Where Are the Updates?

I haven't updated since July? Eek. Gotta work on that.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Bananas. Oh, I Like Bananas!

Despite having a large fan base, Sarah Michelle Gellar has not appeared on the HTG big screen since 2013. Often appearing in the past in productions from Amyland Studios, SMG has found herself cast in Miracle Pictures' Dead Heat: Year One. Based on the HTGTV show, which was based on a cult movie, the film was developed to honor late HTG mayor Adam West. West appeared in an episode of The Ben Stiller Show. Stiller agreed to appear in Dead Heat: Year One out of respect for West. Also appearing is frequent Stiller collaborator Owen Wilson and Carla Gugino.

Controversy developed last week when rumors of compromising photos of Sarah Michelle Gellar hit the HTG Hollywood streets. Happening has reached out to SMG's people and is pleased to announce that the hearsay is indeed just that.

"Why these things develop is beyond me" stated a representative of the actress.

Dead Heat: Year One is now in theatres, along with the newly-opened Possum Lodge Studios film Bits 3.

Deja Vu All Over Again

By Lucian Carter

Lucian has once again secured the services of actor Judge Reinhold who, despite being available for free due to a deal hidden somewhere on the Town Square map, has only been used by Lucian thus far. This time, Reinhold will narrate a piece in the new animated film Bits 3. The Bits series has prided itself on experimenting with genre to produce a wildly different Bits film each time out. Noted director Ralph Bakshi makes his HTG debut as he takes the helm. This is by no means children's animation as the mix of topics includes some dark pieces.

Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot will be added to the mdb as a member of the cast, one of those weird things Canadian producers do. Bill Murray takes the top role as he narrates one of the longer and more controversial pieces. An editor once called this piece, called Groundhog Day, "horrifying" and the protagonist "a monster", not realizing the story was autobiographical. Another Canadian making their HTG debut is Russel Peters. Peters, a Canadian born of Indian immigrants, is one of the top grossing comics in the world, yet it seems mainstream America has never heard of him. Henry Rollins, Dolly Parton, Jerry Seinfeld, Susan Sarandon are just some of the other cast members.

Bits 3 hits theaters June 30th. Buzz vote today!

EIC Tells Staff to Insert Title Here, Leaves for Day at Beach With Hair Stylist's Niece

An established HTG publisher may be in trouble with city authorities, but it wouldn't be for normal celebrity reasons. Rather than being investigated for partying or crashing his car into the front glass of a liquor store, the esteemed Chris Harmer has complaints against him concerning recent additions to his HTG home. According to residents in the neighborhood, Harmer has added three silos to his front yard. Although calls to the one-time mayor were not answered as of this writing, a conversation with a neighbor on Ledger Lane gave us some insight.

"It's for storing that blasted poutine of his" explained the gentleman, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of cheese-covered reprisal. "He and his club buddies eat the stuff like Jack Nicholson goes through co-eds. You'd think that the stuff would spoil. Nope. They go through it too quickly. There's a new truck with more of it each morning. It's unsightful and noisy. They have to come down!"

Rumors may have an explanation why Harmer is engaging in such an odd practice. According to word on the street, Harmer is upset that his next film with Miracle Pictures, The Chris Harmer Mysteries: The Case of the Missing Dog, is falling behind on production.

"Oh, these things never go as quickly as you'd like" stated a representative from MP Studios. "But we're on track. We'll be seeing the finished product soon."

The third in the CHM series, the film will also feature Charlize Theron and Kristen Schaal. A Spring release has been announced. Another movie from the studio, Saturn Valley's Kelly & Carissa, is now showing in theatres. MBroderick's Leaving the Bay will open in May.

There's Ice Cream in the Freezer, But I'll Snack on this Broccoli. Don't Need Sugar This Late, Right?

Poster by Saturn Valley

Actor Seth Rogen and producer Marlowe of Miracle Pictures did not have a blowup over a film wrap gift, despite claims made by another HTG news source. Happening is pleased to put this rumor to rest.

As is tradition after making a movie, gifts are present to the stars by the heads of the project as a way of thanks. Saturn Valley's Kelly & Carissa, opening this Friday, will be the eleventh movie or TV show that Rogen has worked with Marlowe on. In fact, the comedic actor is a "friendly talent" to Miracle Pictures Studio. Rogen was presented a present this week by Miracle Pictures, an antique telescope. Known for his interest in astronomy, Rogen's appreciation to Marlowe was underestimated. An argument between the two men ensued, it has been established. But, it turned out, that the telescope was not the cause of the riff.

"It was over details concerning an upcoming movie" explained a Miracle Pictures representative. "And it was just a minor spat. Seth wants to be the lead in the film, but Marlowe believes that his limited work in the film does not earn him that spot. Although Seth will have to appear in one of the other top spots of the movie, a comedy, of course, he'll have to live without the lead."

Further conversation with the rep assured us that the disagreement between Rogen and the studio as finished.

Rogen appears as a perverted paramedic in the upcoming Kelly & Carissa. The film stars Michael Cera and Selena Gomez as man and wife who are involved in a unique act to fix a marital problem. The movie, directed by David O. Russell and written by Saturn Valley, opens this Friday.

Actor Despises Cold, Eats Seafood Nachos to Stay Warm

Actor Michael Cera has found himself in two consecutive movies released by Miracle Pictures. In addition to starring in Kelly % Carissa on April 14, Cera will be featured in MBroderick's Leaving the Bay. In a lesser role for the latter, Cera noted that the San Francisco shoot was quite chilly, compared to the Spanish scenes in K&C.

"It's like the studio's trying to get me to catch cold," remarked the young actor. "But I'm thrilled to have the work. I hope something else comes up soon."

Leaving the Bay concerns the move to Detroit from the Bay Area for Teddy, played by Alden Ehrenreich. The actor last appeared in HTG in 2014's Energy Run. Also starring in LtB is Lupita N’yongo. She portrays Hannah, a close friend to Teddy.

Leaving the Bay is an Ouroboros Productions film to be released in the near future.

Like a Rinestone Cowboy Removed From Soundtrack, Muscle Relaxers to Blame

Michael Cera has been cast in the lead role in the upcoming Kelly & Carissa. Penned by Saturn Valley, who gave us HTGTV's Underground Dan, the movie will focus on Cera's Kelly and his desire to fight a bull to defend his wife's (Carissa) honor.

"It's pretty silly" commented a spokesman from releasing Miracle Pictures. "There's some racy content as well. People should be ready for a wild ride."

This will be the fifth project from Miracle Pictures Studio that includes Cera. A sequel to All Up in That Junk, featuring Cera, is slated for a possible late Summer opening. Kelly & Carissa will be released in April.