More Harmer News Means More Subscriptions Sold. It Only Makes Sense to Do 'Em.

Although originally chalked up as one of those constant rumors that float around HTG Hollywood, this news source has confirmed that mega-producer/actor Chris Harmer has indeed hired someone to keep him on time. With perhaps the most hectic schedule in town, the star of the recently released Attack of the Fifty Foot Man decided that he needed someone to help him get to where he needed to go in a reasonable manner.

"That's where Watchie came in" explained a representative of the superstar Harmer. "We call him Watchie because Chris pays him money to wear several watches so that, if any break, you know there's at least one that works. Watchie makes sure that, be it a movie shoot, photographer appointment, dinner engagement or whatever, Chris is there. We considered hiring someone to wear just one big clock around his neck, a la Flava Flav, but we thought that was a bit showy. Despite Chris' widespread fame and appeal, he's really a down-to-earth guy."

Harmer is scheduled to be featured in yet another Miracle Pictures film, coming out this Autumn. The studio has yet to announce which project this will be.

"I hope it's another mystery" proclaimed a viewer at a local theatre. "Those films of his rule."

"Ooh, make it a romantic comedy!" declared a female fan.

This Heat Is Worse Than Having to Listen to a Full Selena Gomez Album

It seems that HTG Hollywood will always be a town where rumors flow easily. The latest is that HTG's most noted producer, Chris Harmer, is in a romantic relationship with songstress Lady Gaga.

"I heard that the two have been going out ever since Harmer's Canada Day bash" reported a local when questioned.

"I saw them pull a Lady and the Tramp at the Flip's restaurant" stated another.

Happening can verify that Chris Harmer and Lady Gaga are not dating. Although they are friends, romance has never been a part of the equation.

"They run into each other occasionally at functions around town, like film openings" explained a spokesman from Harmer's Jade Falcon Productions. "People tend to forget that Chris is a married man. He does know a lot of ladies, but it's all plutonic. Any gossip to the contrary is rubbish."

Harmer has a minor role in this weekend's 3 Tales From the Twilight Zone. He will star in August's Attack of the Fifty Foot Man. And Happening is proud to announce this exclusive: Chris Harmer will not be appearing in Miracle Pictures' next feature. The untitled movie will star Paul Rudd and Zac Efron.

"A Miracle Pictures movie without Harmer? That's inconceivable!" declared a movie viewer.

If the Blue Shirt Has Any Significance, I'd Think That It Has Something to Do With Pop Rocks

Actor Zac Efron was spotted today with two pairs of sunglasses and HTG Hollywood is abuzz about it.

"That's the coolest thing since jeans with tears in them" stated one fan.

"I wish I could get away with that" remarked another.

"If someone doesn't capitalize on the Efron Fever soon, they'll be making a big mistake" declared one more fan.

The latter citizen appeared to have his wish come true when it was announced today that Efron will be appearing in an upcoming film. So far unscheduled, but promised for the summer, Efron is one of the talents involved with a mystery project currently in production by Miracle Pictures.

With a trio of recent releases/coming releases, Miracle Pictures remained mum on the new movie when asked this afternoon.

"All we can say at this time is that it is under way" an MP representative stated. "The project doesn't have a title yet. When there's more to report, we'll let you know."

Efron has appeared in two prior MP movies, Battle Royale and Grave Robbers. He appeared in top 4 roles in both. Will the new film be the same?

"Most likely" the rep concluded. "He does have a major part in the movie."

The current Miracle Pictures film is 3 Tales From The Twilight Zone, opening this Friday.

Wonder Twin Powers... Activate!

According to another HTG news source, famed HTG producer Chris Harmer is preparing a cook book, full of recipes of food that he ate growing up in his native Canada. However, Happening has found out from a rep of Harmer that this is not true.

"I don't know why those guys make this stuff up," stated the representative. "Sure, Chris likes eating food from where he grew up. Moose pot pie. Hackleberry soufflé. Licorice and gravy. You know, good food from childhood. But he has people who cook for him. Chris really doesn't have time to cook, let alone write a book about cooking. He's acting. He's writing. He's modeling. He's solving the world's energy crisis. That's a typical day for Chris Harmer. Not cooking beaver burgers."

Harmer has a small part in the upcoming Miracle Pictures release 3 Tales From The Twilight Zone. His part is larger, pun intended, in the upcoming Attack of the Fifty Foot Man. Based on the 1958 classic Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Harmer portrays a nice guy with a bad wife who must deal with the after effects of an alien encounter.

"It's good fun" continued the Harmer ally.

Directed by Christopher Guest and also starring Charlize Theron and Zooey Deschanel, the film is set for a summer showing.

Raquel Welch is Still Hot for Her Age. Yup.

A new superhero movie is on the calendar for August. A release from the Flips, it has the Metro City Origins label. However, the brothers are being tight-lipped about what hero will be featured. However, thanks to some investigating by this news source, we are pleased to reveal the identity of said hero.

At-Man, not to be confused with Marvel's Antman, is a powered individual with unique capabilities. He is able to track down the web address of an Internet location if the page does not load.

"He's a hit among the offices of Metro City" stated a Flip Brothers insider. "If your boss needs some information and you can't get it, things can get rough. But At-Man, for a modest fee, will do some computer wizardry and get that page loaded for you. No more errors with At-Man around!"

Happening was unable to find out who would be portraying the hero on the big screen, though John Goodman is known to play some role in the film.

"He's probably a mentor of some kind" surmised a movie fan at a local theatre.

As August approaches, we are certain that more details concerning the next Metro City Origins movie will be revealed.

My Neighbor's TV Volume is Too High. What a Goober.

When the casting call was made for Dr. Tom Morton, a character in the upcoming "Thanks, Dad" film from Miracle Pictures, a line formed around the block in east HTG Hollywood's MP studio lot. The description was "dreamy co-leading man capable of deep emotion." Although the process of finding an actor to take the role took weeks to complete, studio executives were pleased with the outcome.

"It was aggravating at first. None of these pretty boys could act their way out of a wet paper bag. But, on day twenty-five, we found our man. And he didn't even stop by to audition! Go figure."

The man chosen to place Dr. Morton was HTG mega-producer Lucian Carter. Lucian is not a stranger to the big screen, last working with Miracle Pictures in the sequel Zest 2 (where he also played a doctor). Although known mostly for producing and releasing movies, MP reps said that Lucian nailed the part.

"It's just a small part, one scene" the studio spokesman stated. "We needed someone who could bring some drama toward the end of the film. And Lucian did that. We're looking forward to working with him in the future."

Thanks to the Be a Star! perk purchased by the producer long ago, Lucian's Talent Score is able to increase and decrease with starring performances. The producer's TS is currently a respectable 8.214 and will rise with films that he are in exiting theatres.

The current high score for an HTG producer is 12.829, the TS for Chris Harmer of The Chris Harmer Mysteries (also a Miracle Pictures film).

Thanks, Dad opens next week. It is a Mel Brooks directed film.

Tips Accepted

Lady Gaga has finally obtained her driver’s license! The 30-year-old singer revealed the big news Friday with an online photo of her sitting behind the wheel of a car. And, what leads to be the most unexpected of news, she plans on starting a taxi service!

"I might as well" the songstress announced. "I can't get hired in HTG Hollywood! It really hurt that a musical is coming out soon and I wasn't invited to participate in it. What else is a girl to do?"

The musical mentioned is the Possum Lodge Studios release of Bits 2, a collection of songs presented by some of the city's stars. It is scheduled for July 15.

"Until someone decides to employ my talents," Lady Gaga continued, "you can find me driving people around. Gotta pay the bills, you know."