Jail Inmate Finds Funds for New Digs After Countless Hours of Making Knockoff Casino T-Shirts and Jogging Suits

A respectable fifty dollars left the Mike Pepsi account today. Pepsi, who has been in the HTG Jail for more than four years, has completed one of the most meaningless transactions in HTG history by purchasing a shack by the pond next to the HTG trash dump. Since this is the first such shack built, who knows what it will feature? A reporter from Happening made his way to the scene to see exactly what.

The atmosphere is delightful, according to the Happening staffer. The breeze coming off of the runoff water is a mixture of discarded DVDs, rusty blue Hondas and unwanted Carrot Top is Scary awards. The patio features a nice view of the area and will be ready once the remainder of the turpentine is washed from the recycled scrap metal walls. Although no furniture has been delivered yet, Men at Work contractors are searching the dump for some.

"I'm so happy to have a place to go once I am released" stated Mike Pepsi from his cell next to multi-account violater Moosey. "I hope no one squats there before I get out."

Goose Has Sent This News About an Upcoming Project. Thanks, Goose. Grab a Kit Kat Out of Petty Cash.

Annasophia Robb won the lead role to star with such talented heavyweights as Samuel L Jackson, Jim Carrey and Angelina Jolie in the upcoming TLM film Alice in La La Land. She beat out such notables as Dakota Fanning, Lilliana Mumy and Abigail Breslin to win the part of Alice.

The story is an adaptation of Lewis Carroll's novel with Los Angeles and Orange County as Wonderland. "It was great to go to all the different locations. I didn't realize there were so many cool places" Robb said.

And was there a favorite place? "I really liked filming at the South Coast Plaza. It was the only place we shot at night. And Disneyland was cool. We filmed early in the morning and then spent the rest of the day at the park." Some of the other locations are Griffin Park, the Queen Mary and the Playboy Mansion.

Alice in La La Land is directed by Terry Gilliam and will be released through Bulletproof Avatar Pictures on September 11.

Good Luck to the Fighting Divas as Football Season Begins. Rah!

With some of the finest vehicles in movie and television history at our disposal, it is easy for residents of HTG Hollywood to get lost in the excitement of driving. But Mayor Megan Fox has hopes that each of us will remember that school is starting and that there will be more pedestrians, generally of student age, on the streets at certain times of day.

"We'd hate to see accidents occur" explained a staff member of city hall. "Hopefully everyone will slow down and keep an eye out for younger citizens going to and from school."

In support of the mayor's wishes, Captain Carl O. Winslow of the HTG Police Department has increased patrols of city streets before and after classtime.

"Anything we can do to help to make our younger townsfolk safe" the police chief remarked. "Just drive safe and you won't have to worry about a ticket. Or worse, hurting someone."

Now We Know Why Tom Cruise Got Up on the Couch and Giggled Like a Madman. Werd, Tom.

It is not the usual policy of What's Happening to copy news provided by another HTG Hollywood news source. But recent word published in Lucian's Musings has brought to light information that has taken the city by storm.

Is that a naked Oprah Winfrey in recently discovered pictures?

Speculation either way has led to a fury of interest in the upcoming Ship of Fooles short story collection titled Running With Scissors, which features the Queen of the Media.

"We're sorry that rumors of the photos have taken over advertising for the film" stated a SoF representative. "But I suppose any publicity is good publicity. We're hoping that people see the movie and judge it as is, not as if one of the talents involved has some risque pictures out there somewhere."

Running With Scissors, produced by Lucian Carter, is scheduled for September 18.

More Money is Good, Me Thinks. Now What. Hmm. Sell Photos of RS Sleeping Face First in a Plate of Pasta? Two Mil a Shot? Hmm.

The initial run of syndication for HTG TV has come to a close, with Miracle Pictures series Dead Heat attracting the most cash. Ritchie Steven's demon busting cop show Downtown earned the spot as the show with the most money per episode.

"We're excited that this might get some more people seeing the show" stated MP producer Marlowe. "We ran with it for two seasons, twice as long as we first figured. The show's still available if people want to check out some older work of mine, reachable through the HTGmdb."

With renewed interest in Dead Heat, will viewers see a return for LAPD Detectives Roger Mortis and Douglas Bigelow?

"That's unlikely. At the end of the second season that's made pretty obvious. Well, to me, at least. However, I do have an idea or two for a followup... one a series and the other a movie. You never know what the future will bring."

According to syndication operator Lucian Carter, network chiefs have been paid their syndication funds.

"Start your pestering... now!" the Ship of Fooles/Rogue Net executive joked.

Congratulations to all involved on this first run of syndication.

Why? Why Not?

"It was a slow news weekend" remarked Happening EIC Marlowe when asked about making updates to this news source. "I guess I need to jump start the week. Here you go."

Where's the Wrestling News, Dawg?

Numerous townsfolk have contacted the Happening office over the last few weeks that have basically asked one question: Where's all the wrasslin' coverage?

For citizens new to HTG Hollywood and not in the mood to go to the HTG Archives link, here's the backstory. Most professional coverage for this news source was handled by one person... Bobby Allen Sherman, aka Wrestleboy.

Wrestleboy in his reporting prime

The youthful reporter had the uncanny ability to sneak around wrestling venues and pick up scoops and rumors that no one else was able to. He's a kid, right? What harm could come of him hearing or seeing something?

Eventually, however, the staff at TCW noticed that Wrestleboy was reporting on things that he heard. Most of that news was acceptable. Some, however, was not. Sometimes the backstage politics and the oversized egos involved in professional wrestling didn't need to be revealed. But, there in Happening, for all to see, was the occasional bad news. TCW officials and talent became tight lipped. Getting the inside poop on the pay per views and the HTG TV shows got tougher and tougher.

However, the worst news was yet to come. Earlier this week, the following memo was posted at the Happening office:

In accordance with the Wellness Policy of What's Happening in HTG Town, Bobby A. Sherman (Wrestleboy) has been suspended for one (1) calendar month for violation of the policy, effective August 25.

The news shocked the Happening staff. It is company policy to not try to guess the cause of the suspension. Once the EIC makes his decision, it's been made.

So, in a nutshell, the lack of wrestling news has its reason. Will another reporter step in? Or will we have to wait for the month to end? When the month ends, will Wrestleboy even return? Will the Editor in Chief allow him back? Will wrestling fans be forced to venture to other news sites for their fix? Numerous questions can be asked, but a "we'll see" attitude dominates the situation.