Producer Suspects Friend of Planting Device in Auto

Megaproducer of Baseball Mogul Productions has told authorities in HTG Hollywood that he believes his long-time friend Amy the Dog is responsible for putting a GPS tracker in his car.

According to the police report provided by Chief Winslow, the tracking device was discovered in an old Milk Bone box inside the rear passenger side of Pedro's famed Cha-mobile when the vehicle was receiving routine maintenance. The device was registered to HTG Hollywood private investigator Veronica Mars, whom Amy had allegedly hired.

The report states that the canine actress had instructed the P.I. to buy the tracker into the car. It appears that Amy has been displeased with the lack of roles provided to her lately.

When asked for comment, Pedro remarked "Babo says he no loco la chica del ricos."

According to Chief Winslow, no charges have been filed at this point.

Help, He's Fallen and He Can't Wrestle

With wrestling event TCW XV on the horizon, fans across the city have been asking... Is Justin Bieber in the film or not?

After months of speculation, the answer appears to be a solid no.

According to a representative of Bieber, the young star would not be able to participate in such, a physical event, thanks to a recent injury. While attempting a skateboard trick at a local park, the singer-actor took a hard fall and injured his hip.

"The pain is too great for him to compete" the rep stated. "Sure, he could make an announcement, sing a song or two, but the urge to hop into the ring would be too great. We're just going to keep Justin away from Boston."

Featuring special guests Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes, TCW XV is currently in buzz vote.

"We hope people vote positively," concluded the Bieber staffer, "even though Justin won't be participating."

Actor Beats EIC to the Punch, Neglects Carmel Candy Coating

In what some are calling the oddest video posted by the actor-comedian, Jim Carrey has recently announced his love for actress Emma Stone. Despite their age difference, it appears that Carrey may have developed feelings for her while working on the film The Red Devil.

Although little concerning the fantasy movie is known at this time, an all-star cast has been announced. Directed by Peter Jackson, the film also features Brad Pitt, Ian McKellen and Ron Howard.

Plus, thanks to the use of computer imagery (and a special award), the late Heath Ledger will be starring.

More details to come. The Red Devil, a Ship of Fooles production, will be released on January 17.

EIC Fights Illness, Posts Odd Meme

To the dismay of APB TV fans, producer Marlowe will not be providing television content this week. An episode of The Twilight Zone was planned, but Marlowe has been fighting winter illness for the week.

"I just don't have the energy to properly finish the episode" the producer stated. "Sure, I can knock off one of these news things, but they take much less effort. If I mess up, so what?"

A show from Miracle Pictures Productions should show next week. The belated Zone episode? Or on track with It's Always Me? Both?

"Beats me" concluded Marlowe with a stuffy chuckle (which he is coining the word stuckle). "I'm too busy napping and keeping that old waste basket within reach."

I'll Take Two With a Side of Ketchup

If it's panties you want, Toran is willing to get them to you.

At least in a movie, that is.

Toran Productions is writing a new film, described as: A couple with financial problems realize the profit they can make by selling used panties until they get messed with the organized crime part of it.

According to the producer, "Panty selling is pretty huge on the Internet, even met someone who was selling at my community college and that's what inspired the idea."

Aiming at a Coen Brothers-style quirky comedy drama, Toran is too early in the process to know who could star in the movie. Rumors of a Justin Bieber-Miley Cyrus teaming are premature.

As for promoting the film, Toran is reportedly stocking up on used panties to give to moviegoers on opening night.

"You have to give people what they want" the Toran the Hitman author remarked.

No due date for the film has been set yet.

Because.

She's a Wonder!

Lynda Carter's "Wonder Woman" is heading back to the real world small screens come Christmastime. Me-TV announced earlier this week that they'll show all 60 episodes of the 1970s series starring Lynda Carter starting December 27 with the pilot. The show will join Me-TV's Saturday night line-up.

"Wonder Woman" ran from 1975 to 1979 and since then, many networks have tried to recreate Carter's iconic portrayal on TV. Few have succeeded. Carter once stated that Hollywood doesn't understand Wonder Woman's powers. \

"She is an Amazon Princess and she's got really strong sisterhood values. She's smart, and she just happens to be beautiful and super strong."

Now, it looks like Me-TV has the right idea by giving life to the classic show without altering a single thing.

On HTG Hollywood screens, Lynda Carter occasionally appears as the mother to It's Always Me lead character Michael Razcynski (Jason Segel). Will she make an appearance this season?

"I sure hope so" remarked one fan.

"Coco di loco" muttered another.

It's Always Me appears every two weeks on APB Television.