Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Tomato Harvest Begins Early, Bug Investation Avoided Through Use of Kim Kardashian's New Perfume

Once a source of movie magic, actor Eddie Murphy's luck in HTG Hollywood has been non-existent. In fact, the star of The Nutty Professor has yet to be hired in more than 10 years of the city's existence.

"I thought when Miracle Pictures bought the Beverly Hills Cop franchise, poor ol' Eddie would get some work," stated a local movie fan. "But, in usual fashion, the guy who runs that company is taking his time with getting the project done. Also, I hear that Eddie's Axel Foley isn't even going to be the primary star of the show. It'll be some younger guy! Eddie just can't get a break, huh?"

Fortune for Murphy continued to diminish when he arrived at the casting call for Matthew Atwood's Space Travel on a Budget. Eager to get hired, Murphy was disappointed to discover that the agents had meant to call the next person on their alphabetical list of talent... Bill Murray.

"You should have seen his face," a worker at the meeting witnessed. "He wanted to try out anyway, but they said no. He cried out that he was Pluto Nash, but that didn't impress anyone. Pity. I liked that movie. Why won't people hire Eddie?"

According to those on hand, Bill Murray did nail the part for Space Travel on a Budget. He will star as Demitri, an apparently lazy and dumb engineer who is set to guide a young man to the stars.

Others set to star include Zooey Deschanel, Adrien Brody, Noomi Rapace and Kodi Smit-McPhee. The comedy has Sofia Coppola as director. Space Travel on a Budget, a Miracle Pictures release of a Slacker Mafia Films production, opens on June 12.

No, Kate Upton does not appear in it.

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