That's all set to change, according to Miracle Pictures producer Marlowe. From a source at MP, Marlowe has included the Canadian actress in his upcoming spy-action-thriller Chris Harmer: International Man of Intrigue and Adventure: The Prometheus Stone.

"She portrays one of many love interests for super spy Chris Harmer," stated the insider during a recent phone call. "She, of course, cannot resist the charm of the man whose talents exceed James Bond and Ethan Hunt put together. Can you blame her?"

Although still in pre-production, confidence is high that the film will be completed for a 2009 release.

"Marlowe has so many things in the works that it's hard to tell what he'll finish and when. But the opening scene of this one has tested very well, which is enough to encourage the long-time producer."

Chris Harmer appeared last in 2008's Pizza Tycoon. The producer-actor-man about town has several projects in the works.

"Any time Chris is in a film, ticket sales go through the roof" explained a local theatre operator. "I can hardly wait for his next one to come out!"

And Now We Have Three Stories in a Row From Quantum. He's On Fire! I Might Need to Rename This News Site.

Country folk like movies, or at least they like movies set in rural areas. Country folk, who've been helping keep the HTG Small Pond clean, have agreed to help fund the upcoming Baseball Mogul/Lake Hope Features film "The Cabin in the Middle of Nowhere."

The film, set at a remote wooded cabin, follows a deranged killer (played by Neil Patrick Harris) who goes on a killing spree at the said cabin. The film co-stars Blake Lively, Emma Stone, Chace Crawford and Emilie Hirsch, as well as a string of other high profiled young actors.

Neil Patrick Harris has recently come off a string of hit films, including his starring turn in Phil Scotto For President and his co-starring role in the hit comedy Amateurball. He also has an HTG TV series in It's Always Me, which performed solidly last session and earned NPH a Scully Award. He is said to be in talks for a role in President's Choice: Zombie Survival, a horror comedy coming from Quantum, which is said to be based upon the Zombie Survival Guide book.

The Cabin in the Middle of Nowhere is set for a July 17th release.

Two Stories By Q in a Row? That's Like Being Surprised With Ice Cream for Dessert and Finding Out You Also Get Sprinkles. Score!

It's been two years since Costa debuted the failed TV series "Gunz: The Duel," but it seems now that the Gunz franchise is ready for a big screen debut.

Production has begun on the new Raptor Inc/Lake Hope Features action blockbuster "Gunz: Lost Salvation," which is set to star Wesley Snipes in his first role since 2004's "The Sweet Forever." He is said to be playing a man simply known as "The Man in the Trenchcoat" as he battles his way through a pay and play free will deathmatch game in a stadium known as The Dome.

"It's like Shoot'em Up meets Tron," said producer Quantum, who also has a role in the film ."I'm excited to be working on this film with Paul [Verhoeven]. He's just the best."

Also a part of the cast is Cuba Gooding Jr., who has just come off making the smash hit comedy "Amateurball" with the studio. "He plays 'The Suit Wearing Man' in the film. The character suits him. I believe he's the only one that's got enough zest to pull the character off. It might also help that he's been doing a lot of [RL] action films recently."

Rounding out the cast are Steven Seagal (who agreed to work on the action movie for free), Diane Neal (of Law & Order: SVU fame), Zoe Bell (who has worked with Quantum in the past), Tia Carrere, Thom Bishops and How I Met Your Mother star Josh Radnor.

Gunz: Lost Salvation hits theaters July 31st via Lake Hope Features.

Quantum News: Actor/Singer Discovers Zen, Still Afraid to Drop Soap in Shower

Former HTG Jail resident Leif Garrett is getting a chance at movie redemption as he has booked a role in the new arthouse drama The Zen of Travel. According to various sources, he will be playing the husband of Leann Hunley's character.

"It's a bit of a stark move on our part," said Executive Producer Jerry Bruckheimer in a recent interview. "But I think he does a good job in the role."

This will be Leif's first on screen apperance since 2005's The Screech Monkeys, where he played himself.

"I'm thankful for this oppurtinity," said Leif in an interview promoting the movie. "If it weren't for Quantum and Jerry Bruckheimer, I'd still be in prison right now."

The Zen of Travel comes out this Friday.

Phae Forwards News Concerning His Next Project. Thanks, Phae. Take the Rest of the Weekend Off. Happy 4th!

You might not care, you might not want to hear about it, and you might dog it bad. However, I’ve got to tell you this: I Don’t Care About Snow Dogs is in theaters July 10th. The film’s release is coinciding with Bruno (Sacha Baron Cohen’s new movie about a gay fashion host) who stars in the aforementioned film.

Sacha Baron Cohen talks with us about his time on the set.

“So I’ve been on the set for a few days now. We’ve been having fun. It’s pretty cold. It’s like the Coors train has been circling us for days. Even the voice actors are on set, which, I thought very odd. Producer Phaethon has been making us work very hard since he literally thought up this movie a month ago and had it release so soon.”

John Witherspoon is enjoying the shoot.

“Oh, I loved working with the cast of I Don’t Care, but now they got me with a bunch of dogs! And I thought Jonah Hill ate a lot of food. Boy, that dog ate my sandwich while I put it on a table. They had to pry my hands from its neck, but I got it back. Tasted funny, but it was alright. Yeaaa booiii! I hope this movie makes some money. Maybe the series will be coming back. I’m sure this exposure will get me some good publicity. Expect me in Hancock 2 after this! What? No, as Hancock! Forget Will Smith!”

If you care about one thing this summer, make it be this movie.