Those Who Dealt It Sang It

Throughout the history of HTG Hollywood, films of all sorts have graced its silver screen. Action. Adventure. Comedy. Drama. Romance. And now, thanks to Lucian Carter of Ship of Fooles Productions, a new kind of movie will hit the theatres. Through his Possum Lodge Studios, Lucian will be releasing a film called Celebrity Fart Songs.

The editor is pausing so that you can reread that a few times. It's not a typo.

Celebrity Fart Songs is a tune-filled game show for the most part. Acting as host is Chuck Woolery, iconic game show host. Also featured are musical comic genius Weird Al Yankovich and Canadian comedienne Samantha Bee. The reaction to the movie has been mixed.

"It sounds like fun" stated one movie fan at a local theatre.

Another person interviewed wasn't enthusiastic, stating "A film about farts? That's disgusting!"

Celebrity Fart Songs is slated for a November 18 release.

Image Use Not Approved By Actor, Snow Boots on Sale at Mega Mart

An awkward situation has developed in HTG Hollywood. Strangely enough, it once again concerns the odd cult formed by HTG luminary Chris Harmer. The producer's poutine club has attracted the likes of many celebrities and mover-shakers in town. It revolves around meetings at Harmer's mansion, where they eat the fry-curd-gravy concoction, listen to music and discuss issues of the day.

However, not everyone in town is a member of the club. One of these non-members is actor Seth Rogen. Although Canadian and a fan of poutine, he is not a member of Harmer's club.

"He's never been asked" explained a representative of Rogen's. "It's not a matter of him saying no. It's just that he never got an invite."

However, according to the rep, Rogen is disappointed to discover that his image is being used in membership propaganda without his permission.

"Seth hasn't worked in HTG since 2014. It would be nice if the filthy rich Chris Harmer would offer a couple coins for the use of his image."

The situation gets awkward when you consider that they have a mutual friend, Marlowe from Miracle Pictures. Seth Rogen is a "friendly talent" of the studio. Chris Harmer has appeared in a number of successful features of the studio. Both are bound to get work at the same time from Miracle Pictures. Would a pending lawsuit make the situation worse?

"As long as Harmer begins to respect Seth, things will be fine" the representative concluded.

Independent News Site Arrives in HTG Hollywood

Recent journalism contributor Richard van den Berg has decided to open his own news location. Named STB Weekly, it is planned to offer a weekly issue, with news covering box office, celebrities and movies. Articles may be submitted to STB Weekly at richardvandenberg2014(at)gmail.com.

"It's always nice to have multiple HTG news outlets" announced a staff member of Happening. "There's always something to know. Having places to read about 'em are a good thing."

The Happening staff would like to wish Richard good luck in his endeavor with STB Weekly.

Nixon Now More Than Ever

By Richard van den Berg

Today Renée Zellweger was spotted in HTG Hollywood at Dean Drive with a very short dress. And if we say very, we mean very! She was there for her fan day, but it was cancelled because there were just too many journalists. Zellweger said "I couldn’t handle it any more." And all the fans left, while the brutal journalists were still trying to make pictures of the 46-year-old Tales of Terror and Suspense actress. And then she drove away. According to eyewitnesses, she was driving in a big Mercedes SUV. Some fans did understand why Renée cancelled her fan day. One of the fans stated “I think it was a wise decision. I am still in love with her.”

Some fans were a bit more negative about her behavior and her looks. One of them commented “I have always loved Renée from the start of her career until finish." Another said “She looked like a Barbie, with lots of (failing) plastic surgery! I think she is just frustrated because she did not appear in a movie since 2008!”

Anyway, films of Zellweger proved to be successful in the past, but it is a fact that she isn’t the most hyped actress of HTG now. Her lone two appearances on the HTG big screen have been as Bobbi Jo Hancock in Hunt Club stories. Rumor has it that Miracle Pictures has been working on a new Hunt Club tale for some time. However, in that feature, Zellweger would be replaced by January Jones, to play Bobbi Jo's sister. Miracle Pictures could not be reached for comment.

Brad Pitt Spotted With Ex-Wife Jennifer Aniston

By Richard van den Berg

It’s not news any longer that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are divorcing. But a new scoop showed up today. The rumor is that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were seen together.

A week before the divorce was made official, they were spotted at The Ganzevoort Hotel in New York City. Some anonymous sources say that there is video which proves that the rumor is reality. A Dutch television program called “Shownieuws” called The Ganzevoort Hotel. When asked about the rumor, the hotel manager said “I don’t know both actors." Many people in the Netherlands did not believe the “explanation” of the hotel manager. Jolie, Aniston and Pitt did not react on the rumors.

Pitt and Aniston were married from 2000 to 2005. Anniston is currently married to Justin Theroux, who has defended his wife.

Aniston has not appeared on the HTG screen since 2013, when she played a supporting role in Miracle Picture’s “Grand Theft Dog 2."

It's Been Getting Down in the Forties Here at Night. That's Too Cold. But It IS Fall, After All. Hmm. I Guess I'll Just Have to Live With It.

Rumors concerning the poutine cult of HTG luminary Chris Harmer continue. This news source has received a picture of two men arm wrestling, allegedly at the mansion where Harmer has his meetings.

"It's got to be legit" stated a local movie fan after observing the photo. "That's William Shatner and Chris Pine. Shatner's Canadian, right? Pine's from California. I haven't got that figured out yet. But, if there's a Canadian involved, it has to mean there's poutine around."

Calls to Harmer's camp and Shatner's representatives have gone unanswered so far.

William Shatner's next roll is as the narrator in the documentary XXC 8: One Second More. The Possum Lodge Studios release opens this Friday.

"Waitasec!" added the movie goer. "Possum Lodge... That's from a Canadian TV show, right? And it's run by a guy from Toronto, yes? Someone needs to investigate this poutine cult further before it takes over HTG Hollywood!"

Brangelina is Over!

By Richard van den Barg

Many people know about the glitter and glamour marriage between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, two of HTG Hollywood's highest paid talents. The two became known as “Brangelina.” But it’s over now and there is a rumor about Angelina Jolie. She talked about taking her children to Syria for charity work with the refugees, so Brad could not have contact with the kids. Both of them did not want to react on the divorce and on the rumor. Experts say that it’s smarter to just say nothing for both of them and children.

There is a big chance that this case will go to court. They don’t have to do it for money (an estimated $400 million for Brad and $200 million for Angelina).

Ian Halperin, author of Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie has said through the media that the marriage wasn’t for real and just for show, although Brad and Angelina did not react on the rumor.

Anyway, we need to see what’s going to happen in the future between the couple. We wish them the best!

Pitt and Jolie have not been seen on the HTG big screen since 2014.